“Thank you, but you can’t do it all for me. I have to fight too. I’m tired of hiding behind locked doors and false names. Whatever this is, I’m going to confront it. Then I’m going to kill it.”
He shuddered. If he didn’t keep a close eye on her, she would do something dangerous. Even if she could move like one of them, she had no idea what lengths those creatures might go to. No one did.
“I heard about the note Ellis’s boss found,” Shay continued. “He came in right after I called you. All those people dead because of me. Renee, Mr. Calhoun, Mrs. Lindsey, and Nick. I still don’t know why he was following me, but he didn’t deserve to die. And that poor woman in the woods, he killed her just because she looked like me. Can you imagine how her kids felt, if she had any, knowing their mommy was dead, never coming home, because she looked like some woman they’ve never heard of? How can I live with that?”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“But it happened because of me. Everyone who comes near me gets sucked into this nightmare. You could die. Your brothers and the other warriors could die.” She leaned her head on Cody’s chest, tracing the outline of his battle marks. “I can’t lose you.”
“You didn’t lose me. I’ll always be here.”
“I guess I owe Ellis’s boss lunch. What’s his name?”
“Anson Masters.” He captured her hands, trying to still them. He couldn’t take much more or he would throw her down here in the hay, which wasn’t what she needed.
“Sounds familiar.”
Her hands somehow wiggled free, or was he not trying hard? They dipped lower, brushing his stomach, drawing circles around his navel, making his whole body ache. She raised her face to his, and he saw the hunger there, but he didn’t want her coming to him because she needed to feel alive or because he had a mark on his neck that said she had to. She immediately regretted it when they made love at the cabin, thinking of the baby they lost. Did he dare make love to her now, here, where it all started?
“Shay, you need to stop touching me.”
She looked up at him. “Why?”
“Because I’ve thought about you touching me like this every day for the past nine years. Especially since the night at the cabin, and I’ve spent the last several hours thinking you were dead. I’m so damned glad to see you alive, I don’t trust myself.”
***
She didn’t stop. She continued trailing her fingers over his battle marks, stroking the quivering flesh covering his ribs and back, enjoying the differences in his body, the way the muscles attached to bone. There were far more muscles than he had at nineteen. She captured his wrist and kissed the mark there. Tattoo, scar, whatever. It was part of him.
“What is it you don’t trust yourself not to do?” she asked, her heart knocking against her chest. She slipped her finger under the edge of his jeans.
He drew in a sharp breath. “This isn’t smart,” he said, leaning closer. His mouth touched hers, then moved away. She could feel his indecision.
“Kiss me,” she said.
He dove in like a man starving for food. He alternated between yanking off their clothes and trying to talk her out of it. He stripped them to their underwear, stopping when he saw the small bandage between her breasts. “What?”
“He cut me.”
Cody looked so fierce, she could believe he’d killed an ancient demon.
But warrior or not, he was Cody. Her Cody. She cradled his cheek. “Just make me forget, please? I need you.”
A long moment passed between them. His eyes softened, and he pressed his lips beside the bandage. She ran her fingers through his hair, but it wasn’t enough. When he raised his head, she let her hand drift over all of him, shoulders, neck, down to his thighs. “I can’t stand it,” she said, stripping off his underwear. Her panties and bra quickly followed, and he eased her back onto a bed made of their discarded clothes.
“You’re beautiful,” he said, slowing, running his hands over her as if she were a flake of snow. “So beautiful.”
“Show me. Like you did at the cabin.”
“I don’t want to pressure you.”
“You’re not,” she said, wrapping her hand around him.
“Don’t do that. I want this time to be slower. Hang on.” He reached for his jeans and removed a foil pack. He rolled the condom on and settled back between her thighs. His gaze was intense, his body warm. His jaw clenched as he slipped inside. “I think it’s too late for slow.”
She nodded and grabbed his butt. “I know.”
His mouth found hers as his body started to move. “I’m trying to be gentle, but I don’t know if I can,” he said.
She locked her legs around his hips, holding on tight. “I don’t want gentle. I want to feel.” And she wanted to forget Ellis’s touch.
The pace was frantic, as it had been at the cabin, and Shay suspected it might take a couple more times before they could relax. She didn’t try to fight it, but let the feeling swallow her whole. Cody tensed, and his body shuddered. “I love you,” he whispered, letting his weight settle against her. They lay that way for several moments, bodies and hearts joined. Did he realize what he’d said? Mate marks were one thing, beyond their control. Words were a choice. How could he know he loved her? He hadn’t known her for the past nine years. Maybe he was confusing love with the sense of protection he’d always felt for her. Even if he wasn’t… what if it was too late for them? She wouldn’t survive another broken heart.
He sat up. “You hear that?”
At first she thought he meant those three little words, but then she heard the voices, one loud and panicked. Bree.
Cody and Shay scrambled up.
“Can’t it wait, whatever it is?” That was Faelan. “You just passed out.”
“No, it can’t wait.” Bree’s voice wafted up through the rafters.
“What’s all the ruckus about?” Brodie asked. “Looks like a barn party.”
“Where’s Shay?” Bree asked.
“Hurry,” Shay whispered, struggling to get into her clothes. Cody rolled off the condom, looked around, then cursed under his breath and stuck it in his pocket.
“You up there, Cody?” Ronan called.
They heard a footstep on the ladder.
“For God’s sake, man, don’t come up.” Cody stuffed his legs into his jeans and reached for his shirt.
“I blew my nose on it,” Shay whispered.
“I’ve got a used condom in my pocket, I’m not worried about a little snot,” he whispered, pulling the shirt over his head. He must have seen the question in her eyes. “Lach shoved it into my hand when we got out of the car.”
“Well, hurry down,” Ronan said. “Bree won’t talk until you get here.”
“It’s complicated, and I don’t want to have to explain it twice,” Bree said, her voice shaky.
Cody and Shay scrambled into the rest of their clothes and climbed nonchalantly down the ladder.
The intensity of the moment was diffused, as everyone stared at them.
Shay discreetly checked her clothes, wondering if she’d put her bra on outside her shirt. “Is something wrong?”
Ronan’s mouth twitched. He reached over and picked a couple of pieces of hay out of Shay’s hair.
“Well, for one thing, Cody’s shirt’s on inside out, and you both look like scarecrows with leaky stuffing,” Lachlan said, but he looked pleased.
“I don’t care how my shirt’s on,” Cody said. “Why is everyone in the bloody barn?”
Jamie stuck his head in the door, saw everyone, and frowned. “Is Shay okay?”
“No,” Bree said, her voice trembling. “He’s coming for her. The demon, he knows she’s alive.”
Cody’s eyes narrowed. “Which demon?”
“The one who marked her.”
The fine hairs on Shay’s arms lifted. Tension radiated from each warrior’s body.
“Are you sure?” Cody asked. “You said sometimes the dreams get mixed up.”
Bree twisted her ring. “No. He’s the one who dug up the empty grave.”