Janet beamed. "Oh, is that all you want to know? Have another cup of coffee, Peter, and I'll explain it all to you."
These words brought a hearty laugh from all of us. When it had finally subsided, Janet looked as if she were deep in thought. Then she excitedly said, "Eric, I'm thinking about what you said about thought and our social structures. To elaborate on that premise, even our religions have to be a product of our thinking. As a matter of fact, all institutions of learning have to be a product of humanity's thoughts. Even our own profession has to be a product of personal ideas and beliefs."
"That is absolute rubbish," Tom declared. "Our thoughts are created from and directly linked to our childhood environment and the environment we live in now. We certainly don't have much control over that."
"To be truthful with you," I said soothingly, "I was taught just the same as you were. But I have a very strong suspicion that what Andy is saying is beyond what we were taught at university. I still fail to see the deeper application of Thought as Andy describes it, but his unique ideas have certainly given me a lot to ponder. I tell you, when Mrs. Taylor transformed in front of my eyes, I asked my associate to see her—and he was just as perplexed by her response as I was. Naturally, at the beginning, both of us dismissed the whole episode as temporary and superficial."
Tom asked me if my partner now uses this "thought theory" in his practice.
"Most definitely, and he gets wonderful results," I replied. "Not only that, his personal life and his marriage have changed dramatically; he's a different man. I've never seen him so happy. He says his family life is better than it's ever been. All I can say is, the more he realized the connection between Thought and his own life, the more understanding he became of others. Remember the old saying, 'Physician, heal thyself? Well, that's exactly what happened!"
With a puzzled smile on his face, Peter shook his head from side to side. "Come on, Eric—how is that possible?"
Janet jumped into the conversation. "I'm starting to understand why Eric gave up some of the techniques that we have all employed from time to time. My experiences with techniques have been similar to yours, Eric. They seldom appeared to work for any of the groups I led, or for any other group I attended."
Smiling sheepishly, Peter bowed his head. "Janet, listening to your confession about techniques brings back recent memories I'd rather forget."
"Come on, Peter, what are you embarrassed about, and why do you have that inane grin on your face?" Janet teased.
With a visible effort, Peter altered his grin to a look of extreme solemnity, then explained that a couple of years prior he had been working with a group of people, teaching them the importance of being assertive. "I used assertiveness training techniques with one man who wished to ask his boss for a raise. This particular client felt he was too insecure to even raise the subject, so I gave him my four-day assertiveness special. After a few training sessions, he finally found the courage to confront his boss. Armed to the teeth with all his newfound assertiveness training techniques, my patient had no fear in facing his boss and demanding his raise—thanks to yours truly, Dr. Peter Richards."
"Did he get his raise?" asked Janet.
"No, he got fired," Peter murmured.
"Are you serious?" Janet shrieked. "You must be pulling our legs!"
"Surely you're joking?" Tom snorted.
"No, I'm entirely serious," Peter sighed. "The guy got fired. His boss told him there was no place in his organization for the sort of arrogant and aggressive person my client appeared to be."
At this point Janet completely lost control of her laughter and sprayed a mouthful of coffee all over the floor. Even Tom was laughing and pointing his finger at Peter. "That's a good one," he chuckled.
"All I can say is, I did the very best I could," Peter concluded. "I guess it's always easier in hindsight to see what should have been done."
"Or what should not have been done!" Janet remarked. "That poor man! What worries me is that a good many of those exercises are making a comeback, simply because we haven't found anything better to replace them. Generally speaking, it has been my experience as a marriage counselor that when love and compassion are missing in a marriage, the relationship is bound to fracture regardless of what techniques may be applied. If people could only get their egos out of the way and start to care for one another instead of fighting over who's wrong and who's right, there would be far better marriages around the world."
"You're far too much of a romantic, Janet," Tom interjected. "You're not looking at reality! A good fight is often quite healthy for a marriage."
Janet completely ignored Tom's sarcastic remark. "I wonder if Andy is married," she mused.
"I believe he did once mention a wife— named Emily, I think," I answered, wondering what was on Janet's mind.
"Oh, I'd love to meet her," Janet said. "I was extremely impressed by Andy's conviction that if people are encouraged to hold on to old grudges and negative memories, there would be little chance of ridding themselves of the negative feelings and emotions they carry. Come to think of it, it sounds like something my parents would say, and they always had plenty of plain, old-fashioned common sense. I bet Andy and his wife do, too. It really struck home for me when Andy said there was far too little forgiveness in many of the psychological concepts that are widely accepted."
"Why do you think he said that?" Peter asked earnestly.
"I think he means that when you spend your mental energy constantly going back into the past to blame someone, then there isn't much room in your head or your heart for forgiveness," she replied.
We all sat thoughtfully for a moment. "You know, Eric," Janet said, "I would love to talk to you in more depth. Your clinic's success fascinates me. I feel envious, and the way you talk, it sounds to me like the atmosphere at your clinic is dramatically different from that at the place where I work. I don't think I can put up with all the bickering that goes on at my office much longer. Every day our staff are at each others’ throats. Each day is like going into a war zone."
"It's interesting you should say that, Janet," I replied. "Just last week my associates and I were talking about hiring another therapist. Maybe you should consider working with us."
"Are you kidding?" she exclaimed. "I'd love to. I would start tomorrow!"
"Tell you what—give me a call when you get back and we can get together and discuss it."
"Eric, you have just made my day!" Janet beamed.
Chapter 11
Rediscovering Mind and Soul
It was Friday morning. A particularly well-known therapist, Dr. Turner, who ran a highly successful live-in care facility outside London, was scheduled to talk about positive thinking and its relationship to mental health.
Within minutes of Dr. Turner's beginning his lecture on the benefits of positive thinking, two therapists in the audience loudly disagreed with him. They claimed that quite often negative thinking was just a matter of facing up to reality. Like Tom, these two men insisted such thinking sometimes showed character—a view with which I disagreed completely.
As the meeting continued, so did the same old never-ending arguments. As usual, everyone had their own ideas and concepts of what was right and what was wrong.
At the morning break, my three colleagues and I sat over coffee and discussed the first few speakers, especially Dr. Turner, who was a dynamic and interesting presenter. He had displayed an incredibly optimistic attitude toward life, despite the number of interruptions he endured from the two London practitioners who had continually badgered him during his lecture.