"That's what's new, buster, you and your nighttime romps," Ryan answered testily.
"It shouldn't come as a surprise," said Dex, losing her cool, "I've had the best teacher in the world. Just took a lesson from the master, that's all. As they say, two can play that game."
"Fuck!"
"Right. What about you? You get yourself licked good and…" Dex's sentence was cut short by Ryan. She picked the washcloth out of the water and threw it violently at Dex. The wet cloth landed on her neck then fell to her lap, soaking her.
"Well, congratulations, Dex. I take it this is the first time for you." Dex controlled her anger, picking up the cloth and tossing it back into the tub. Her eyes drank in Ryan's body greedily despite herself. Damn it, why couldn't she see Ryan for what she was, a bitch in need of a good whipping?
"Maybe. Maybe," Dex answered vaguely. She, of course, had no intention of talking about Gena. Ryan had no real proof she had brought anyone back to the apartment.
"Well, Dex, there was a distinct odor of cunt in this house as I opened the door. Couldn't have been you masturbating on the couch, that's not like you. You'd rather give your cunt a rupture rather than satisfy yourself. You like suffering."
Dex felt herself coming to the boiling point again. Ryan's words were even more infuriating because they were true, every last one. And they hurt her. In contrast to Ryan. Truth ran off her like water off a duck's back.
"So what if I did bring some one home and make it with them," Dex blurted out. "It's all fair and square."
"Oh no it isn't, honey, because the rules state that no other sex object shall enter this apartment but me. Dig it?" Ryan's beautiful face was now twisted in a sneer. With amazing calm Dex wondered whether Ryan really got pleasure from acting like a selfish bitch. It didn't seem possible and yet…
"Ryan, there are no rules for screwing around. Except maybe get it and lay it before it gets you…" Dex heard herself saying these words as if she were a third person on the bathroom. She wasn't even sure she knew what they meant. They were a defense, a barrage of words to hide the pain she felt at bickering with Ryan. If only that third person could break in and stop this nonsense. She felt a grin of triumph spread over her face as Ryan could find no words to answer.
It felt good not to be a sucker, this once. She looked Ryan directly in the eyes and grinned with an overflowing of self-satisfaction. Just this once she had matched Ryan's infidelity tit for tat.
"Congratulations," Ryan said, her eyelids lowering. "My congratulations."
Ryan took a bar of soap and began to work it along one arm. Slowly, she sank deeper into the water until it reached her chin. She closed her eyes and sighed.
Dex watched Ryan's attempt at nonchalance. Underneath that lazy exterior, Ryan was throwing a thousand fits, but she would never admit to even one of them.
"The whole world's a con act," Dex threw out as a truce.
She leaned over and kissed Ryan lightly on one wet nipple. The soap tasted harsh to her tongue but it was worth it just to make some small contact with the woman. The nipple replied to Dex's attention by stiffening slightly. Dex felt the burning sensation deep in her groin revive. Her thighs reminded her of how she ached for fulfillment. There was something uncomfortable about her sex, a feeling that her pussy was sealed shut, dried out, made worthless and unworkable. The burning inside her could find no release.
Dex sat gazing at Ryan's bobbing breasts in the water as the woman she loved continued lathering her limbs with the bar of soap. Every movement brought some part of her anatomy forcefully into sexual perspective. For a split second Dex could see herself going mad and throwing herself into the bathtub in order to finally possess this female creature and be satisfied.
"Well, I'm not going to be like other women," Ryan said. "I mean I'm not going to ask you how you liked it."
Before Dex could come back with a reply, Ryan put her hand up till her dripping fingers encircled Dex's throat. The first touch was almost alarming, as if she would have liked to strangle her lover. Then, gently, Ryan began to massage the tight skin beneath Dex's chin line, plying it in slow circles with thumb and forefinger.
The unexpected touch of Ryan's hand broke down her last thread of resistance. What use was it to pretend that she didn't want Ryan even for a second. Anybody could see the sham of it. At the first touch of this woman's hand, all her insides had gone crazy with desire. Any time Ryan wanted her to stroke her, lick her, suck her, she'd come running. All it took was a stroke of Ryan's finger and everything was lost.
Something in Dex now told her to control her lust enough so that Ryan would never suspect that her trick had not satisfied her. No, that would be too humiliating. True, they had not really had time…
Dex bit her lower lip. They had not had time, Gena and herself, because Gena had been too concerned with her own pleasure to make time. Dex's own satisfaction had been replaced by a plate of sausages and French toast.
Now the fire that Gena had started began, again, to burn high in Dex's flesh. Self-control had never been one of her strong points. Not when it came to sex, anyway. Admittedly, she craved fulfillment. She had wanted it to be Gena who would complete the act by giving her the attention and orgasm she wanted. Now, that seemed impossible. Gena was off in some taxi, probably home by now and asleep. She didn't have the girl's address. She never even asked for her last name or phone number. As usual she was at Ryan's mercy.
If only just this once she could keep Ryan from knowing that. Her lover expected she'd had a good sexual workout. The bitchy remark about the smell of cunt in the room underlined the jealousy she felt. If only Dex would have the control to work on that, to remain cool as those fingers massaged over her neck.
Instead, Dex once again lowered her mouth to the tip of Ryan's nipple. She sucked almost audibly on the rubbery point of flesh, giving it her undivided attention until she slipped her lips off it and moved them hungrily up the soapy curve of her breast.
"So you still want me," Ryan said, her voice gratified.
Dex closed her eyes. She was putty in Ryan's hands.
"I love you," she said. "If you stopped running long enough to look, you'd see it."
Ryan grunted. They had been over that terrain before. Some women just needed to know they were desirable to everyone. Ryan could never be satisfied with knowing that Dex loved her. They both knew that. And yet, they stayed together, occasionally hatching dreams of fidelity and eternal companionship.
Dex's mind ranged masochistically to the first time Ryan had made love to another woman.
It had been at a party, very much like the one that night. But it had been more intimate and more sexual. Dex had not wanted to go, and especially she had not wanted Ryan to be there. She had feared for her hold on the young woman; the beautiful actress everyone envied as her lover. Something inside her had instinctively warned her that Ryan would never survive that much attention focused on her. She would have to flaunt it, give herself to it. And she had.
A woman, tall and leggy, almost as statuesquely beautiful as Ryan herself, had been the straw that broke the back of their fidelity up to that point. Ironically, it had been a friend of Bobbi Morton, thought Dex.
Dex's mind forced her to replay the events, to watch from a corner of the room as the two women danced slowly together, rubbing their breasts and cunts against each other. Once again she felt tears and anger fighting inside her.
As if the display of their dancing had not been enough, the two women left the dance floor and marched indiscreetly to the bedroom. Eyes followed them playfully. Dex had wanted to disappear through the floor.