“Did you go in?”
“I did. In my stupid head, it was going to be me against him on top of those silos.”
It had already happened, so why was I so scared for him? “It wasn’t.”
“It was me, him, and four other Primes. I took down three. Then the telekinetic threw a semi at me. I dodged the first pass. The second caught me. It swept me off the roof and I fell off the tower.”
Thirty-seven meters. One meter equaled roughly 3.28 feet multiplied by 37 . . . 121.36. He fell one hundred and twenty-one feet. Oh my God.
“I don’t remember the impact,” he said. “I remember falling and then just black. I must’ve been clinically dead for a few seconds, because they took my weapons but didn’t bother putting a bullet in my brain. When I woke up, there was pain.”
He said it so matter-of-fact.
“Most of me was broken. I couldn’t move my legs. There was so much pain and it was hot and white.” He raised his hands and made a spreading motion as if smoothing a blanket on the bed. “An endless ocean of it. I was on my back and decided to let myself drown. I failed and it hurt so much. I lay there, looking at the sky, waiting for my magic to give up, and I thought of you. It wasn’t anything deep or profound. I remembered your face and thought, I would really like to see her again. So, I turned over, passed out for a bit, and when I came to, I started crawling. Sometimes I’d black out, then I would come to, remember you, and crawl a little more. No, no, don’t cry for me.”
I realized heat wet my cheeks.
“Please,” he said, his voice quiet. “I don’t ever want to make you cry.”
I couldn’t stop. The tears just poured out. He’d crawled for hours, broken and in agony. If I could murder Arkan a hundred times, it would never make up for that.
Alessandro stopped talking. I brushed the tears from my face with my fingertips. “What happened then?”
“There is a field next to the factory. Eventually I crossed it. Someone saw me and called an ambulance. When I woke up in a hospital room, it hit me. I survived. I would see you again. I decided then that I wouldn’t waste this chance.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“It took me some time to recover. Walking was a problem for a while. Holding a fork too. I could grip it, but I couldn’t aim with it. I was training and thinking of what I would say to you. And keeping an eye on Arkan.”
“How?” As long as he kept talking about Arkan . . .
Alessandro smiled. It didn’t reach his eyes. “Arkan types like he wants to punch through the keys. He murders keyboards. His staff orders them in bulk, and I managed to swap one of mine into the lot. It goes dormant until he says specific words, so it’s practically invisible to his bug sweepers. Once a day it sends the recording to one of my email addresses. So I was listening to Arkan run his pack of killers, and then he mentioned your name on a phone call.”
Alessandro leaned forward, focused, cold, lethal. His magic whipped out of him, spilling into a dense, potent current. “I meant what I said, Catalina. I won’t let him touch you.”
“I know.” All of the tension, pain, and anger churned inside me. I couldn’t contain it any longer. I had to let it go or I’d explode.
“Your wings are out.”
My wings had unfurled, ghosting in and out of existence. My magic was leaking. We stared at each other, me with my almost transparent green-and-gold wings and him wrapped in a flow of his power.
“Your turn,” he said. “What did you promise Victoria?”
There was no room for lies on this roof.
“I gave you up,” I told him. My voice sounded flat. The more matter-of-fact I was about this, the easier it would be.
His eyebrows came together. “How?”
“You ran into Diatheke alone to save Runa’s brother and ended up teleporting to Benedict’s secret lab. Augustine was the only one who knew the location of it. I needed information to trade to him, so I went to see my grandmother. She gave me what I needed. In return, I promised her that I would never leave House Baylor. I will never marry into another family like my sister did, Alessandro. My family is my responsibility until I die.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I had this silly fantasy that you would fall in love with me. I knew your family would think I was beneath you, but in my stupid head, somehow it would all work out and we would live together happily ever after. Victoria took that away from me. I don’t regret it. I would’ve given her anything to find you.”
He was looking at me and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I just had to get through this. Once all of this was out and he left, I could let go and cry as much as I wanted.
“I was going to explain all of it to you, but you were already leaving. It crushed me that I meant so little.”
“Catalina—”
“Please let me finish. This is very difficult for me. When I thought about it, I realized that it was better that way. No messy rationalizations. No false promises. Anyway, there is nothing to be done. Even if Victoria dropped dead tomorrow, I would still stay here. I assumed the responsibility for my House. Nevada trusted me with it. I must see it through. I won’t let our family be torn to pieces by our enemies. I can’t.”
There. I’d said it. I’d gotten it all out before we had a chance to be together. Maybe it would hurt less this way.
“I understand,” he said.
“I know your family’s position on marriage. I read the press releases on your three engagements. Your family is looking for a woman from an established House, wealthy, respected, and able to dedicate herself to being the wife of Count Sagredo. I can’t be her.”
A shadow crossed his face. “What the hell does my family have to do with anything?”
“Your family will want you to return. You will leave again, and I’ll stay right here. It will be painful, but it will hurt worse when you marry, because then I’ll know there is no hope. I’ll never be the other woman. It’s all or nothing for me. I can’t have you for a little bit and give you up. I won’t share you.”
His magic was on fire, but he sounded almost cold. “I’m not leaving.”
I clamped my hands together. It helped me keep my voice from breaking. “I understand, Alessandro. You don’t have to lie to me. You don’t have to promise me platitudes to soothe me. I’m not a child.”
He leaped off the rail so fast, I barely saw it. Our magic collided in a sharp electric burst and he crushed me to him.
“I’m not leaving.” His voice was a ragged growl. “I tried, because I can offer you nothing and you deserve so much more. You deserve someone better, but I’m a selfish bastard and I can’t stay away. I can’t give you up.”
He pulled away from me long enough to look at my face. His amber eyes brimmed with magic. He leaned forward. I knew what was about to happen and waiting for it felt like dying. I couldn’t stand it. My body locked, rigid with anticipation. I couldn’t have taken a single step. It lasted less than a second, but it felt like forever.
He dipped his head and kissed me.
A firestorm raged through me, and suddenly I could move again. I threw my arms around him and kissed him back. I had to taste him, or the world would end.
He kissed me like it was the last kiss we would ever have, like I was dying, and he had to bring me back to life. His arms locked around me, his muscles hard like steel. His hand tangled in my hair. His tongue slid into my mouth. I licked him, dying for a taste, and he made this noise low in his throat that made me shiver.
He broke the kiss and longing swept through me like pain. I almost cried out.
His eyes were molten amber. All traces of pretense fled from him, leaving the real man in their place, focused, dangerous, and driven half-insane by a blinding, irresistible want.