“Please. We both know you only took that internship with me to be closer to your dad.” Chloe crossed her arms on top of the bed railing, ignoring Alex’s slight flinch at the mention of his father. “We need to talk.”
“About what?” His voice clearly said he didn’t care, which both worried her and made her want to shake him. It would take time, she knew, but she hated seeing him so shut down.
“The future, young man. Your future, to be precise,” Mil ie snapped tartly. She plopped her purse in her lap and reclined in her chair. “What we’re going to do with you.”
He frowned at the older woman. “I don’t understand.”
Chloe opened her mouth to explain gently, but Mil ie beat her to speech. Her tone managed to be both kind and acerbic. “Your parents are both gone, and as far as we know, there are no other relatives to claim you.”
Bleakness entered his gaze, and he focused on the wal across from him, cleared his throat. “No, there’s no one.”
“Okay.” Chloe caught his hand in hers, squeezed until he looked at her. “I’ve already had Aunt Mil ie’s lawyer start taking care of the paperwork so I can adopt you.”
“You . . . What?” For the first time in days, she saw real emotion cross his face. Stunned was a good word for it. He blinked, shook his head. “You’ve been looking out for me the last few weeks, yeah, but adoption is permanent.”
“Thanks for that news flash,” she replied.
He snorted. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” And it hurt that he’d assumed after al they’d been through that she’d just let him be lost in the foster care system. The damage Ivan had done to this boy was inexcusable, making him believe he was so disposable. In his obsessed drive to assure that his son didn’t die like his wife, Ivan had missed out on the only years he would have had with his child. So much ugliness and grief, and in the end it had al come to rest on Alex’s doorstep.
“It’s not real y kosher for a non-wolf to adopt a wolf.” His words were a protest, but he tightened his grip on her hand to an almost painful degree, his desperation so clear it made her want to pick him up and hug him like she had when he was a toddler.
“I’m your godmother. Your parents named me your guardian if anything should ever happen to them. And something happened to them.” She tossed her head. “So, fuck ‘kosher.’ ”
“Wel , al right.” His free hand lifted to rub his nose. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m one hundred percent sure.” She nodded firmly, wrapping both her hands around his.
“What about Merek?”
She twitched her shoulders in a shrug, not meeting his eyes for the first time. “I don’t know. He’s off doing his cop thing, and I haven’t seen or heard from him.”
“He’s cal ed me a few times, just to check in.”
“Ah.” That piece of news just twisted the knife already lodged firmly in her heart. “Wel , then. I’m guessing that means he’s not part of a package deal for adoption. It’s just you and me, kid. I’m sure he’l keep in touch with you, though.”
Alex looked pained, but didn’t reply, and Chloe was grateful for the silence. There real y were no words to make this better. Nothing could.
The boy cleared his throat twice, glanced away, sighed and then managed to meet her eyes.
“Merek . . . ah . . . asked me to tel you that Smith was kil ed today. It’s over.” Alex tried for an encouraging smile, but didn’t quite make it. “He’l be back home soon.”
“Wel , that’s a relief.” Mil ie spoke up; her hazel eyes had a steely glint that should have worried Chloe, but she was too deep in heartache to care.
Chloe knew Merek had contacted his partner, Alex, and Mil ie in the last week, but not her. That answered a final question, didn’t it? She wanted to track the man down and beg him to give them another chance, but then wanted to beat herself for her own neediness. He knew better than anyone else except her aunt how damaged she was and how that made her reach for comfort in the middle of the night. He knew if he stuck around she’d turn clingy and pathetic.
He’d walked when he’d had the chance at a clean break, and she couldn’t even blame him.
With his control issues, watching them be kidnapped and almost kil ed while he was shot and unable to do anything to save them would have been his very worst nightmare come true. Again.
If anyone understood that, it was her. Even with al she’d been through, she was stil uneasy with the dark.
She didn’t think she’d ever conquer that. If Merek was there, it was bearable, but he wouldn’t be ever again.
The sooner she accepted that, the sooner she could get back to coping with the normalcy of her life.
It hurt. Gods, but it hurt worse than anything she could ever have imagined. She wanted to curl into a little bal and scream with the pain of it. If she had thought it would help, she might have done it, but it wouldn’t.
Nothing would. Like al the other tragedies in her life, she’d just have to endure. Someday it would get better.
It might take years, but it would get better. If she didn’t believe that, she might just col apse from the agony eating away at her soul.
Focusing on something else would help. She had Alex to distract her. Tess’s recovery. Work, with its ongoing research. Even Mil ie and Philip and Ophelia would divert her. Surviving the nights alone in her bed would be her own cross to bear.
She offered Mil ie and Alex the best smile she could. “I’m going to head over and get my house ready for us. Alex wil be released in the morning, and I think it’s past time we both went home.”
The house was pristine, Alex’s room was ready for him, Ophelia had settled in like a queen, and Chloe was about to crawl the wal s. She had to get out. Twelve hours of darkness and alone time stood between her and when she went to pick up her godson. She thought about using her research as an excuse and going down to the hospital to check in on Tess and him, but they’d both know something was wrong.
Because she was the biggest masochist on the planet, and because she needed some closure on her relationship with Merek, she put on a slinky dress and took a cab to Sanguine. The place where she’d met her warlock. It seemed a fitting place to say good-bye.
She cal ed Alex and Tess on the way to say good night, then cal ed Mil ie to let her know where she was headed just in case she was needed for something. Plus, she was going out alone, so it seemed like a good idea to inform someone.
Closing her cel phone, she slipped it into her evening bag and walked into the noise and music that was Sanguine. Dropping her purse on the bar, she slid onto a tal stool and crossed her legs. The place was just as she remembered it, dim lighting, scarred wooden bar, lots of Magickals dancing, drinking, and looking for some play. She nodded when the bartender approached. “What can I get you?”
Just to torture herself a little more, she met the other woman’s gaze and asked, “Got anything with honey in it?”
The bartender tilted her head, considering. “I can do a Honnessey or a Honey Bee for you.”
“What’s the difference?” Not that Chloe cared. If it had alcohol and she could toast to her shattered heart, she was game. At the moment, she was more than ready to drown her sorrows. Tomorrow was soon enough for her to be strong and responsible and parental for Alex.
“One has Hennessey; the other has rum. Twist of lemon, little bit of honey.” The bartender flashed a fanged grin. Vampire. “Pick your poison.”
“I’l take the Honnessey.” And, because Chloe real y intended to earn her masochist stripes tonight, she said, “Put a little more honey in it than usual.”
“Coming right up.”
She dropped a twenty on the bar. “Thanks.”