And if you couldn’t fix it, you just had to live with it any way you could. Merek wasn’t asking her to change, so how could she try to force him to live with his worst nightmare permanently?
She couldn’t.
The rest of the evening passed in a daze. She barely noticed when Alex pushed al the furniture in the living room against one wal , Merek set up a force field so they didn’t break anything or make noise that would disturb the neighbors, and the two practiced close quarters combat. The television show they watched after made both males howl with laughter, but she stared into space petting a purring Ophelia.
Her thoughts ricocheted around in her mind until she wanted to scream. She couldn’t even talk to anyone about it, especial y not Merek. If she were home, she’d have Mil ie and Tess to ask for advice, but as it stood, she was total y alone in a sea of maleness that either wouldn’t want to know or wouldn’t get what she was going through. Gods, this sucked. It hurt. It hurt to love someone and have to keep it locked inside. It hurt to have to protect someone from the most amazing thing she’d ever experienced.
The TV program ended so she kissed Alex good night and wandered into the bathroom to brush her teeth before bed. When she bent forward to spit out the toothpaste, she saw Merek reflected in the mirror behind her, and she damn near choked on her toothbrush.
Waiting for her to finish with her coughing fit, he propped his broad shoulder on the doorjamb, Ophelia draped across one brawny forearm, purring while he stroked her. “Something’s on your mind, sweetheart.”
Too many somethings. A flush sped up her cheeks, and she rinsed her toothbrush off, set it aside, and splashed cool water on her face. Unaccustomed nerves jangled inside her. Crossing such a huge threshold in her heart, and having to do it alone, suddenly froze her with terror. How did she act around him now? How did she keep him from noticing? He was the most observant man she’d ever known. He never missed anything about her, not a hitch in her breathing, a sigh, a change of mood. He watched, he listened, and he cared.
And she loved him for it.
“Is this about yesterday?” His gaze shuttered, his expression going blank.
It took a moment for the question to process, and she yanked her mind from her own issues and focused on him. She turned to face him. “No, this isn’t about yesterday, or anything you said.”
“You sure?” His gaze moved over her, but no emotion showed there. “You know you can talk to me if something is wrong.” A tiny smile hovered at the corners of his mouth. “I can take it.”
A repeat of her own words that had kicked off the discussion of his precognition and his wife. She let a laugh huff out and pushed away from the vanity. Taking Ophelia from his arms, she set the familiar on the ground. “Go play in the living room, sugar.”
The cat darted away, and Chloe stepped into Merek’s embrace. Her heart turned over when his strong arms immediately closed around her, and she buried her nose against his warm chest, inhaling the scent of him and sweat and the lingering smel of laundry soap on his shirt.
“I know you can handle anything.” But then he might feel obligated if she dumped her feelings al over him.
The only thing worse than being in love alone was being the object of pity from the person you loved. Her bel y lurched at the thought. No. No, she wouldn’t do that to him, wouldn’t cling or revert to her old childhood neediness. He deserved better than that, and so did she. She sighed, pressed her hands to his chest, and gazed up at him. “This isn’t something you need to handle. I can figure it out on my own, but I appreciate the offer to listen more than you know.”
He didn’t look happy with that, just as he’d been displeased any other time she’d withheld information from him, but he gave a reluctant nod. “Just remember, you don’t have to go through anything alone right now, Chloe. I’m here to make sure you’re al right. I can’t do that effectively if you don’t tel me when something is wrong.”
How she kept the tears from wel ing up in her eyes, she’d never know, but instead she managed a smile for him. “When something is wrong, I’l let you know. I have some stuff to figure out, but nothing is wrong. I promise.”
Things were far too right, and that’s where she hit her current snag. His hands stroked up and down her back, and his gaze searched her face. A spurt of alarm darted through her. He would know if he looked too deep. Of course he would. He was Merek.
Time for a distraction.
Rising up on tiptoe, she brushed her lips over his chin, his jaw. “Kiss me, Merek. Take my mind off of things.”
“I can’t believe I’m saying this.” He leaned down and feathered a kiss over her mouth. “But I’d rather you tel me what you need your mind taken off of.”
She smiled against his lips, running her tongue along the curve of the bottom one. “My mind is always on you. And bad men. And you. And you when you’re being a bad man.”
His arms tightened around her, pul ing her flush against al of those hard angles. He kissed her hard once, twice. “I’m always good.”
“Prove it.” She arched her back, rubbed herself against the steely length of his erection, and felt the insidious heat begin to leech the strength out of her muscles. Her body molded itself to his, her nipples beaded to chafe against the soft satin of her bra.
Shifting her around until the doorjamb pressed into her back, he pinned her there while he swooped in for a thorough kiss that had her up on her tiptoes again to get closer. His tongue swept into her mouth, and his honeyed flavor made her moan. The man was addicting, and she never wanted to get enough. She wanted him forever. Their tongues mated, twined, dancing until their breathing was ragged. She cupped his jaw in her palms, wanting to show him with actions how much she craved him, needed him, loved him. Everything she couldn’t say out loud, she put into that kiss.
Renewed magic shivered beneath her skin, waiting to be tapped. She let it loose, let the heat and longing she felt pour from her to him. Her need was returned to her in a throbbing echo of his magic, the hot male thrum of it seeping into her very bones. Her sex went slick with juices, her nipples so tight they ached for the feel of his hands on them.
Jerking away, he stared down at her, his pupils so huge that only a thin rim of silver remained. His lips were as red and swol en as hers felt. His chest heaved with each bel owing breath. “Bed. Now.”
“Yes.”
He swept her off her feet, carried her to the king-sized mattress, and dumped her on it. With a flick of his fingers, the bedroom door swished closed and locked. Oh. She’d forgotten al about that when she’d told Ophelia to leave. Oops.
Holding his hand out, fingers splayed, he intoned, “Naked.”
She arched in startled reflex as her clothes fel away and left her bare to his gaze. He was just as nude, and she let herself look at him. Golden muscles rippled in the lamplight, hard cock dripping pre-cum, gray eyes flashing silver with barely leashed power.
His eyes closed for just a moment, and a wave of magic swept out from him, tingled as it passed over her skin. She felt a boost in the strength of the shields around the apartment. A smile tilted her lips. Safety first.
Always in command of the details. She understood his obsession better now, and for al of their sakes, she was grateful for it, if not for the events that made him so conscientious. Stil , she wouldn’t change the man for anything. She loved him just as he was.
When he looked at her again, she held out her arms and let her grin widen. “Come here.”
“Not just yet.” He shook his head, taking a moment to trail his gaze over her body. The air-conditioned breeze in the room made her nipples bead tighter, and she felt the heat of his gaze touch her skin.