Cassie looks between us and the startled look on her face is hard to miss.
“Want to come?” she asks.
Garrett smiles. “No, thank you though.” He reaches into the refrigerator and takes out a large jug of Gatorade. He opens the top and starts to chug it right from the bottle. He must be hung-over or something.
“You totally should come,” Cassie insists, and it makes me uncomfortable.
“Sorry, I have other plans,” he says and places the Gatorade back into the refrigerator.
“Of course you do,” she stammers, embarrassed that she pressed him.
“So you’re going out tonight?” he asks me, and I flush a little.
“I keep telling her no, but she’s insisting.”
He smiles. “It is your birthday, after all. You should go out and enjoy yourself. When was the last time you even left here when it wasn’t a trip to the doctor or pharmacy?”
“It’s been a while.” I shrug.
“It’s settled, then. Enjoy yourselves.”
The doorbell chimes again and I answer it. This house hasn’t seen this much commotion since I first arrived.
I open it and see Heath’s large frame standing in front of me. This guy is so tall; it would be intimidating if you didn’t know him. He’s honestly one of the most down-to-earth members of Epic Fail. I’ve met him a couple of times, and I know he annoys Garrett when he comes by. My aunt says Heath was with Garrett the day he found out about Kai and feels connected to the little boy. It’s hard not to feel a connection to Kai. I’m already in love with him.
“Hey, Heath. Garrett’s in the kitchen.”
“Hey, Sam.”
He strides past me and addresses Garrett. “They’re expecting us by four. Are you ready?”
“What time is it?” I ask Cassie without looking at the large clock on the wall.
“Three,” she says while staring at Heath. Her jaw is about to hit the table.
“Wow.” I completely lost track of time. I honestly thought it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. Last night was a long night with Kai, and I must have really messed up my internal clock.
“I’m ready now,” Garrett says and swipes his keys from the counter.
He turns back to me and says one more time, “Happy birthday, Sam.”
The door shuts behind them, and Cassie says, “Oh my God. I think I’m in love. Heath is just…”
I laugh. “You say that every single time you meet a hot dude. How can you be in love with so many people?” I ask, joking.
“Easy.” She shrugs and slaps me on the butt. “Get ready, we’re meeting the girls for dinner, and I want to run a few errands before we go.” I haven’t seen Becky and Marcie since I was put on administrative leave. I admit it will be nice to see them again, but I’m mentally and physically exhausted. Full-time nursing doesn’t come close to the levels of exhaustion that I feel every single day. It’s like being a mom.
“I’ll be down in a half hour. Make yourself comfortable.” I slowly climb the staircase and tip-toe into Kai’s room.
“Did you know about this?” I whisper to Peggy.
She smiles and continues rocking Kai. “You need to enjoy yourself for a change. Go out. Have a good time. Kai will be here waiting for you tomorrow morning. Happy birthday,” she says and dismisses me from the room.
I take a deep breath in the hallway and duck into one of the guest rooms to shower and get ready for my date with Cassie.
I can’t believe what a turn my life has taken. Never in a million years would I ever have imagined that I’d be yearning to stay home with a child that isn’t even mine. I’ve grown so close to him and feel his every ounce of pain and suffering. I wish I could take it all away so he could be peaceful and pain-free.
I look at myself in the mirror and trace the tired lines around my eyes. I’ve aged more during the past few months than I have in all of my twenty-four years. Is this what my mother looked like at my age? She was beautiful at forty, and I doubt she looked this tired at twenty-four.
“I love you, Mom and Dad,” I whisper into the mirror.
I miss them so much.
Garrett
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 27
“DOES SHE KNOW TODAY’S YOUR BIRTHDAY TOO?” Heath asks as he pulls out of the gate at the end of my driveway.
“No,” I respond. I’m still shaken by the fact that we share a birthday. A day where we both lost parents. My father had control over his demise, but her family did not. I wonder what goes through her mind every year on the anniversary of her parents’ death. I can’t help but think about all of the years I spent wondering where my father was. Did he miss me? Did he want to see me again?
“How long has she been with you? Four or five months?” Heath asks.
“Why?” I ask, wondering why this is a relevant question.
“You’d think you’d know by now what day her birthday is. Don’t you think?”
“I don’t know what you’re getting at. It’s not like Sam and I are… ” What are we?
We arrive at the studio, and everyone’s cars are there. Even Alex’s. It doesn’t seem to bother Heath too much that Alex is still involved with us and our creative process. He’ll be happy if one or two of his songs make it onto the next album. Nothing really fazes Heath, and I like that about him.
Our manager and publicist are both here as well as several suits from the record label. Today is a critical day in planning for our next tour and, for the first time since Kai came to live with me, I dread having to leave him. It’s been a while since I’ve felt the need to escape. He’s growing fast, and his rough patches are starting to become less frequent. I’m conflicted about planning our tour knowing I’m going to have to leave him.
We’ve all filled the room and have jammed around a conference table. Our manager, Tom, shuts the door. “Okay, let’s get right to it. We need to know how committed Epic Fail is to finishing this next album. From what I see, you have two tracks out of twelve complete. What’s going on?”
He scans the room and tries to make eye contact with each of us. Alex is as relaxed as he could be because the pressure isn’t on him at all. He has most of the lyrics written that he wants to present to us. It’s up to us to create the music.
Dax speaks first, as always. “Tom, we all have competing priorities at the moment, and I think we need to lay out a flexible timeline that we can adapt to.”
“We’re booking stadiums for over a year from now and we need to know if you’re going to have a new album to tour with,” one of the record executives speaks up. I don’t know his name, but I think he’s been involved with planning our tours in the past.
“That’s kind of hard to say,” Dax responds.
My mind drifts as voices raise in the room. All I can think about is how big Kai will be this time next year. Will he be walking? Talking? Running? Will he be happy or will he still have residual issues from his drug exposure?
Will Sam still be helping us?
That’s the critical question and my gut tells me no. I overheard her talking with Peggy the other day about trying to get her old job back. Apparently, the hospital administration conducted a full investigation into the death of the little boy that she was caring for. They retracted their decision to suspend her and offered to reinstate her at full pay. I don’t fully understand what happened, but I think that’s good news for her. But bad news for me.
“Garrett?” Tom asks, and I realize that I have no idea what everyone was just talking about.