“Look. You told me to find something worth living for. That’s what I’m trying to do.” He dropped his hand. “The only thing that means anything to me these days is the fighting, which, if I keep going down the path I’ve been on, I won’t even have anymore. No one else wants to do this and I can. So”—he blew out a long breath—“say yes. Save the other guys from having to make a sacrifice you know they can’t handle and tell the king you support my binding with Isadora. And let’s be done with this.”
Theron studied him so long, Zander wasn’t sure the Argonaut had heard him. His heart thumped hard in his chest as he waited. If Theron said no…he wasn’t sure what he’d do. He felt like he’d just been thrown a lifeline, something real to grasp onto. Something that would give him a reason to live instead of just going through the motions. And now Theron alone had the power to crush the one spark of hope he’d had in years.
Finally, Theron said, “The king wants heirs. It’s the entire reason he’s forcing this marriage on Isadora.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
Was he? It meant sex. With an Argolean. Not a human woman. “I have to be, right?”
“He won’t let you fight. He’ll take you out of the rotation and keep you in Argolea until she’s with child or an heir is born.”
Zander hadn’t thought of that. “Okaaaay. Yeah. I guess…that makes sense.”
“And there’s always the question of your…virility. You’ve taken more than your fair share of beatings over the years.”
That was Theron’s polite way of saying Zander may have been kicked in the balls one too many times to sire a child. On this, at least, Zander knew he was certain. A sound that was half chuckle, half harrumph came out of him. “I’m fertile. Don’t worry about that.”
“How do you know—?”
“Because I’ve worked that particular magic before.”
Theron’s brows drew together. “You have a child?”
Had was more accurate. Or, almost had. The ache intensified in his chest. “Not anymore.”
“Skata. Zander…”
Okay, now things were getting way too real for Zander. He rubbed a hand across his lower lip. “Look, they’re waiting for us. Just say yes, Theron.”
Theron sighed. The battle raging inside him was palpable. He, of any of the Argonauts, would know the sacrifice Zander was making. Because he was the only one who’d found his soul mate. And obviously, just the thought of losing Casey was enough to tear him apart. “You can’t change your mind. Once the ceremony is final, that’s it. No one else but her.”
“I know.”
“You’re willing to make that commitment to Isadora? Even knowing she’s…still out there?”
Zander thought about the “she” Theron was referring to. Wondered what the Argonaut would say if he knew that she was right in the next room. Then thought about all the years he’d wished things could be different, that she’d made a different choice, that she’d picked him over her domineering father. Or that he could just get beyond her betrayal and forgive her. But he couldn’t. Every time he looked at Callia, he didn’t see the beauty that she was or the power that she held, he saw what she’d done. And even now, as he remembered, it pierced his chest as fresh and sharp as it had that day.
“I am,” he said with more conviction than Theron needed. But then, that conviction wasn’t for Theron, was it? It was for him. And what he was about to do.
“Isadora will never be your soul mate, Zander,” Theron said quietly.
“That’s why I want to bind myself to her.”
Theron turned and glanced toward the king’s door, rubbed a hand over his face as if he was exhausted. Blew out a long, long breath. “Okay,” he finally said. “Okay, you have my endorsement. It’s up to the king, but…” He looked back at Zander with a mixture of pity and respect that was oddly reassuring, then placed his large hand on Zander’s shoulder. The Argonaut markings, the ancient Greek text, ran down his forearms to entwine his fingers, just like they did on Zander’s arms, just like they did on the arms of all the Argonauts. “You have my respect. And my gratitude. What you do here, you do for all of us. I won’t forget this. None of us will.”
The emotion swirling in Zander’s chest was unfamiliar. Not excitement, or even happiness really, because he was neither excited nor happy. No, this was different. It was warm and encapsulating, and it radiated from the center of his being.
It was…pride, he finally realized. For the first time in longer than he could remember, he was proud of what he was doing. For someone else. For his people. For their protection and way of life. And it felt good. Damn good, because…it meant he wasn’t numb anymore.
He was too pansy-assed choked up to say anything, so he only nodded and followed Theron back into the king’s chambers.
The room quieted once more as they entered, and he met the expectant looks of each of his guardian kin with a reassuring nod. But he didn’t look at Callia, standing near the king’s bed. Couldn’t. And he told himself that was a good thing. Because his past with her ended here. His future—for the next five hundred years, at least—was with the gynaíka on the other side of the room. The one he intended to marry, bed and impregnate all in the next week.
His stomach tightened at that little reality, but he lifted his head, held still and let Theron take the lead.
“Your Highness,” Theron said, his deep voice like a boom to seal Zander’s fate. “I recommend you reconsider your choice. Zander has my full support as the guardian best fit to marry Isadora.”
No one said a word. Behind him, Zander could hear Demetrius suck in a breath and hold it. Across the room, Isadora and Callia stared at him. The king frowned, obviously contemplating his options. And he didn’t look altogether ecstatic at what he was thinking.
Just say yes. Beads of sweat broke out on Zander’s forehead as he waited. His conversation with the king weeks ago—when Theron had nearly walked away from the Argonauts—flashed in his brain. The king hadn’t been happy when he’d sided with Theron. Looked less than thrilled now. If the king held that against him…
Just say yes…
Finally, the king said, “So be it.”
A breath Zander hadn’t realized he’d been holding rushed out. At his back, he heard the same from Demetrius.
“The binding ceremony between Zander and the princess Isadora will take place in seven days’ time,” the king announced. “On the eve of the full moon. You are dismissed.”
Collectively, the Argonauts turned to leave. Muttered voices echoed around Zander, but the only one he fully caught was Demetrius’s grateful one as the guardian said, “I owe you, Z.”
That pride hit Zander again in the chest full on, even though…the thought of what lay ahead solidified that ice around his heart.
This was the right thing to do. The only thing he could do. He was saving the others from something they didn’t want. Hopefully saving a small part of himself too.
He turned to leave with the other guardians, but the king’s sharp voice stopped him. “Zander.” He looked back. “Do not disappoint me. The repercussions will be fierce.”
Yeah, that wasn’t glowing thanks either. Zander bowed once, indicating he’d heard the king, but his pride wavered.
“Before you return to duty,” the king went on, “you’ll report to my private study for a complete evaluation by my personal healer. If you pass the exam, the binding ceremony will go on as scheduled. If not, I’ll choose another Argonaut. You are excused.”