She smirks. “Your six-pack thanks you.” Her eyes linger a little too long on my chest and abs, and she blushes.
“It’s time for my cool-down,” she says and begins to lie back in the water. “Do you want to float with me?”
I suddenly feel like I’m intruding. I know this is her private time, which she uses to decompress from her day. “I should go inside. Leave you to your… thing,” I say.
“You should try it, Garrett. You might enjoy it.” She’s on her back now, arms straight out to her sides and legs outstretched. She closes her eyes, and she allows the water to cover the majority of her body. She looks so serene. Peaceful. Beautiful.
I attempt to assume the same position, but my legs keep dropping to the floor of the pool. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I can’t get as relaxed as she is. She senses my discomfort, mostly because I’m flailing around, and pops her head out of the water.
She reaches for my hand and lightly holds it. “The key is to relax. Let the water take your body whole. Breathe deeply and exhale slowly. Like this.” She doesn’t let go of my hand as she once again gets into her floating stance.
This time, I do as she instructs and I’m able to float. The water drowns out any external sounds and all I hear are my deep breaths mixing with hers. She releases my hand so only our fingers are touching. We drift apart and I close my eyes. I can hear my heart beating rhythmically in my chest. I’m completely relaxed.
So this is what it’s like.
I don’t know how long we float like this. My eyes remain closed and I’m practically comatose. I have no urgency to get out of the pool. No urgency to be away from her. We’re sharing something special. Almost secret. And I don’t want it to end.
I feel movement next to me, and I’m jarred from my position. “Sorry.” Her soft voice echoes throughout the room. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I was just about to head up to the house and I wanted to make sure you knew I was leaving.”
“Do we have to go?” I ask and suddenly feel terrible for not wanting to go inside to be with my son. I’m selfish.
“No, you can stay. I have to relieve my aunt in a little while,” she says and makes her way through the pool to the stairs.
“Wait up,” I call after her. “I’ll come too.”
We dry off next to each other, and I do everything in my power not to stare at her incredible body. She’s half naked next to me and I want to throw her over my shoulder and take her into the dressing room.
“Good job keeping up with me,” she says. “I didn’t think you had it in you.” Her teeth shine through her wide smile, and I can’t help but laugh.
“I don’t think I’ve swam that many laps ever,” I say. “As a matter of fact, it’s probably only the third or fourth time I’ve actually been in my own pool. And I’ve had it for several years.”
She looks at me incredulously. “Really?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say, ashamed. “I can’t believe I don’t take advantage of having an indoor pool more often.”
“Well, you totally should,” she says. She looks up at the house, and from here it looks tremendous. I feel embarrassed again for the luxury around me and wish it was less over the top.
She wraps the towel around her shoulders and slips her flip-flops on. “Coming?”
“Yeah,” I say, and we step outside.
She immediately shivers and sprints to the back door. “It’s cold out here!” she calls back.
Once we’re inside, it takes her a few minutes before her shivers subside. I once again restrain myself from wrapping my body around hers to keep her warm.
“We should do that more often,” I say without thinking.
She smirks. “So Pizza Thursday and Swim Thursday?” Her grin is huge.
“Well, you said it yourself, eating pizza like that, we’re going to need to work it off somehow.”
She blushes again and shivers at the same time.
She fixes Kai’s bottles for the night and is ready to head upstairs. “I had a nice time tonight, Garrett. Thank you,” she says and walks toward the stairs.
“There’s nothing to thank me for,” I say. “I’ll be up to relieve you in a few hours. Sound good?”
She nods. “You don’t have to, you know. But I’ll never turn down a few hours of sleep in a real bed.”
My bed would be perfect.
“See you later,” I say as I watch her walk away.
A few minutes later, Peggy comes down and finds me in the kitchen. “It was nice of you to join Sam for a swim,” she says. She has a look in her eye like she knows everything that I’m thinking. It makes me uncomfortable.
She packs up her bag and grabs her keys. “See you tomorrow,” she says. “Make sure you leave me a list of things you need. I’ll be going shopping.”
Peggy is a gift. A Godsend. She takes care of everything I could possibly need and she brought Sam into my life. I don’t know what I’d be doing if she weren’t here. I realize I probably would have turned Kai away and made the situation disappear. I would have thrown as much money as possible at whoever could take Kai. I wouldn’t have my son, and I have Peggy to thank for that.
“Goodnight, Peggy,” I say.
I close up downstairs for the night and go up to my room. After a long, hot shower, I’m dressed in sweats and a tee-shirt.
Kai’s door at the end of the hallway is slightly ajar, and I quietly walk down the hall to his room. He and Sam are sound asleep in the rocking chair. Her hair is still partially wet and pulled into a high bun on the top of her head. It’s a mess and beautiful at the same time. Her head is tilted to the side, and Kai’s head is burrowed into her neck, just under her chin. He has a fist in his mouth that he’s sucking on, and the other is tight on her chest. Their breathing is in sync and perfect.
She looks so peaceful with my son in her arms, I can’t bring myself to wake her up. I pick up an extra blanket from the day-bed and gently drape it over the two of them, momentarily resting my hands on either side of her. I’m so close to her, I can smell the oil that she uses after she swims. Her skin smells like clean and fresh linens. She exhales deeply and her warm breath touches my face. I reluctantly pull away in fear of waking them up.
The day-bed is welcoming and familiar, and I lie down facing them both. I’ll be ready when she needs a break and when my son needs strong, protective hands to soothe him. But can I be strong for him? Can I be the father that he needs me to be?
Sam’s words from a few weeks ago ring in my head as I close my eyes.
“You have to believe, Garrett. Otherwise you have nothing.”
Sam
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 24
“WOULD YOU LIKE AN APPETIZER” the waiter asks as he refills my wine glass.
I’m about to shake my head when Richard interjects. “We’ll have the crab dip.”
The waiter nods his head and quickly walks away. I hate crab dip.
“I haven’t eaten here in so long. It’s great we’ve finally been able to go out. I’m so happy that Marcie insisted we get together. Too bad we couldn’t get together a few months ago, but I’m glad we’re out now.” He’s been talking incessantly since he picked me up thirty minutes ago. He must be nervous or can’t handle a little silence here and there. I make a mental note to punch Marcie in the face for giving Richard my number.
“Wait until you try the crab dip,” he says and reaches across the table for my hand.
I snatch it away and grab my purse. “I have to use the restroom. Excuse me.”
I pull out my phone on the way and text Cassie our emergency code.