That would be tonight. But for now, they were pretending to conduct business as usual at FOES headquarters. They were all here, except for that Remo person, who had not been seen since an unauthorized intruder had interrupted their first encounter two nights before. Amanda said that Remo had probably gotten lost in the woods and that he wasn't important because "he was only a man." Ethel didn't see what that had to do with anything; Remo seemed rather attractive. Especially the way he walked. But then, he had claimed to have had a close encounter with a penguin, and nothing had been said about penguins ever since, so maybe Remo didn't matter after all.
So excited was Ethel Sump that she didn't notice the old Oriental gentleman until he had entered the reception area, despite not having been buzzed in.
"Tell whoever is in charge of this place that an important personage has come to see him," said the old man. He couldn't be more than five feet tall or weigh more than 90 pounds, yet he spoke with greater authority than Ethel's old high school principal.
"What important person?" she asked.
"The Master of Sinanju."
"I never heard of you," Ethel said, looking skeptically at the embroidered front of the Oriental's teal blue kimono and wondering if he wasn't one of those cultists looking for a donation.
"I am a personal emissary from your Emperor Smith."
"Emperor Smith? Is he FOES?"
"No, he is friend. He runs your country secretly. I work for him. Defending the Constitution."
"I see," said Ethel, who didn't see at all. "Just a minute." She flicked on the intercom, and in response to Amanda Bull's barked "What is it?" said, "There's an old gentleman here. He seems kind of confused."
"I am not confused, stupid bovine," Chiun snapped. "I am here about the USOs."
"Huh?"
"The lights in the sky. My son, Remo, has seen them."
At the mention of the name Remo over the intercom, Amanda Bull said, "Both of you wait a minute."
"The Master of Sinanju does not wait," Chiun said, and popped the door to Amanda's office off its hinges with a seemingly gentle push of the flat of his hand. The door fell forward, and the Master of Sinanju stepped over it, unconcerned.
"Um... how did you do that?" Amand asked in a tight voice as she came to the doorway.
"With my hand. I am the Master of Sinanju."
"That's right," Ethel put in. "I saw it. He just touched the door and it fell."
Amanda Bull looked at Chiun, then Ethel, and then back at Chiun again as if she suspected them of working together to trick her. Then she remembered that the old Oriental had called Remo Greeley his son, and it was obvious he could not be related to Remo, whom she vaguely suspected of being a spy.
"All right," she said firmly. "Now what's this all about?"
"I am here to make contact," Chiun said flatly, his thin arms folded. "It is important."
"Why?"
"Because it is important to my village. My village knows of these USOs," Chiun said.
"UFOs, not USOs," Amanda corrected.
"I think he wants to join FOES," Ethel whispered. She decided that he might be a confused old man, but he was a likable confused old man.
"No, I want to be friends," Chiun corrected, wondering if all American women were idiots, or just the two in this room.
"Hmmm," Amanda said, pacing the room. The old man might be a spy, too. If he was, the World Master would have to know about this, but Amanda had no way of contacting him except at prearranged times and places.
"If I promise to help you make contact, will you promise to help us tonight?" Amanda asked, thinking about how easily the door had been demolished and how handy that ability might come in tonight.
"Help you with what?"
"We are going on a mission tonight to bring peace to the world."
"A goal many have sought," Chiun said. "How many will you kill to achieve it?"
"No violence," Amanda said. "This mission was given us by a being from the UFO. Once this task is done, we will meet with him again. And you may come with us."
"Done," said Chiun. "But first, tell me all about this UFO. What does it look like? Does it bring wisdom?"
"It sure does," put in Ethel Sump. "I've been a better person since I had my first encounter."
"I can see that," said Chiun, watching her plump body jiggle with excitement.
"Come on, then," Amanda ordered, having arranged for the old Chinaman, or whatever he was, to tag along until she could turn him over to the World Master. "We've got to get cracking. What did you say your name was?"
"Chiun, reigning Master of Sinanju."
"We'll just call you Chiun for short."
* * *
It made no sense to the Master of Sinanju. He, along with the other members of FOES, which consisted of five loud women and three untrained men, had journeyed some distance and were now trudging through an Oklahoma field where the wheat waved in golden rows under a clear night sky.
They were on a farm. But they were not here to attack the farm, the blonde woman with the ugly hair on the bridge of her nose had informed Chiun. They were here to destroy something that threatened the peace of the world. Everyone except Chiun carried weapons, and they carried them clumsily, as if unfamiliar with their use. They wore dark clothing and moved like arthritic cats. Amateurs.
"Who has trained you people?" Chiun asked as they walked.
"Our friend from the UFO," Amanda said.
This seemed to disturb Chiun. "How long have you been training?"
"Only since two nights ago. Except for me. I've been at it for about a week."
"Not enough time," Chiun said under his breath. Aloud, he asked, "And you were provided with these weapons?"
"No, I got them myself. I wanted to use some of the weapons the World Master brought with him, but he said they were too dangerous for humans to use. Too bad. We could do better work with his disintegrating rays— or whatever they were. "
"You would do better with no weapons at all."
"Are you crazy?" Amanda asked loudly. Then, "There it is," she hissed. Down, everybody. Let's size up the situation."
Everyone dropped flat except Chiun. In the middle of the farm, there was a fenced-off rectangle, which appeared to be empty.
"What is that?" Chiun asked.
"It's a missile silo," Ethel Sump whispered breathlessly. "But how do we get through that fence? It's awful tall."
"How do you think?" said Amanda, digging something out of her backpack. "I brought wire cutters."
"I see no silo," Chiun pointed out.
"That's because it's underground," Amanda said. "See that dark shape? It's the silo cover. The missile is underneath, and somewhere around here is an underground control center. We've got to destroy the missile so it can't fly and kill millions of people."
"Your goal would be better undertaken with worthy tools, not wire cutters and muskets," Chiun said.
Amanda gave Chiun's skinny frame a frosty stare. "I suppose you brought some worthy tools with you?"
"Yes," Chiun said, raising his forearms like a surgeon offering his hands to be gloved by a nurse. "Remain here. I will get us through the fence."
"Wait a minute. I'm in charge here!"
But Chiun had already floated off toward the fence. He resembled a silk handkerchief in his blue kimono, one that a strange wind blew along the ground. Chiun drifted first one way, then another, and although all eyes tried to trace his path, he became lost in the darkness long before anyone saw him reach the fence.
Chiun examined the fence. It was of chain link and derived its strength from the interlocked vertical lengths of wire anchored to the four support poles. It could be attacked two ways: by uprooting a pole, which would collapse two sides of the fence, or by attacking any one of the links. Chiun decided upon the latter approach, because it was philosophically purer to destroy a fence through its weak links.