I melted into him, my hands pushing the cap from his head so that my fingers could sink into the silky black mane of his hair. I fell into the kiss, swept away by the lush carnality of it. A sob escaped me.
“Don’t,” he breathed, pulling back to cradle my jaw. He looked into my eyes. “It shreds me when you cry.”
“It’s too much.” I trembled.
His beautiful eyes looked as weary as mine. He nodded grimly. “What I did—”
“Not that. How I feel about you.”
He rubbed the tip of his nose against me, his hands sliding reverently along my bare arms—hands with proverbial blood on them, which only made me love his touch all the more.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
His eyes closed. “God, when you left tonight … I didn’t know if you’d come back … if I’d lost you—”
“I need you, too, Gideon.”
“I won’t apologize. I’d do it again.” His grip tightened on me. “The options were restraining orders, increased security, vigilance … for the rest of your life. There was no guarantee you’d be safe unless Nathan was dead.”
“You cut me off. Shut me out. You and me—”
“Forever.” His fingertips pressed against my parted lips. “It’s over, Eva. Don’t argue about something that’s too late to change.”
I brushed his hand away. “Is it over? Can we be together now, or are we still hiding our relationship from the police? Are we even in a relationship?”
Gideon held my gaze, hiding nothing, letting me see his pain and fear. “That’s what I’m here to ask you.”
“If it’s up to me, I’ll never let you go,” I said vehemently. “Never.”
Gideon’s hands slid down my throat to my shoulders, blazing a hot trail across my skin. “I need that to be true,” he said softly. “I was afraid you’d run … that you’d be afraid. Of me.”
“Gideon, no—”
“I would never hurt you.”
I caught the waistband of his sweats and tugged, even though I couldn’t budge him. “I know that.”
And physically, I had no doubts; he’d always been careful with me, always cautious. But emotionally, my love had been used against me with meticulous precision. I was struggling with reconciling the absolute trust I had in Gideon’s awareness of my needs and the wariness that came from a shattered heart still healing.
“Do you?” He searched my face, as attuned as always to what wasn’t said. “Letting you go would kill me, but I wouldn’t hurt you to keep you.”
“I don’t want to go anywhere.”
He exhaled audibly. “My lawyers will be talking to the police tomorrow, to get a feel for where things stand.”
Tilting my head back, I pressed my lips gently to his. We were colluding to hide a crime, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t seriously bother me—I was the daughter of a police officer, after all—but the alternative was too awful to consider.
“I have to know that you can live with what I’ve done,” he said softly, wrapping my hair around his finger.
“I think so. Can you?”
His mouth found mine again. “I can survive anything if I have you.”
I reached under his sweatshirt, seeking and finding his warm, golden skin. His muscles were hard and ridged beneath my palms, his body a seductive and virile work of art. I licked his lips, my teeth catching the full curve along the bottom and biting gently. Gideon groaned. The sound of his pleasure slid over me like a caress.
“Touch me.” The words were an order, but his tone was a plea.
“I am.”
Reaching behind him, he grabbed my wrist and pulled my hand around. He thrust his cock shamelessly into my palm, grinding. My fingers curled around the thick, heavy length, my pulse quickening at the realization that he was commando beneath his sweats.
“God,” I breathed. “You make me so hot.”
His blue eyes were fierce on my face; his cheeks flushed and his sculpted lips parted. He never tried to hide the effect I had on him, never pretended that he had any more control over his response to me than I had to him. It made his dominance in the bedroom all the more exciting, knowing that he was similarly as helpless to the attraction between us.
My chest tightened. I still couldn’t believe that he was mine, that I got to see him this way, so open and hungry and sexy as hell …
Gideon tugged my towel open. He inhaled sharply when it hit the floor and I stood before him completely naked. “Ah, Eva.”
His voice throbbed with emotion, making my eyes sting. He yanked his shirt up and over his head, tossing it aside. Then he reached for me, stepping carefully into me, prolonging the moment when our bare skin would touch.
He gripped my hips, his fingers flexing restlessly, his breathing quick and harsh. The tips of my breasts touched him first, sending a sudden rush of sensation through my body. I gasped. He crushed me to him with a growl, lifting my feet from the floor and carrying me backward toward the bed.
MY THIGHS HIT the mattress and I landed on my butt, falling to my back with Gideon leaning over me. He hitched me up with an arm banded around my back, centering me on the bed before he settled atop me. His mouth was on my breast before I knew it, his lips soft and warm, the suction fast and greedy. He plumped the heavy weight in his hand, kneading possessively.
“Christ, I’ve missed you,” he groaned. His skin was hot against my cool flesh, his weight so welcome after the long nights without him.
I hooked my legs around his calves and shoved my hands beneath his waistband to grip his taut, hard ass. I tugged him into me, arching my hips to feel his cock through the cotton that separated us. Wanting him inside me, so that I’d know for certain he was mine again.
“Say it,” I coaxed, needing the words he swore were inadequate.
He pushed up and looked down at me, gently brushing my hair back from my forehead. He swallowed hard.
Rearing, I caught his beautifully etched mouth in a kiss. “I’ll say it first: I love you.”
He closed his eyes and quivered. Wrapping his arms around me, Gideon squeezed so tight I almost couldn’t breathe.
“I love you,” he whispered. “Too much.”
His fervent declaration reverberated through me. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried.
“Angel.” His fist clenched in my hair.
Lifting my head, I took his mouth, our kiss flavored with the salt of my tears. My lips moved desperately over his, as if he’d be gone at any second and I had no time to get my fill of him.
“Eva. Let me …” He cupped my face, licking deep into my mouth. “Let me love you.”
“Please,” I whispered, my fingers linking behind his neck to capture him. His erection lay hot and heavy against the lips of my sex, the weight of him the perfect pressure on my throbbing clit. “Don’t stop.”
“Never. I can’t.”
His hand cupped my buttock, lifting me into a deft roll of his hips. I gasped as the pleasure radiated through me, my nipples beading hard and tight against his chest. The light dusting of crisp hair was an unbearable stimulation. My core ached, begging for the hard-driving thrust of his cock.
My nails raked his back from shoulder to hips. He arched into the rough caress with a low growl, his head thrown back in deliciously erotic abandon.
“Again,” he ordered gruffly, his face flushed and lips parted.
Surging upward, I sank my teeth into his pectoral, just over his heart. Gideon hissed, quivering, and took it.
I couldn’t contain the ferocious swell of emotion that needed release—the love and need, the anger and fear. And the pain. God, the pain. I still felt it keenly. I wanted to tear into him. To punish as well as pleasure. To make him experience some small measure of what I had when he’d pushed me away.
My tongue stroked over the slight indentations left by my teeth and his hips rocked into me, his cock sliding through the parted lips of my sex.