Maybe.
I tossed my phone on the couch and sighed again. I knew without a doubt that I would be at his house tomorrow. The elation I felt over spending time with another human being who didn’t berate me or spit up on me was dimmed slightly by the never-ending guilt. It seemed that all I ever felt was guilt.
“I knew you’d come,” Ethan said the moment I climbed out of my car.
“Then, I should’ve skipped out on this little adventure just to prove you wrong,” I said with a grin.
He laughed. “But then you would have sat at home all day, watching cartoons and thinking about all the fun you were missing out on.” He studied me for a moment. “Hey, have you lost weight? You look like you have.”
I felt my face heat up as I looked away. I did not like discussing my weight or my issues with it with anyone, not even my own mother—hell, especially not my mother. For Ethan to ask about it was extremely embarrassing.
“Yeah, I’ve lost a few pounds over the last few weeks. It’s nothing to brag about though. I’m still fat,” I said, feeling twenty shades of awkward.
I couldn’t believe that he’d noticed. Joey hadn’t, or he would have said something. He made sure to regularly comment on my weight.
Ethan rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to stand here and tell you that you look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but I certainly wouldn’t call you fat. Stop beating yourself up over bullshit like that. I think you look fine.”
“Whatever,” I mumbled.
Apparently satisfied that he’d put me in my place, Ethan grabbed two poles, a cooler, and a tackle box off of his porch, balancing everything carefully. “Let me toss these in the back of my car, and we’ll go.”
“Can we take my car instead? I’m worried about leaving it in front of your house all day.”
He frowned and opened his mouth, as if to say something, but he must have decided against it. He clamped his mouth shut and nodded as he walked over to my car. After arranging the tackle box and poles in the backseat, we climbed in.
“So, where are we going?” I asked as I started my car.
“You remember the road we were on the night you came to see me?” When I nodded, he continued, “The fishing spot is on the same road.”
We were quiet as I drove, and neither of us spoke until I hit what I now considered our road.
“So, what was up with the pity party last night?” I finally asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing. I just had some bullshit in my head that I was trying to figure out.”
“Like what?”
“Nothing important. Turn left up here,” Ethan said.
I frowned but turned left onto a narrow dirt road. “Uh, is my car going to be okay while going down this road? I didn’t realize we’d be going off-road.”
“It’ll be fine. There are no pot holes or anything out through here. Just some small tree limbs sticking out since the owner hardly ever comes out to clear it.”
I kept going down the road, slowing down at each winding turn. After about a mile, I saw a clearing up ahead. When we reached it, I was surprised to see a large pond in front of us. A dock ran out into the middle of it. It was the perfect fishing spot.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place. I used to go fishing all the time when I was a kid.” I parked my car next to the dock.
“Hardly anyone knows about it, which is why I like it so much,” Ethan said.
We climbed out and grabbed our gear along with the cooler from the backseat. I followed Ethan down the dock to the very end. We baited our hooks and cast the lines out. I sat down on the edge of the dock with my feet hanging over the end. The dock was high enough that my feet were a foot or two above the water.
Ethan sat down next to me and flipped the lid of the cooler open. He pulled out two beers and tossed me one.
“Thanks,” I said, trying not to wrinkle my nose.
Apparently, I’d failed because he laughed and took the beer out of my hand. He grabbed a soda out of the cooler and handed it to me.
“Better?” he asked.
“Much. I’m not a fan of beer. It tastes like piss. I’m a vodka kind of girl.”
“I don’t mind it.” He took a drink.
We sat in silence, waiting for even the slightest nibble.
After a little while, I glanced over at him. “Are you sure there are fish in here?”
“Patience, young one,” he said with a grin.
“Young one? I’m older than you, remember? You haven’t even hit your twenties yet.”
The grin slowly slipped away. “Some days, I feel like I’m forty. Life is a lot harder than I expected it to be.”
“How so?” I asked as I reeled my line in and cast out again.
“Money is a pain in the ass to come by, for one. I never realized how much everything costs—rent, bills, food. I took those things for granted when I lived with my dad. It seems like, no matter how many hours I work, I can’t get ahead of it all. I’ve been working odd jobs on the side just to be able to save a little.”
“I could ask my dad if he needs an extra part-time guy in the shop, if you want. Lately, it seems like, no matter how many repairs we get out, we’re constantly behind.”
As soon as I made the suggestion, I regretted it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to help Ethan because I did. I was simply nervous over the thought of spending actual face-to-face time with him with other people around, especially my dad. The man never missed a thing. Plus, Ethan and I were already so close. If I spent time with him, I knew we would only grow closer.
“You would really do that for me?” he asked, sounding surprised.
The look of hope on his face made me forget any regret I’d had about my offer.
“Of course. I’ll talk to him on Monday. I can’t promise anything since he’s a hard-ass, but I’ll try to help you.”
“That’s more than most people would do.” He stared at me. “You’re one of the kindest people I’ve met. People like you are hard to come by.”
“Wow, all I did was offer you a job, Ethan. It’s not like I’m handing over free money or anything.”
He grinned. “I know, but most people just brush off someone else’s problems and focus on their own. You offered to help me without a second thought.”
“Yes, I’m your fairy godmother. Remember this conversation if you end up with the job. I’m the nice girl who got you a barely above minimum-wage job where you have to work on cars all day. Cinderella only wishes she had ended up with a fairy godmother as cool as me.”
He chuckled. “You didn’t used to be this sarcastic. At least, I don’t remember you being like this before.”
“I was shy in school, hardly said anything to anyone. I guess having a child brought me out of my shell. Sadly, for everyone around me, my sarcasm flows freely now.”
“I like your sarcasm,” Ethan said. “I like a lot of things about you actually.”
“What else do you like about me? Besides my glowing personality, of course.”
“I like how open you are with me. I don’t know if you’re like this with everyone else or not—”
“I’m not,” I interrupted him. “I’m usually so closed off that no one can figure out what I’m thinking. With you, it’s easy for me to spill my problems. I don’t know why. Maybe because when I messaged you that first night, you were a stranger to me. I mean, I knew you, but it had been years.
“I assumed I’d message you for a little bit that night and then never speak with you again. I never planned on staying in touch or considering you as a friend again. Then, something happened, and we kept on talking. I was so at ease with you that I just kept on talking. I still am. Maybe, one day, I’ll finally shut up.”