“This sucks,” Danny said, and Hayley laughed. Danny even smiled. Then he looked at us. “We’ve gotta make it there. All the way. We need to do it for Mom. And now we’ve got to do it for Cameron.” Exactly the resolve I was hoping for in my son.
“We will, Dan,” Hayley replied, patting his knee and then turning to look at me. “Right Dad?”
I nodded. “Yeppers.” What else could I say?
Hayley laughed again. “Idiot.” She smiled.
Yeppers, indeed.
After most of us had gone to bed, I watched Danny get up and put his heavy black jacket on. He walked over to the table by the tunnel and grabbed a ski pole and the American flag. He put the flag in his backpack, walked up the tunnel, and stepped out onto the ledge.
I waited a minute before sliding out from under Tara’s arm, grabbing my own jacket, and following him. When I reached the ledge, he was already on the other side of it, scaling the far wall. With the soldiers gone, Blake had left the rope up. Danny climbed it with ease and continued up the mountain’s face behind us. I stepped back inside and grabbed my gloves and a rifle, then returned to the ledge. I cautiously sidestepped my way across to the far wall. I was trying not to look down or slip. A fall meant probable death, but I had to know what Danny was doing.
I slung the rifle over my shoulder and was halfway up the far wall when one of the stakes came loose. The rope swung outward and I lost my footing. I frantically grabbed onto the only rock near me and tried to find a foothold somewhere but without luck. I looked up, desperately seeking another handhold for a better grip as a hand suddenly reached down.
I grabbed the hand, and Danny helped me up. Talk about strength. “You could’ve just asked to come along, you know. It’s not like you’re all that quiet,” he chided, as I tried to regain my composure and catch my breath. “Man, you can be stupid sometimes.”
I deserved that.
“Listen… Dad,” he said softly. I listened. “This isn’t the time to talk about this, but I’ve been really hard on you for a long time. And you deserved a lot of it, but you were better to Mom in the end than I ever gave you credit for. I should have believed you a long time ago. It just took a while.”
I understood. He looked like he wanted to say more but couldn’t find the words. “Look. I’m proud of you,” Danny continued. “Mom would be too. Tara is great for you. I like her a lot. But now… I don’t mind if you sit here and watch me, but I need to do this on my own.” He pointed up the mountain, indicating he was going to climb to the top.
I nodded. I understood again. “Got it. Thanks, Danny.”
He thumped me in the chest with a gloved hand. “Don’t fall off the cliff, okay?” he said with a trace of a smile, and then he turned his back on me and began climbing up Bighorn Mountain.
I followed him as far as I needed in order to see the top clearly, and then watched Danny through the scope as he finished the climb. When he reached the summit, he took the American flag from his backpack and tied it to the ski pole. He embedded the makeshift flagpole in the ground and looked down at the valley below him.
We had a full moon that night, a huge white snowball hanging over Horseshoe Park, turning the snowfields into shimmering crystal blankets. I could only imagine what it looked like from where Danny stood, but to be honest, he probably didn’t notice. He had one thing on his mind.
“Wish you were still here, Cam,” Danny whispered hoarsely. “I miss you, man.” He looked up at the stars, blinking back tears—shaking his head—as the flag began waving gently in the breeze.
“I’m really gonna miss you.”
PART III
SIXTY-SIX: (Ryan) “Spring Forward”
Trail Ridge Road typically opens the last week or so of May. It usually takes the plows almost an entire month to clear the road all the way out. I always used to think that was crazy. Now I wished it took longer. The road opened the first week of May this year. That complicated things for us—greatly. On May 5, there were already troops in the valley, and they were everywhere. We had been trying to pool our “wishful thinking” into hoping they permanently went away.
It didn’t work. There was no magical rebirth of America. We were still only halfway to our goal, and we knew we’d be facing an army of energized soldiers who hadn’t had many, if any, Americans to kill in months. They’d be starving for action. It was going to get that much harder to move, that much harder to hide…that much harder to survive.
We hadn’t put Christmas lights up for Christmas. There was no Mannheim Steamroller, no Carrie Underwood, no synchronized “Carol of the Bells.” But we did have a makeshift tree, plenty of snow, and a sky full of stars. The presence of children made it mandatory for the rest of us to follow through with a few traditions, and honestly, it did bring a little joy to our world. As we sat around on Christmas Eve listening to Dad read the Christmas story from the Bible, I couldn’t help but feel like we could all somehow relate better to it now. Ours wasn’t quite as primitive as the original Christmas—car travel sure beat camels—and no angel had appeared to any of us in a dream with a safe way out. Yet. But I could imagine how frightened Mary and Joseph must have been, and how hard it had to have been to have faith.
We were a shaken group at that point. Still are. We were putting on a good face for the kids, but not one of us was confident about our chances from here on. We weren’t going to let that ruin Christmas though. Danny, Blake, and I had snuck into town one day and picked up a few presents for everyone, hid them in the woods, and then surprised everyone on Christmas morning. It was well worth the effort.
Danny gave Jenna the ring Cameron had been intending to propose to her with. She cried. A lot of us did. Did I say us? She put it on her necklace and wore it proudly around her neck now. We definitely missed the kid, but we all coped okay. Even Jenna managed to move on.
We cooked our first meat meal on Christmas Day. We even had wild turkey. It was the best meal we’d had in months. Danny killed another mountain lion in late January. Who knows what that stupid cat was thinking coming anywhere near him? Groundhog Day came and went on February 2 and we actually missed hearing about the Pennsylvania rodent.
If Punxsutawney Phil had any common sense, he’d stay in his hole this year.
We found and “borrowed” the Bill Murray movie on another Estes Park excursion. It provided a few more needed laughs, and we couldn’t help but be collectively thankful we wouldn’t have to live this experience over again. And again. And again. And… never mind.
The second week of March Danny, Blake, and Sam went out to the base of Old Fall River Road and dug it out. They planted explosives under the road and caved it in. As a result, the plows stayed off the road below us, even when they did start coming into the valley. It bought us extra time, and we knew they wouldn’t be able to fix it until they had a streak of good weather.
Right now they seemed to view the cave-in as a natural occurrence and weren’t worried about using the road. As an added bonus, it also kept them from re-opening, and repopulating, the Endovalley campsite. We hoped to be gone before they could fix the road, so when we did move out we wouldn’t have to be looking over our shoulder all the way to the Alpine Visitor Center. It was going to be enough of a slick and treacherous ten-mile climb as it was. Even American plow drivers never cleared that road all the way up. The enemy wouldn’t think of attempting it. There’s no rail. No safety. Way too much risk.