As Danny had surveyed the gunfight in the depot yard, many thoughts raced through his mind. Part of him would have been content letting Eddie and his brother die, but another part of him didn’t understand what would make men on the same side fight each other. He was afraid of backing the wrong dog in the fight, and he nearly decided to just walk away. But the intensity with which Eddie was pursuing them said this was more than just a murderous vacation for him. His resolve seemed rather atypical. By this point, he’d lost nearly all the men he’d started with, and yet he was still determined to take this to the end. He was willing to turn on his own army to prove whatever point it was he wanted to make in killing us. This couldn’t just be about that Markus guy. But what else had we done? What had America done to him for that matter? Or what did Eddie think America had done to him?
Danny kept going back to why he’d joined the military in the first place. He wanted to save lives, not take them. No matter how many times Eddie and his men had tried to kill us, and how many of his men we’d had to take out to survive, Danny still believed if you put him and Eddie in a room, just the two of them, he could convince the captain to see it his way. Now, to the other two in the truck, saving Lazzo didn’t seem like the right move—perhaps even more so to Blake, given his friend Nathan’s sacrifice.
Danny was well aware of their opinion and somewhat surprised Blake hadn’t vocally criticized him or the decision. He’d actually been remarkably quiet. Blake’s general awareness and unflappable presence of mind in the middle of all this insanity was not lost on Danny. Danny wasn’t great at apologies, but he tried. “Blake, I’m—”
“It’s not your fault, Danny,” Blake cut him off, placing his hand on Danny’s shoulder. “Not everything is going to go our way.”
Acknowledging Blake was right with a simple nod, Danny nonetheless voiced that they should have stayed out of it and just let Eddie and his brother die. There was no argument to those words. That’s probably what everyone else would have done. Still, deep in his heart, Danny believed his intentions had been right. Now he just hoped that would pay off at some point.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. The cold, heavy rain was wreaking havoc with the radar, and the screens in the truck were solid red, no other dots visible. Danny just unplugged it. They passed an enormous wall being built along the state line and had the same reaction as the rest of us. What the hell? They stopped in Wellington to fill up with gas, then at a small army surplus store in Fort Collins to restock on supplies. They found most of what they were looking for and a few bonuses: a tent, more sleeping bags, two inflatable rafts, dynamite, a harpoon gun, rope, packaged military food, wire, ammo, a dozen knives, and even four old-school Soviet winter white camo suits. It was definitely a worthwhile stop.
Danny, Wes and Blake cut across County Road 100 and nervously descended on the abandoned mine north of the reservoir. With great relief, they found us all safe, waiting for them. I got out of the truck when they pulled in, hopeful Tara would too, but she didn’t. I had a feeling I’d hurt her, and that sucked. That hadn’t been my intent at all. I’d just been too selfish. Yeah, I know… again. I was just trying to do the right thing by Sophie. Clearly, I had a great deal to learn about moving on after your wife dies.
Danny climbed out of the truck with a blanket in hand, and brushed past us. “Danny, what—” I started to follow him then saw Wes and Blake climb out and close their doors. Where was Nathan?
Hayley asked them for me. “Where’s Nathan?”
Blake just shook his head. Oh my… Wes and Blake explained what all had happened. They didn’t say anything about it being Danny’s decision, but I figured it had been. I get it now. I glanced over at him as he sat on the ground with his head between his knees. My paternal instincts kicked in, and I started to walk towards him, but Cameron grabbed my arm. “Don’t,” was all he said.
Cameron would know better than all of us what Danny needed at this point. I nodded reluctantly, and slowly turned back to Wes and Blake as they continued with the story. It was a tough blow, losing Nathan like we did—I felt like we barely got to know him. But it was clear by the way Blake spoke of him that he’d been a great guy—a funny, friendly guy. Blake had to choke back the emotions several times. This sucked. We were quite fortunate, and certainly grateful that the rest of us were still safe, but Nathan would be missed. Danny was lying on his blanket now—eyes closed—but I knew he was awake, listening to the rain and probably pretty deep in thought. For the first time on the trip, some serious questions were being raised about his ability to make the best decisions for the group. Fair or not, Danny wasn’t objecting to the questions or defending himself. There was a good chance even he didn’t believe he’d done the right thing now, but he wouldn’t have done it in the first place if it hadn’t seemed right then. It was hard, but he had to trust himself. We all had to keep trusting him.
I knew from experience the waves of self-doubt were hard to paddle through. He made a judgment call, and it was done, but I knew if saving Eddie ended up costing any of our lives, Danny would never forgive himself. A lesser man would’ve never even had the courage to put his convictions before his own life. But sometimes those convictions lead to loss and failure. Sometimes right is wrong. It was a lot of pressure for a twenty year old. We all had to help him get through this. The alternative would be devastating to all of us.
Meanwhile, Eddie drove down to Highway 34 to scout out the entrance to the mountains before circling back to the southern end of Horsetooth Reservoir. He watched as a lone vehicle appeared from the north on his screen and came to rest barely four miles away. He wasn’t too worried about it. His screen didn’t flash, as it would have if the other vehicle had any form of radar. Since he was pretty sure the Americans had some form of radar, he was confident this one vehicle wasn’t theirs. His men were already mostly asleep, but he had too much on his mind to allow himself similar rest. The precision of their rescue by the unknown soldiers had been eerie. Every shot a kill shot. No bullets wasted. He never saw so much as a shadow of them. And then that voice speaking English. That hadn’t sounded African, or Chinese, or anything other than American. And why did their rescuers help them and then leave? Did they not expect anything in return? He watched the single red dot on the screen gradually fade out as it cooled and then disappeared altogether. Eddie glanced at his watch and then pulled his hat down over his eyes. A few hours rest would serve him well.
Danny had always wanted to live in the Pacific Northwest. Ideally in a small coastal town. He loved the ocean, and rain didn’t usually bother him, but it was definitely bothering him now. The temperature was still slightly above forty, but if cold air was moving through the mountains, all that rain could quickly turn to snow. If there was a lot of moisture in the air, as there seemed to be, that could amount to an awful lot of snow. If they drove up the valley, ran into snow, and got stuck…well, if anyone was following them, there’d be no way out. He’d been through this scenario a hundred times in his head already, but now, less than thirty miles from Estes Park, he was afraid the nightmare was playing out above us. As much as he wanted to stay here for a day and allow us to rest, he didn’t know if we could afford it. Everyone but Wes and I had gone to sleep. I watched Danny sit up and approach us. “What are you thinking?” he asked us. I was trying not to think about Tara, but as a result I couldn’t think of anything else. Since I couldn’t sleep, I was trying to keep Wes company and watch her truck at the same time.