If someone was in despair and suicidal, who knows? With their mind in turmoil, this distance might fly by. Or it might be the longest walk of their life — which for Myla it surely was in every sense. In life, she hardly went outside. Seeking death, she crossed most of Rome. It seemed she knew where people went for the purpose. It was the Pons Aemilius, from which so many have fatally cast themselves into the brown Tiber waters.
We were too late.
As we approached, we could make out the body. Boatmen or wharfingers must have dragged her out, so she was now lying under the celebratory arch erected by Augustus. Up above, the inscription proclaiming how that emperor had devotedly rebuilt this ancient bridge; below, the dripping corpse of a non-citizen. Nobody bothers to read the plaque. Nobody bothered with the corpse. People were walking past on their way to the meat market or Tiber Island, barely noticing the scene. Secundus and Dromo were there. Hardly anybody else stopped to look. It was just a dead slave.
I knew better than to blame myself, though I cursed my failure last night to see her desperation. I knew she was angry and bitter and probably afraid. I could not see her despair. Perhaps I failed to look for it. I should have done.
Myla must have been so used to showing impassivity, she could hide her feelings even when she was asked to explain them. Thank goodness, I did give her an opportunity. This may be your last chance … now is the time to tell me …
No use.
Secundus, who had wept with frustration at his failure to stop the tragedy, rushed up to Myrinus, gripping his friend’s shoulders, talking rapidly in a harsh foreign language: Punic. I recognised it from the Mythembals, neighbours of mine at Fountain Court. Myrinus let him talk, but translated scraps for me. ‘They only caught up here … She was on the parapet … They could not prevent her …’
I thought of the baby. Had the child been bowled away in the current, unseen by rescuers? Then I saw: Dromo was holding her. He stood white-faced, speechless, with the little bundle grasped between the spread fingers of both hands. He looked terrified of dropping her.
‘He got it,’ Secundus said, changing into Latin as he saw me look. ‘He got it off the mother. He saved its life.’ I made a small gesture, offering to take her, in case Dromo wanted to be relieved. He was as yet unable to relinquish his responsibility.
Then the child upset him by beginning to cry, that forceful, endless, new baby wailing. She was less than two weeks old. She had so little hope of survival without a mother, most people would say it would have been better if the baby had died as well. Not me. I shall never have the luxury of condemning an abandoned child. I was one once myself.
Had her mother even given her a name? Someone else would do that. Even if Myla had chosen one, none of us knew it.
We did not have to wait there long. Authority swept into action. Tragedies happened regularly at the Aemilian Bridge. Arrangements to remove the corpse were swift. Without us being aware anyone had sent for them, men in red tunics, ringing a bell, scampered up like a troop of dwarves in a theatre. Synchronised and determined, they dragged off the body, using their traditional ropes and hooks. It was the same as the removal of dead gladiators in an arena. It is not meant to be respectful. Such carcases are taken away like dead animals. I could not look. Pedestrians merely stepped aside to let them through, then carried on walking along the Marble Embankment.
Well, that man Fundanus had told me: the funeral director. A slave suicide must be removed from the city within one hour. You have to prevent pollution by contact with those who are less than human.
At least Myla would be spared the use of cruel implements to make her tell the so-called truth. For what it was worth, she had ‘confessed’ already. I felt doubtful. Confessing to a crime whilst under the burden of unbearable despair had about as much validity as confessing under torture, surely? It was some sort of cry of pain — but not one I trusted. Still, in theory, my case was solved. Myla killed those people. She had said so.
She had left me with few ways to test her claim. Was this what she intended? I was certain of one thing; if Myla did not kill them herself, then she damn well knew who did.
46
Dromo squatted on the kerb, still clutching the baby. I crouched down by him.
‘Aargh — she’s done something!’
‘They do … hand her to me, Dromo.’
He could not give her over fast enough now. I sat the baby on my knees, holding her fragile torso, surveying her. She seemed so surprised, she stopped crying. She wore a tiny tunic that seemed to be made from a floorcloth, and a fibre bracelet that looked like a pulled thread from a different garment.
‘Oh, little one! You may grow up to be a beauty, and let us hope you do, but at this moment you are all milky pooh and snot — and far from pretty. I am your sister in misfortune and I tell you, sweetheart, this is where you start out on your own. The good thing is that every day you live through, every gain you ever make, will be better than the absolute nothing you possess today.’
I saw Dromo looking at me in wonder.
‘You want to know what I am talking about, Dromo? Well, my dear, this is a sad story, but I will tell you. You must decide for yourself if it had a happy ending … When I was a baby myself, in faraway Britannia, the native tribes had a terrible grievance so they rose up in rebellion. They burned Roman cities and massacred their inhabitants. I was found all alone, not much bigger than this child, screaming in the ashes of a half-built town called Londinium.’
‘Where were your parents?’
‘Dead, for certain.’
‘Killed by the barbarians? Did they just leave you behind or had they dropped you by accident?’
‘Those who found me always said I had been hidden carefully.’
‘What happened to you after?’
‘People took me in, because finding a live baby when all around had been destroyed and burnt seemed like a miracle.’
‘How did you come here?’
‘The first people were no good in the end. Better, more generous people one day became my Roman family.’
‘So whose baby were you?’
‘No idea.’
‘Don’t you want to know?’
‘There is no way I shall ever find out.’
‘Are you going to have her?’ Dromo then demanded gruffly, indicating Myla’s baby. I could tell he really thought I would. I suppose to him it seemed obvious.
‘I never take in strays.’
Even a puppy would be too much for me, and I like dogs. Plenty had given me entreating eyes, even dogs of obvious character. But I was realistic. Tied to a baby I stood no chance.
When I was much younger I might have taken this poor tot home to Mother, but I now realised what a burden that would be. Helena Justina would do it if I pleaded; she would do it out of love for me. That didn’t mean it was right to ask her.
‘Understand, Dromo, the baby is not mine to adopt. She is an orphan, yet she is a slave − which makes her someone else’s property. Taking her would be theft.’
The innocent boy really wanted to believe he had saved the child for a decent life. ‘If she is worth money, they will look after her?’
‘I dare say.’ I had already heard this babe being discussed by her owners, so I had doubts. She was Aviola’s daughter: posthumous, and damned by his legitimate heirs.
We clambered to our feet, with Secundus, Myrinus and Fauna, preparing to leave.
‘I never saw somebody die, right in front of me,’ Dromo announced. He was white-faced, needing to share his shock.