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I walk up to the door and rap on it lightly. I hear rustling and heavy footsteps coming toward the front of the bus. The door opens, and a large man fills the doorway.

“What?” he asks, and he looks menacing.

“I’m with the band, and I’m a little early I guess.”

He steps aside and lets me up the stairs. “You Garrett?” he asks.

“Yes, how did you know?”

“I’m the driver of your bus and your security team. It’s my job to know.”

“Oh.”

“I’m Mick. Welcome aboard.”

I step onto the bus and inhale deeply. It’s brand new inside, and the smell of fresh leather hits my nose. “Most of your gear is stored below, and I’ve put some things in the back.” We had to drop all of our stuff at the studio this morning so the crew could pack everything into the bus and small truck that will be traveling with us. It feels weird walking onto my home for the next several months with just my clothes on and a wallet in my pocket.

“Cool,” I say and walk toward the bunks.

“I can take any one of these?” I gesture to the empty bunks on either side of the narrow hallway.

“Yes, or the room in the back,” Mick responds as I push open the door.

A comfortable-looking bed is in the center of a small room. “I’ll take this,” I smirk and close the door behind me.

I climb into the bed and look down at my phone. Several missed calls and texts from different girls I’ve hooked up with over the past few months. I’m sure they’re all looking to have a goodbye fuck before I leave. I wish I had the energy to entertain them all, but I’m sure this room will see a lot of action in the coming months.

I scroll through the texts and see one from my mom.

MOM: TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BE GOOD I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I’M SO PROUD OF YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I switch off my phone and tuck it under the pillow.

I close my eyes and remember a birthday party a long time ago. It must have been when I was five or six, because my birth father was there. Mom’s singing and dad’s blowing in a noisemaker. I’m smiling and blowing out candles. My vision turns dark and my father disappears. My mom and I are all alone. I’m crying and asking “Why?”

My mother is hugging me and telling me it’s going to be okay. I remember this day when I realized my father left us for good. He deserted us and forced my mother to raise me alone.

Then he killed himself years later on this same day.

I hate this fucking day.

Sam

Present

Villanova, Pennsylvania

Age 24

“GO DOWNSTAIRS AND GET SOMETHING to eat. I’ve got things under control in here. Besides, you need a break. It’s your birthday, sweetheart.” Aunt Peggy settles into the chair with Kai sleeping in her arms.

I nod groggily and leave the room. My birthday isn’t a particularly happy time for me, but my aunt has helped me get through the toughest ones. It’s hard to celebrate happy times on the very day that my parents were murdered.

Garrett isn’t downstairs yet, and I wonder if he’s even here. He’s been in and out sporadically and I can tell the situation with Kai is really rattling him. Some days, he’s eager to help and try to participate in the various routines we have. Other times, he disappears for days on end. I try not to preoccupy myself with his irregular schedule, but I can’t help but wonder.

His man-whore ways have been the talk of the tabloids for a while now, and I hope his bad behavior doesn’t someday influence his son. Kai’s going to have an uphill battle as it is with the constant worry of addiction hanging over his head. His long-term caregiver, who theoretically is going to be Garrett, will need to keep a close eye on Kai to be sure he doesn’t display addictive behavior early on.

I brew a large pot of water for tea and slide onto one of the barstools. I look out the window and the sun is shining bright. What a gorgeous day. I’m suddenly jealous of all of the people enjoying their time outside. I wish I could get to the park or something, but I hesitate bringing Kai out in such bright sunlight. His eyes are very sensitive.

The doorbell rings, and I look to see if anyone is going to answer it. It rings again, and I realize that I’m the only one who can. I’m in leggings and a tank top, and I look like I just rolled out of bed.

I open the door and Cassie comes bounding in. “Happy Birthday!” she squeals and hugs me tight.

“Thanks,” I say and turn back toward the sound of the water boiling in the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?” I yawn and take out two mugs from the cabinet.

“No thank you,” she replies, and I slide one back in place.

“Okay.”

“Good thing you’re getting caffeinated because we’re going out tonight!”

I shake my head. “Yeah, right.” I haven’t left Garrett’s house in over a month. The only down time I have, I use it to swim. My aunt helps out as much as she can, but this is my job, not hers. “I can’t go anywhere, Cass. I have a job to do, remember? Kai is asleep with my aunt right now, but I’m his nurse. I can’t leave.” I pour the hot water over two large tea bags and let them steep.

“Peggy is staying the night so you can go out and enjoy yourself for a change!” she exclaims and claps her hands together.

“What?” Aunt Peggy didn’t mention this to me, and I don’t really think it’s a good idea.

“Yes. I called her on Monday, and she said she couldn’t think of a better way for you to celebrate your birthday than by going out with me. So drink that double-sized tea and get yourself in the shower. We’re going out.”

I sigh. I honestly don’t have it in me to be social with anyone.

“Can’t we just stay here?” I whine.

“Absolutely not.”

The door opens that leads to the garage and Garrett walks in. He looks disheveled, and I wonder where he’s been. I’ve been wondering about him a lot lately.

Cassie’s eyes light up and she blushes. She’s only met him once or twice since he’s usually never here. I know she’s star struck and can’t help herself. “Hi, Garrett!” she exclaims. I wrap both of my hands around the hot mug and slowly sip the tea. It’s black and strong with a tiny twist of lemon. Perfect.

“Hi, Cassie,” he says, and she’s twitching in her seat. I know she’s thrilled that he remembered her name.

“Hey, Sam,” he addresses me, and guilt sweeps across his face. “I’m sorry I wasn’t around to help out last night. I had something to do. How’s Kai?”

I tense a little, wondering what that ‘something’ was. A groupie, no doubt. I overheard a conversation the other day that Garrett was having on speakerphone in the library. The band’s publicist was lecturing him on maintaining good behavior. The tabloids and local news have been very nosy around his property, trying to figure out what’s been going on. After Sadie’s overdose, he’s been under a microscope. Miraculously, nobody has gotten wind that he has a baby. The social worker handled things discreetly, and since Sadie had no other family and few friends who knew what was going on with her, things were kept very quiet about Kai. Which is another reason I can’t be seen leaving the house with him. When we take him to his doctor and therapy appointments, we’re usually in one of the large SUVs with dark tinted windows. We always leave from the garage and don’t get out until the doors are closed. Miraculously, no one has tried to follow us because it’s Peggy who’s usually driving. I think the paparazzi assume that it’s just the housekeeper coming and going.

“He’s good. Aunt Peggy’s upstairs with him now.”

“Sam’s going out tonight,” Cassie interrupts. “It’s her birthday!”

His eyes flicker for a moment, and he walks towards me. “Happy birthday,” he says genuinely and reaches out to softly touch my arm. His touch feels nice and I sigh.