“Mind you” — he grinned ironically — “there’s nothing particularly personal in this. Yes, I do like you, so far as I know you, and I admire you even more. Added to which, you’re cute as a button and can only get prettier. But — and I’m sure this won’t do your ego any good, and I’m sorry, but I’m not going to lie to you — under these circumstances any live, functional female would have the same effect.
Rollo paused again, fixed me with those earnest blue eyes. “So if, after due deliberation, you feel that my presence as a widely traveled, all-around experienced man-of-the-world, who has considerable background in dealing with the new wildlife problems, and my training as a doctor, would be of sufficient benefit to you in your travels to justify the cost, I’m yours — with all that implies: I’ll come with you, and stay as long as you want me to — for life if you choose — and fight and die for you if it comes to that, or for Adam — but only as your invited, wanted consort. And I’ll accept any reasonable timesharing arrangement with Adam that you might dictate.
“Nor will I insist on assuming leadership of the expedition, merely because I’m oldest and, therefore, presumptively the wisest. I’m not at all certain that I am wiser than you. More experienced, better educated, yes. And I’ll share it with you if you ask. But wiser? Insufficient data.
“Now, I would suggest to you that it is the right of every woman to establish the value of her consent. Every woman since Eve has. And I defy anyone to fault her for including practical considerations in the transaction. Down through the centuries numberless women have determined that a pledge of support, companionship, and security — which translates as ‘protection’ in primitive societies — for themselves, their children, and/or brothers and sisters, constituted a fair exchange. Many, if not most, assuming the man involved possessed even a vestigial sense of honor, lived happy, fulfilled lives. It was not uncommon for such women to come to love their partners in these marriages-of-convenience very much, and to find themselves ultimately quite satisfied with the bargain.”
Could see Adam out of corner of eye, face expressionless. Probably mentally kicking himself — wishing he had thought of this approach…!
“I’ll add one more thing; then I’ll shut up and abide by your decision,” said Rollo finally. “I’m good husband materiaclass="underline" I’m gentle, understanding, and thoughtful; and nothing makes me as happy as making my woman happy, in or out of bed. As a single husband, I made Sally happy; as Number Two of two, I’ll do my best to make you happy.
“As far as sex is concerned, if you come to me in good faith, you’ll enjoy yourself. That sounds conceited, I know, but it’s an honest opinion based on long experience — and if you don’t like it, after a fair trial, I won’t insist that you continue: That would eliminate half your attraction for me. And I’ll stay with you anyway, as long as you want me to. But I’m confident that you will enjoy it: My specialty was gynecology and sexual counseling — there’s very little that I don’t know about evoking and satisfying the female sexual response.”
Well! — how’s that for subtle…? Most outrageous proposition ever heard about, read, let alone encountered.
And how about “nothing personal” angle! Or “any live, functional” etc.!
(Though is better than being lied to. I suppose. Probably. Maybe. Hmm…)
Well, consider matter logically: Was gentleman about it, under what must be profoundly trying conditions (could have hit Adam over head, had me all to self [surely thought so anyway]). But fact did think so made genteel approach all the more commendable. Yes, Rollo basically good person; possessed most qualities prefer in friend. Plus versed in survival skills; knew way around life-in-wilderness; bumped heads in past with immigrant carnivores. And doctor — presence invaluable, if not downright critical, in situations all too easy to envision.
But hate logic…! What right had logic to butt in at time like this…? None — that’s what! Yes/no decision supposed to be matter of emotion alone, uninfluenced by crass realities. Logistics supposed to work themselves out afterward, as part of Happily-Ever-After scenario — everybody knows that…
However, “everybody” not faced with my problems, responsibilities. Nor this choice. Oh, dear, such difficult choice, too. If alone, would decline with thanks, without hesitation. But Adam to think of, with whom share Chinese obligation — mutual, true; but mutuality doesn’t discharge debt; if anything, reinforces.
Debated question from every angle. Weighed pros, cons. Reviewed argument in detail. Had to admit was tidy, matter-of-fact, economical, pragmatic — and eminently correct, however offensive correctness might be in this setting! Looked for out — looked hard. But while couldn’t quite bring self to agree with pat reasoning, neither could find anything to get teeth into to disagree, at least not legitimately.
Presently realized question not really debatable; not for conscientious, responsible partner. Benefits potentially accruing to Adam of having intelligent, experienced adult (and doctor) join expedition placed personal reluctance in perspective: a bargain; no other conclusion possible. After all, no big deal — every girl does it.
Just a question of when.
And with whom…
Well, having made decision, resolved to give it best shot. Simple question of equity: Rollo’s commitment total; pledged time, efforts, plus contributing wealth of knowledge, experience. Doubtless find life in jeopardy before events reach dénouement. Entitled to fair return on investment.
(Harbored no genuine doubt as to physical ability to deliver own side of transaction.)
And never once considered possible out offered by suggestion would lose interest if I didn’t enjoy. Cheap-shot evasion. Fair is fair; promise is promise. Would try to be as merrily enthusiastic a partner as fondly remembered Sally.
Maybe better…
(Oh-oh…! Occurred to me then [speaking of fair]: Could hardly accept Rollo’s attentions, continue to exclude Adam, whom had known longer, and of whom, by this time, was very fond.)
Took deep breath, released slowly to establish control over emotions, voice. Stood, took another deep breath, opened mouth…
And before could announce decision, became suddenly, shockingly, horribly moot. Rollo, bustling about kitchen, cleaning up after dinner, got too close to Terry’s stand. Twin’s head shot out, huge bill halves closed, chopping golf-ball-sized gobbet from left tricep, shirt sleeve and all. Bobbed head gleefully, eyes glinting in malicious triumph, as flung bloody mess across kitchen; then crouched, wings half-spread, red-splattered bill gaping wide, poised to strike again.
Rollo gasped, eyes widening in shock. Spun, roaring with pain, rage. Drew back fist — containing heavy iron frying pan…! Would crush fragile avian skeleton like eggshell — Rollo about to murder my baby brother!
“Time slowed” ancient cliché. But happens — and happened then: Suddenly everything happening in slow motion. Had ample time to study every tiny detail as situation developed. Enough time to notice sequential tensioning of Rollo’s muscles, starting with abdominal, then chest, neck, shoulder, upper arm, forearm, as lethal swing began, pan accelerated in arc toward helpless sibling. Time to notice Adam’s expression of growing horror; mouth slowly opening to shout warning, protest: “No-o — ”
Enough time to realize own body suddenly in motion. But without conscious volition; moving of own accord: Combat computer, conditioned-reflex matrix, engaged, in control. Mere passenger now in own body; relatively sluggish conscious mind powerless to interfere, alter outcome during next few milliseconds.