Hadn’t he done the same when he’d gone with Chloe and Alex instead of letting his own history keep him in the familiarity of work and the comfort of old bitterness? Then again, he had no idea if this would end wel for any of them, so what was he doing giving advice to anyone?
Chloe sat on the couch with a mug of steaming hot, corrosive, and foul coffee cupped between her palms.
The revolver lay loaded on the coffee table in front of her. Twilight had grown longer and longer, and Merek was stil out. She tried not to worry. Too much. She stil had some time.
Luckily—or perhaps, unluckily—she had plenty to occupy her mind. Merek had admitted he cared. It stil warmed her deep inside, but he’d also confessed how caring scared him. Merek was never going to be a man who admitted to any weakness easily. And his revelations about his wife explained so much about the man she’d come to know. Why he felt the need to control every detail, why he was so overprotective, why he was a diehard cynic.
Unfortunately, her years in med school, internships, and residencies meant she could picture the crime scenes he’d described al too clearly. Her heart ached for the young man who’d had to go through that with someone he loved. Who had to live with the weight of responsibility riding his shoulders. Gods, what a nightmare.
She imagined any man, especial y a cop, would have felt some guilt over what happened, but Merek’s clairvoyance made his guilt that much more oppressive. She didn’t know how he’d lived through it and made it out sane. He was possibly the strongest person she’d ever known. And one of the kindest, most considerate, and most compassionate.
The man confused her. He was a study in contradictions, al of which she found fascinating. He made her feel what she didn’t want to, which scared the crap out of her, and he also made her feel safer than she had in her entire life. Even with terrorists chasing them down, ready to torture her or Alex for the information locked in their heads.
No. Just no.
A sigh slid out, and she grimaced when she sipped her awful excuse for coffee. The instant stuff was just offensive to her sensibilities. No self-respecting Seattleite should ever have to touch this crap. She took another swig, and felt the caffeine start to kick in even as the acidic liquid burned her bel y.
She tensed when she heard the doorknob, but relaxed when the voices in her head gave a reassuring whisper and she felt the easing of the shield spel s around the apartment. Merek. Anyone else would have to breach the spel ; only he and she and Alex could pass through it without incredible magical energy expended or harm coming to them.
Setting her coffee on the table, she resisted the urge to throw herself at him when he came in the door and make sure he was uninjured. He knew how to take care of himself. She had no doubts about that. So instead of wringing her hands like an idiotic weakling, she picked up the gun as he walked in and she carried it with her as she went to the kitchen to make him a cup of the nasty tar. He was as addicted as she and Alex were, so any coffee was better than no coffee. She hoped he’d remembered to get some real stuff at the store.
He dropped the bazil ion grocery sacks he had looped around his arms on the floor and counter, then accepted the coffee cup she handed him and took a deep swig. She motioned to the revolver she’d placed on the counter. “Mission accomplished?”
“Yep, we’re ful y loaded. Ammo’s in there somewhere, but I had to take the long way to get there and back. Sorry it took so long, but I couldn’t risk being fol owed.” He frowned down at the mug in his hand. “This has honey in it.”
“Yeah, so?” She lifted an eyebrow, digging into the bags and separating out things that required refrigeration.
“You haven’t unloaded the bag with the honey in it.” Rifling through the sea of plastic, he came up with a bear-shaped container ful of golden liquid.
She shrugged and went back to her sorting. “We ate at Kentucky Fried Chicken when we flew through Lexington, remember? I snagged you a handful of those little honey packets they give out for their biscuits.”
“Ah. Thanks for looking out for me.” He blinked at her, looked down at the coffee, then sipped it again.
Something unreadable moved across his expression, but he said nothing more.
The bag holding the milk had another plastic bottle in it. She pul ed it out and stared at it uncomprehendingly for a moment. Massage oil and lubricant in one.
“For later.” Merek’s low rumble made heat pool in her bel y. He bent forward to nip at the lower curve of her ass, and she jolted in shock. Her nipples tightened, her sex dampening as al the erotic possibilities raced through her mind of what he might have planned for her. Then he snagged the smal bottle from her hand and stuffed it in his pocket just before Alex came out of his room with a technical manual dangling from his fingers.
A hot blush washed up her cheeks, and she gave them a weak smile.
Alex and Merek greeted each other with manly slaps on the back, and Merek sent her a look that promised al manner of wicked things when the wolf turned away to drop his book and start helping.
“Hey, check this out.” Alex rummaged around in a bulging shopping bag.
“What?” She peered around his shoulder to watch him unload one night-light after another until over a dozen were lined up along the counter.
Most of them were plain old night-lights, but a few of them were truly hideous. One was shaped like a deer carved into a fake log, another looked like a plastic moose’s head, and another was made out of what might have once been a pinecone. The last was a deformed seashel . With glitter. She picked that one up with the very tips of her thumb and forefinger and held it out as if it were something smel y. “What is this, exactly?”
Merek arched his brows and shrugged, but a grin broke through. “Hey, I cleaned out the store. The other options were scented, and I figured if we mixed six of those with a werewolf nose in the house, he might vomit on us as payback.”
“Thanks. Real y. I mean that.” Alex’s voice was fervent as he yanked the wrapping off of each light. “Thank you.”
Chloe snorted, but had to turn away to hide the tears wel ing in her eyes. She stuffed the refrigerated items into the fridge and freezer, blinking until the moisture was gone. Alex knew she liked lights on at night, and Merek knew exactly why she was terrified of the dark, and neither of them thought she was a wimp.
And Merek . . . He was control ed, but not control ing. He didn’t try to control them. He accepted them just as they were, and control ed al the details around them to make sure they had everything they needed.
Alex’s werewolf need to Change at ful moon was just another detail. Merek wasn’t annoyed by it, didn’t act pissed off by the inconvenience. He just handled it.
Now that he knew she was afraid of the dark and why, he didn’t try to talk her out of it, try to reason with her or tel her to grow up and get over it; he just went out and bought her an entire store’s worth of night-lights.
That was the moment, right there, that she fel al the way in love with him. She’d been fighting it, avoiding it, and ignoring it for days now, but that did it. She loved him. Completely, utterly loved him.
She just had no idea what she could do about it. After what he’d told her about his wife, she couldn’t imagine that he’d ever want to deal with loving anyone ever again. Not when it meant he also had to deal with the fact that he couldn’t see her future and any bad things coming down the pipeline. That was assuming he even felt some of this wrenching, terrifying, wonderful emotion that was threatening to consume her soul.
The worst part was, she wasn’t even sure she could blame him for not wanting any part of this. No one understood better than she did that some wounds just never healed, some fears could never be overcome.