"I never thought Teddy would turn me down cold like that," he growled. "I suppose he feels himself too big to have Stovepipe Town for groomsman."
Then Emily did her dreadful thing... before she realized what she was saying, in her impatient annoyance with Perry for casting such aspersions on Teddy the words leaped out quite involuntarily.
"You goose. It wasn't Teddy at all. Do you think Ilse would have YOU as groomsman... when she hoped for years you would be the groom?"
The moment she had spoken she stood aghast, sick with shame and remorse. What had she done? Betrayed friendship... violated confidence... a shameful, unpardonable thing. Could SHE, Emily Byrd Starr of New Moon, have done THIS?
Perry was standing by the dial staring at her dumbfounded.
"Emily, you don't mean that. Ilse never thought of me that way, did she?"
Emily miserably realized that the spoken word could not be recalled and that the mess she had made of things couldn't be mended by any fibs.
"She did... at one time. Of course she got over it long ago."
"ME! Why, Emily, she always seemed to despise me... always ragging me about something... I never could please her... you remember."
"Oh, I remember," said Emily wearily. "She thought so much of you, she hated to see you fall below her standard. If she hadn't... liked you... do you suppose she would have cared what grammar you used or what etiquette you smashed? I should never have told you this, Perry. I shall be ashamed of it all my life. You must never let her suspect you know."
"Of course not. Anyhow, she's forgotten it long ago."
"Oh... yes. But you can understand why it wouldn't be especially agreeable for her to have you as best man at her wedding. I hated to have you think Teddy such a snob. And now, you won't mind, will you, Perry, if I ask you to go? I'm very tired... and I've so much to do the next two weeks."
"You ought to be in bed, that's a fact," agreed Perry. "I'm a beast to be keeping you up. But when I come here it seems so much like old times I never want to go. What a set of shavers we were! And now Ilse and Teddy are going to be married. We're getting on a bit."
"Next thing you'll be a staid old married man yourself, Perry," said Emily, trying to smile. "I've been hearing things."
"Not on your life! I've given up that idea for good. Not that I'm pining after you yet in particular... only nobody has any flavour after you. I've tried. I'm doomed to die a bachelor. They tell me it's an easy death. But I've got a few ambitions by the tail and I'm not kicking about life. Bye-bye, dear. I'll see you at the wedding. It's in the afternoon, isn't it?"
"Yes." Emily wondered she could speak so calmly of it. "Three o'clock... then supper... and a motor drive to Shrewsbury to catch the evening boat. Perry, Perry, I wish I hadn't told you that about Ilse. It was mean... mean... as we used to say at school... I never thought I could do such a thing."
"Now, don't go worrying over that. I'm as tickled as a dog with two tails to think Ilse ever thought that much of me, at any time. Don't you think I've sense enough to know what a compliment it was? And don't you think I understand what bricks you two girls always were to me and how much I owe you for letting me be your friend? I've never had any illusions about Stovepipe Town or the real difference between us. I wasn't such a fool as not to understand THAT. I've climbed a bit... I mean to climb higher... but you and Ilse were BORN to it. And you never let me feel the difference as some girls did. I shan't forget Rhoda Stuart's dirty little slurs. So you don't think I'd be such a cur now as to go strutting because I've found out Ilse once had a bit of a fancy for me... or that I'd ever let her think I knew? I've left that much of Stovepipe Town behind, anyhow... even if I still have to think what fork I'll pick up first. Emily... DO you remember the night your Aunt Ruth caught me kissing you?"*
*See Emily Climbs.
"I should think I do."
"The only time I ever did kiss you," said Perry non-sentimentally. "And IT wasn't much of a shot, was it? When I think of the old lady standing there in her nightgown with the candle!"
Perry went off laughing and Emily went to her room.
"Emily-in-the-glass," she said almost gaily, "I can look you squarely in the eyes again. I'm not ashamed any longer. He DID love me."
She stood there smiling for a little space. And then the smile faded.
"Oh, if I had only got that letter!" she whispered piteously.
Chapter XXV
I
Only two weeks till the wedding. Emily found out how long two weeks can be, in spite of the fact that every waking moment was crowded with doings, domestic and social. The affair was much talked of everywhere. Emily set her teeth and went through with it. Ilse was here... there... everywhere. Doing nothing... saying much.
"About as composed as a flea," growled Dr. Burnley.
"Ilse has got to be such a restless creature," complained Aunt Elizabeth. "She seems to be frightened people wouldn't know she was alive if she sat still a moment."
"I've got forty-nine remedies for seasickness," said Ilse. "If Aunt Kate Mitchell gets here I'll have fifty. Isn't it delightful to have thoughtful relatives, Emily?"
They were alone in Ilse's room. It was the evening Teddy was expected. Ilse had tried on half a dozen different dresses and tossed them aside scornfully.
"Emily, WHAT will I wear? Decide for me."
"Not I. Besides... what difference does it make what you put on?"
"True... too true. Teddy never notices what I have on. I like a man who DOES notice and tells me of it. I like a man who likes me better in silk than in gingham."
Emily looked out of the window into a tangled garden where the moonlight was an untroubled silver sea bearing softly on its breast a fleet of poppies. "I meant that Teddy... won't think of your dress... only of YOU."
"Emily, why do you persist in talking as if you thought Teddy and I were madly in love with each other? Is it that Victorian complex of yours?"
"For heaven's sake, shut up about things Victorian!" Emily exclaimed with unusual, un-Murray-like violence. "I'm tired of it. You call every nice, simple, natural emotion Victorian. The whole world to-day seems to be steeped in a scorn for things Victorian. Do they know what they're talking of? But I like sane, decent things... if THAT is Victorian."
"Emily, Emily, do you suppose Aunt Elizabeth would think it either a sane or decent thing to be madly in love?"
Both girls laughed and the sudden tension relaxed.
"You're not off, Emily?"
"Of course I am. Do you think I'd play gooseberry at such a time as this?"
"There you go again. Do YOU think I want to be shut up alone a whole evening with undiluted Teddy. We'll have a scene every few minutes over something. Of course scenes are lovely. They brighten up life so. I've just got to have a scene once a week. You know I always did enjoy a good fight. Remember how you and I used to scrap? You haven't been a bit of good at a row lately. Even Teddy is only half-hearted in a set-to. Perry, now... HE could fight. Think what gorgeous rows Perry and I would have had. Our quarrels would have been splendid. Nothing petty... or QUARRELSOME... about them. And how we would have loved each other between them! O-hone-a-rie!"