"Although he said he loved his wife, the man just couldn't get his old girlfriend out of his mind. When he thought about this old girlfriend, he would withdraw from his wife and family with absurd ideas in his head about being married to 'second best.' Of course, their children were drawn into the unpleasantness. It was as if this man was blind, and for the life of me I couldn't understand his mentality. Regardless of how I tried to get him to recognize how much his adolescent crush on a now nonexistent teenager was ruining his marriage, he just couldn't see what he was doing to his family."
Peter commented, "That must have been an awful situation for his wife."
"It was one of the main reasons she came to see me," Janet agreed. "She had given up hope that their marriage would last much longer."
"What was the final outcome?" I asked.
"Shortly after they came to see me, her husband received an invitation to attend the 20th reunion of his graduating class. Needless to say, his wife was not thrilled, because her husband's old girlfriend would also be attending. Of course, you couldn't blame the poor woman one bit. I can only imagine what bleak emotions she must have experienced. She must have gone through hell.
"Although my client didn't realize it at the time, this was the turning point of her marriage. Apparently the husband got the shock of his life when he met his old sweetheart. She wasn't anything like he had remembered! And, although she was still a striking woman, she had turned out to be an obnoxious and overbearing boor who barely remembered him and seemed to enjoy making tasteless jokes at other people's expense.
"Returning home, my client's husband finally realized just how lucky he was to have such a faithful, loving and caring wife and such beautiful children. From then on, their marriage soared. To be sure, the marriage was being ruined by his thoughts of a long-gone romance that he only remembered as wonderful. I honestly never thought about this case again until I heard you talk about the power of Thought and the experiences Mrs. Taylor went through," Janet concluded.
Nodding, Peter said, "The more we discuss this Thought concept, the more intriguing it becomes. As a matter of fact, I think I could dig up a few examples myself, cases where my clients' thoughts have led them astray. When I get back home, it's going to be very interesting to investigate this phenomenon in more detail. I don't imagine this thought theory fits every case, but I suspect it may fill the prescription for quite a few people."
"I'm not swallowing all that nonsense the old gardener is peddling about thoughts," Tom snapped. "You people are deluding yourselves, and that old guy really bothers me."
Janet couldn't resist commenting, "Perhaps you're afraid that he knows something you don't."
"That's total nonsense," Tom snarled.
"Then why did you want to talk to the old gardener in the first place, if you didn't have at least a glimmer of hope that maybe he knew something worthwhile?" Janet queried.
"Sheer curiosity," Tom huffed.
"Sheer curiosity" Janet smiled. "Um-hmm!"
Chapter 14
The Illusionary Ego
The following morning, after a hearty English breakfast, Tom was going sightseeing at Warwick Castle with a couple of the other practitioners attending the conference, so Janet, Peter and I decided to look around the nearby hamlet of Bourton-on-the-Water.
When we arrived at the village, Janet displayed an abundance of enthusiasm, more than enough for all three of us put together. She continually exclaimed how exciting it was to be in a village that was so ancient. "Imagine," she would say, "we are walking around in a place that is so much older than the United States" and "just look at those gorgeous old stone buildings" and "I can't believe that some of the roofs are actually made of sliced stone" and "Isn't that view awe-inspiring?" Janet was typically a cheerful person, but I had never seen her quite so radiant and happy.
A gently flowing, stone-walled river ran through the town. Although shallow and narrow, the river supported a good-sized population of small fish and several different species of ducks. A group of children stood on the bank, having a wonderful time tossing feed to the birds. They squealed with delight as the ducks splashed back and forth, crowding to reach the latest offering of grain and upending to catch the food before it reached bottom.
We discovered that the stores, most of which were housed in beautiful old stone cottages, decidedly catered to tourists like ourselves. As we wandered from shop to shop, Janet found a few interesting things to buy for herself and for her parents, and of course we all collected a handful of the inevitable postcards.
Peter bought himself a flat, peaked English hat, which we were told was called a "caddie." All 6'2" of him strutted like a prize peacock, and he asked Janet again and again if he looked "English, pip, pip, and all that."
"Definitely," she replied and, with a lady-like curtsy, said, "Peter, if I didn't know any better, I'd take you for royalty. Apart from that, milord, you look positively handsome."
Beaming, Peter replied, "Wow! My ego just jumped up a few notches."
It was very obvious they were having just as good a time as I was. Peter's day was made complete when he found an antique car museum. For an absorbing three-quarters of an hour, we were taken back into the past by way of the automobiles and curios of days gone by.
After our tour of the museum, we found a charming little cafe, with outside tables, that had just opened for high tea. Sitting under a weeping willow tree, drinking tea and eating scones with clotted cream in such a picturesque English village, I had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. I couldn't imagine anything more delightful or restful.
Janet said there was no doubt in her mind that the tranquil feelings she was experiencing would fit Andy's definition of meditation.
The streets were packed with cars, and tourists milled about all over the town. Then, we were treated to an unexpected delight. Suddenly, from a little side lane, a herd of sheep, a shepherd and his two dogs appeared on the street in front of us. We wondered how the dogs could possibly control so many sheep under such difficult conditions. But control them they did, with such skill and agility that they were soon around the corner and out of sight without incident. It absolutely fascinated us. The thing that intrigued me most was the intelligence of the dogs. They obeyed every whistled command the shepherd gave, despite the many distractions of the tourist-filled town, and often used their own initiative to return a straying sheep to the flock.
By mid-afternoon the little town was host to every conceivable shape and size of person from all over the world; it was almost like attending a fashion show to see the splendid variety of clothing being worn by so many different types of people.
Like the United States, England in those days had its share of the people known as hippies, part of a youthful phenomenon that was spreading across the globe. While most people were content to accept the flower children as free spirits, Tom constantly grumbled about hippies, maintaining that the United States would collapse if some of these no-good, long-haired loafers didn't get jobs and help support the country. Like Tom, I was well beyond the age of most of these young people, but I found the whole movement very interesting and couldn't help but wonder about its worldwide development.
On the lawn fronting the river, some young people were dancing to the rhythm of guitars and flutes. Sometimes I secretly envied this younger generation the way they lived without constraints or inhibitions.