“I see.” Hunt lit his cigarette at last, then got up and paced across the room, thinking to himself and smoking several draws.
Gina settled further back into her chair. “What would you have done?” she asked him after the silence had dragged into more than a minute.
“What?” Hunt seemed to return abruptly from somewhere miles away. “Oh, much the same, I think. As you say, you didn’t know us at the time.”
“That’s nice to hear, anyway.”
Hunt picked up her briefcase, which she had put down on the chair by the working area on one side of the lounge, moved it to the desktop, then sat down in the chair and swiveled it to face back at her. “Do you remember that conversation we had in my place at Redfern Canyons the day you drove out there? You asked me what reality out there was, and I said it was all photons. Everything else you think you see, you make inside your head.”
“Neural constructs. Yes, I remember.”
“Funny things, heads. I knew a chap at Cambridge once, years ago now, who wanted to be a great scientist. He bought this big house with lots of quiet and seclusion, and filled it with all the things that were going to make it happen. Paneled study with a fireplace; the best computer, with access numbers into everywhere; huge library, and a lab set up with everything. He even had a chalkboard and plenty of pads ready to capture the inspiration when it came… The only trouble was, nothing ever did. He surrounded himself with all the paraphernalia and then sat back waiting for it to do something for him. A lot of people try and live their lives the same way. But things don’t work like that, of course. It has to come from inside… Rather like what you said about J.H.C.: His message was that everyone has to find their own way of figuring out who they are. Relying on the world outside to do it for you doesn’t work.”
“Why are you bringing this up now?”
Hunt shrugged nonchalantly. “Just talking about the funny things that go on inside and outside people’s heads. Sandy was telling me a little bit about your experiments with VISAR on the Vishnu. I hadn’t realized you’d gone that far into it-in fact, I hadn’t realized that you could go that far into it. Amazing, isn’t it? Me, the ever-curious scientist. It comes as a bit of a shock to find out you’re not quite what you thought, doesn’t it?”
Gina twitched uncomfortably and gulped at her drink, spilling a drop on her slacks. She drew a tissue from a pack on a side table and dabbed it dry.
“What was it that bothered you so much when you got into VISAR?” Hunt asked.
“Does this really have anything to do with what we’re talking about?” Gina objected.
“Yes, I think it does.” The sudden crispness in Hunt’s voice made her eyebrows lift in surprise. He waited for a moment. “Sandy said that it doesn’t just create fantasy realities. It can mold them to reflect things about yourself that you mightn’t like-things you didn’t even know existed. And that’s important to you. You said as much a few minutes ago, when you thought you’d been betraying your friends. What other things did VISAR let out of the box that you’d rather it had left there?”
“What the hell does this have to do with anything?” Gina demanded, her voice rising.
“What’s the matter, can’t you handle it?” Hunt leered tauntingly. “We’ve all got something. Power trips, like Baumer. Sandy found that she gets a kick out of seeing blood, and people screaming. What about you?”
“Vic, stop it! I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Do you like older men because a favorite uncle felt up your knickers when you were a little girl? Was it something like that?”
“Mind your own fucking, goddamn business!”
“Ahah, something like that, then, was it? You said on the Vishnu that you might tell me your fantasies one day. Do you remember?”
Gina slammed the glass down on the side table, breaking the stem. She glowered across at Hunt and thrust out her chin defiantly. “All right! I used to be married to this guy who was into the swinging scene, okay. You know the kind of thing? He had other friends too, and liked threesome things and lots-of-people things. He was always trying to get me into it, too, but it never happened. Okay? Got your thrill for today? I’ve heard lots of weird things about you English guys.”
“And what? Did it bother you that you hadn’t figured him before?” Hunt had dropped the sarcasm suddenly, but just at that moment Gina wasn’t registering.
“No, Doctor, it didn’t!” she shouted. “Deep down I was pissed because I’d been chicken. VISAR would have delivered, and I wasn’t sure I wanted that. In fact I was terrified. Okay? Satisfied?” Her voice fell. “Now get out of my room.”
But Hunt was staring at her intently, his face serious, as if inviting her to think about what she had just said. She realized then that he had been shamming, and for a reason. Her expression changed to puzzlement.
“And you went back to it, here in Shiban, with Baumer?” He gave her a moment to reflect, then shook his head. “No way. Oh, I’ve heard all your reasons, and I don’t buy them. Neither do you.”
Gina looked back at him, totally confused. Her belligerence evaporated. “I know… It’s made me wonder, too. I don’t know why I did it… I guess, maybe, I couldn’t see any way to refuse.”
Hunt shrugged. “It’s easy. You tell him it’s not your thing. Let’s go and have a drink.”
Gina leaned back wearily and ran a hand through her hair. “Is it really that important?”
“Yes, very. Because I don’t think it happened. I don’t think you went there at all.”
“Now you’re being stupid.”
“We’ve just agreed that you wouldn’t have gone near the place. Sandy says the same thing. It was she who convinced me.”
Gina stared at him and shook her head as if wondering if she were dreaming. “Look, what’s the point of talking like this? Why keep saying I couldn’t have gone there when I did?”
“How do you know you did?”
“Well… What the hell kind of question is that to ask? How do you know you went to the bathroom this morning? I remember it, that’s why.”
Hunt sat back, still regarding her steadily, and gave a satisfied nod. “Funny things, heads,” he said again. “Aren’t they?”
He waited. Gina stared down at the floor. A trickle of drink from her upset glass had run down a leg of the side table and was spreading into the carpet. She leaned forward to mop it with a tissue. And then she froze, suddenly, and looked up, the first glimmer of comprehension illuminating her eyes. “What are you getting at?” she whispered.
“I could call Gregg Caldwell through VISAR to check,” Hunt said. “In fact, we will. But I’ll lay you a thousand bucks to a penny right now that General Shaw doesn’t exist either.” The look of horror on her face told him that he was getting through. He drew a long breath, then went on. “They’re fake memories that were written into your head at another JEVEX outlet somewhere. We’re pretty certain that somebody got to you somewhere after you and Baumer left PAC. So we have to assume that they know everything you did up to that point. Then they overwrote what happened with the fabricated sequence that you remember, and just for good measure added in the business about Shaw to get you working for them. Fayne was their first try to collect-at least, I hope it was the first?” Gina nodded. Hunt sighed. “It was neat. If you and Sandy hadn’t gone tripping on the Vishnu, we might never have cottoned onto it.”
Gina went through some of the pictures in her mind, searching for possible flaws or inaccuracies. There were none. She shivered, drawing her sweater tighter around her. “I can’t tell. I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t about what I remember.” A fearful look came over her suddenly. “This couldn’t be anything like what happened to Baumer, is it?”
Hunt shook his head firmly. “Don’t worry about that. You’ve just lost a few memories, that’s all. A good binge could have done the same thing. You’re still very much you.”