“B-but you didn’t cal m-me. You c-cal ed to check on Alex, but you didn’t bother to do the s-same for me.”
Gods, it sounded so needy and whiny. Pathetic. She closed her eyes. Tears continued streaking down her cheeks, and she fought hard to keep from total y breaking down.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. I know I total y fucked things up between us.” Merek eased her into his arms, cradled her against his broad chest. He tilted her head back, wiping the moisture from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “Please don’t cry. I wanted to cal you, but I couldn’t.”
A watery laugh huffed out of her. “Yeah, that’s what I told myself, too, until Alex said you were cal ing him.”
“That’s not what I meant.” He rested his forehead against hers, rocking her gently. She could see deep into his eyes, read every emotion there. He didn’t try to hide anything from her. “I didn’t mean I was physical y unable to cal you; I meant I had some personal shit to work through. A lot of personal shit.”
She leaned back a little and searched his face, but even without the open expression, she’d have known.
“Because you couldn’t see to help us and save us from al the bad stuff.”
A chuckle rumbled from him, and he kissed her temple. “You know me too wel .”
“That’s not going to change, I don’t think.” She swal owed, wishing she didn’t have to remind him, wishing she could just take what he said at face value, but she couldn’t bear it if he walked away again. She had to know he’d stick it out even if it meant living with his worst fears every day. “You’re not suddenly going to wake up tomorrow and be able to see our future. I don’t even want you to.”
“I know.” He sighed, lifted his hand to cradle the back of her head and burrow his fingers into her hair.
“That was the shit I was working through. Once I got my head on straight, I drove like a bat out of hel to get to you.”
“So you’re fine with it?”
“No, I’m not.” His smile was rueful. “I’m never going to be, but I’m a lot less fine with walking away from you and Alex because I can’t protect you like I want to be able to. I thought it would be better for you if I left, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to. I want to be with you. I want to help you with the kid. I want al of it. I know it’s a risk to love people, and there’s always a chance something wil take them from you, but I’l take that risk with you. I have to.”
“I want al of that, too. I’m wil ing to take the risk.” Letting out the breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding, she cupped his face in her palms. His eyes closed, and he leaned into her touch, a fine tension she hadn’t noticed before easing from his muscles. She mapped the lines of his face with her fingers. “I thought .
. . I thought you might also have some doubts because”—the words caught in her throat, but she forced them out, needing to have everything clear between them—“because I need you too much, and since my mom died, I tend to hold on too tight to the people I love. I cling.” She flushed, and she knew he’d see it in the bright beam of her porch light. Every light in the house was on. “I mean, you were bleeding out and al I could think was don’t leave me alone. Gods, I’m so sorry. ”
“Shh. No. None of that.” He pul ed in a slow breath, his gaze steady, his touch so tender it made tears prick her eyes again. “Sweetheart, did you ever think that of al the people in the world, Alex and I are two who could real y use someone who holds on and refuses to let go?” He stroked her hair, her shoulders, her back. “I don’t want to leave you alone, and even if that’s al you were thinking when I was shot, you stil managed to pul nine bul ets out of me. You saved my life.” He brushed his mouth over her lips, and she fisted her fingers in his shirt to keep him close. “Need me as much as I need you. Love me so much it feels like you can’t even breathe. Hold on tight and never let me go.”
A sob bubbled out of her, and pure joy broke through. Yes. That was what she wanted with him. Every day for the rest of her life, as long or short as that might be. “I love you, Merek. Everything about you. Dangerous job, control freak, and al . Even if that dangerous job takes you away from me, I wil always be grateful for the time I had with you. I love you just the way you are, because you love me the same way, with al my baggage in tow.”
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He hauled her up on her tiptoes, pressing her flush against him, and slammed his mouth over hers.
A moan ripped loose from deep down inside her. She knotted her fingers in his hair and shoved her tongue between his lips. His hands cupped her ass, ground her against the hard arc of his erection. Her skin flashed hot and her sex went wet, her head spinning after days and days without him. Gods, she wanted him. Needed him, craved him, loved him.
She tugged him backward, pul ing him with her inside the house. He didn’t break the kiss as he shut the door and locked it, engaging the security spel s. That made her smile against his lips, and then shove him against the closed door.
Jerking his shirt from his pants, she pushed it up until he had to release her mouth to get it over his head.
He groaned when her hands skimmed over his chest, her fingers circling his smal nipples. “I love your hands on me, sweetheart. I’ve missed you so fucking much.”
“Good. I want you to miss me.” She flicked her nail over one nipple, and he jerked and chuckled at the same time. Then he hissed out a breath when she licked the flat brown disc, sucking it between her teeth to nibble. Her fingertips toyed with the other nipple, rol ing and pinching it until he groaned for her.
Then she used magic.
A hoarse cry wrenched from him, and he shuddered, his big hands biting into her ass. “Fuck.”
She let his nipple loose, flicking her tongue over it to tease him. “We’re getting to that.”
He bent and scooped her into his arms, which made her squeak and grab for his shoulders. “We’re a hel of lot closer than ‘getting to that,’ sweetheart. I haven’t had you in days. You can play with me later.” His teeth flashed in a white smile. “Much, much later.”
“Hurry.”
The room sped by as he moved toward her bedroom. He set her on the bed, and Ophelia uncurled from the end of the mattress, trotted over to them, and purred. Merek chuckled and scooped the cat against his chest, stroking her as he walked away. “Sorry, sugar. This is a human-only reunion.”
He dropped her to the floor outside the bedroom and kicked the door shut as he came back to Chloe.
She propped herself up on her elbows, watching him. Her breath caught when she noticed the puckered scars that now marred his torso. She sat up, brushing her fingers over them when he drew near, searching out al of them on his chest, side, and back. How close she’d come to losing him. Her throat closed at the thought.
“It didn’t happen, sweetheart.” He caught her hands, drew them to his lips to kiss. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
She nodded. He was right. They’d had a lot of close cal s lately, but they were stil here. They just had to hold on as tight as they could for as long as they could. Starting now. She bent forward and flicked her tongue across a scar that sat just above waistband of his pants. She kissed her way across the taut skin and hard muscles of his lower abdomen.
“Chloe,” he groaned, sliding his fingers into her hair when she worked his belt and fly open. Her body tightened with longing as she moved her hands over his flesh. She wanted to savor, but it had been too long.