She swal owed and dropped her face into her hands, pressing her fingertips to her eyelids. “It wasn’t until years later that I figured out she lived every moment like it was her last because she knew it might be.”
His hard hand closed over her shoulder, more comfort than she’d thought possible in that simple gesture.
“She was sick? I thought wolves couldn’t—”
“Not sick, exactly.” Running her fingers through her hair, she fought the urge to pul him down to the mattress with her. “Her family had a history of dying during the Change. It was like her own personal Sword of Damocles hanging over her head. She pointed that intensity at finding a treatment for the Change, something to make it easier to survive, more control able. I sometimes wonder if she knew that her time was limited, if she somehow sensed that she wouldn’t live to see Alex grow up, but she wanted to make sure that she left behind a future brighter than the one she’d faced. I wonder if it was al to save him, rather than to save herself.”
He squeezed her shoulder, then slid his hand up and down her back. “She sounds like a hel of a woman.”
“She was. She was my best friend and she was just . . . beautiful inside and out. Alex has his father’s green eyes, but the bronze skin and dark hair are al Jaya. His face is even a male version of hers.” She grinned, final y able to meet his gaze as al the good times streamed through her mind. “Alex was just like her.”
“Alex?” The doubt was plain in Merek’s voice. “The kid is intense, yeah, but not—”
“Fun? No. Not anymore, anyway. He was there when she died. Al I know is that Ivan and Jaya fought that day. A big, rip-roaring shouting match and total relationship meltdown. It was a ful moon that night.” She seesawed her hand through the air. “Alex and Ivan completed the shift and Jaya . . . didn’t. Change can be so unpredictable, and wolf magic fluctuates so much at ful moon. More than most Magickals would guess, and far more than I realized before I started my research. Though some werewolves maintain control better than others, anything that throws a wolf off-balance can be the difference between control ing the ful moon shift and not. Jaya’s getting into a fight . . .”
“What did they fight about?”
“I don’t know. That’s al I’ve ever been able to drag out of Alex. He and his father never talk about her.
Absolutely never.” Her voice broke on that last sentence, and she cleared her throat. “It’s a shame, real y, because she was so wonderful. Her life should be celebrated. She should be remembered. ”
Merek sat down beside her, his hand stil warm and solid on her back. “You remember her.”
“Yeah. I do.” She gave a smal smile and sighed. “I hope Alex gets to the point that he can ask about her someday. It’d be criminal if the only thing he ever associates with her is fighting and a horrible death.”
He pul ed her close, tucking her against his chest. “If anyone can help him get there, it’s you.”
“Thanks.” She half laughed, half sighed. He had more faith in her than she did, but she let herself lean against him and absorb some of this strength. Just for a moment, she’d al ow herself the weakness. The desire to touch him and taste him was eclipsed only by the need to let him comfort and care for her. The feeling was powerful enough to scare her, so she did the only thing she could do—she ripped herself free of his arms and hurried to her closet to grab a Seattle Seahawks basebal cap she hadn’t worn in years.
He reached for her again when she tossed the hat into her suitcase, but she flinched away. Her hormones were rioting, and she didn’t trust herself to get near him. Not again. His expression flattened, and he stood to glare down at her. “What’s going on, Chloe?”
What was going on was that she wanted him so badly her hands shook like an addict looking for a fix.
She fisted her fingers at her sides. They were going to have to play nice for the next few weeks or months or however long it took Luca to wrap up this case with Smith—and she refused to think that he might never catch the guy—so she might as wel lay her chips on the table. Alex didn’t need a tense environment to live in, and his comfort and safety were more important to her than anything else. She met Merek’s gaze squarely. “Look, we’re going to be stuck together for a while, so you should know your bodyguard job duties don’t include being a gigolo. I appreciate your doing this for Alex and me, and I’m not going to jump you again like I did at the safe house. Your virtue, or whatever’s left of it, is safe with me. Not a single seduction spel wil I cast.”
“Wel , that’s a shame.” He moved around behind her, his breath ruffling the hair at her temple.
She shuddered, snapped her suitcases closed, and lifted them off the mattress. Merek reached around her, took the bags, and dropped them on the floor. Then his hands were on her, turning her to pul her to him, trapping her between his body and the bed.
“I thought I made this clear last night, but if not, al ow me to reiterate.” His hands slipped up to cup her face, his eyes a stormy gray. “I want you. I have wanted you from the second I laid eyes on you. I fucked you at work, for gods’ sake. The only reason I didn’t fuck you at the safe house when you pressed this sweet, soft little body against me was that you’d been tortured, and we were in an exposed position. Even then, it was a damn close cal . Because I want you, and I have wanted you since the moment I met you. And every single moment since, I’ve stil wanted you.”
“Me, too.” She swal owed, her pulse pounding in her ears as the simple, stark truth spil ed from her lips. “I —I dream about us, about that first night. Al the time.”
He groaned, his fingertips caressing her face, sliding along her cheekbones and down to her chin to force her to meet his gaze. “We have about a half an hour before Alex, Mil ie, and her chauffeur / bodyguard /
gigolo get here.” She huffed out a laugh, and he stepped even closer, his fingers cupping the back of her neck. “That’s not as much time as I’d like, but I’m wil ing if you are. I’m wil ing to continue this thing between us for as long as we’re together on this case.”
The half smile that tilted his lips melted any protest she might have made. She sighed. As if there would have been any protest anyway. The temptation to touch him whenever she could had been irresistible from the first.
“I’m wil ing,” she breathed. If he was, she was. She swayed toward him to close the negligible distance between them. Her breasts flattened against the hard wal of muscle that was his chest.
He leaned down and brushed his lips over hers, a soft caress after the rough claiming in his office. She pressed closer, tempted beyond reason, beyond caution, beyond logic. His lips molded hers, sipping smal kisses until she moaned and deepened the contact herself, sweeping her tongue into his mouth. He tasted the same, like warm honey and hot man.
His hands settled on her hips, pul ing her tight to his groin to fit her against his thick cock. She arched closer, trying to get his erection right where she needed it. Frustration twisted inside her at the barriers of their clothing. She wanted his hard dick pushing into her. Right now. Her flesh burned, her core melting until she was wetter than she’d ever been in her life. His tongue twined with hers in a sinuous dance, their kisses growing wilder, rougher, but it wasn’t enough.