He takes a deep breath and exhales quickly. “I’m in love with you.” His words cause me to stiffen in disbelief.
“What?”
“I love you,” he says again and lowers his mouth back to mine. His kiss is slow and thorough, and I press myself into him again.
I believe him. And his words scare me. We live completely different lives. I’m not cut out to live in his world.
“Why?” I ask, and he exhales heavily.
“You gave me something I thought I’d never experience. You triggered my capacity to love and to give myself fully to another human being. You’ve consumed my heart and soul. And you helped me find the place in my heart that I never knew existed. A place reserved for my child.”
His words grab my heart and I close my eyes.
“Look at me,” he says gently but firmly.
My eyes pop open and he says, “I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Sam. You give me breath. You give me life. I’m consumed by you.”
He continues, “I’m yours, Sam. All of me. I need you to tell me that you’re mine.”
“Yes,” I say, and he smiles as he brushes his hand over my cheek.
“Thank you,” he whispers against my lips. “You’ve given me everything I thought I’d never want or have. You changed me. You’ve made me want to erase all of the sins in my past and be worthy of you.”
I can’t speak. But I feel so much. His warmth surrounds me. Protects me. I feel his love. His walls have collapsed around me, and I know he’s mine, and I’m his. My heart races and I pull him closer.
“Please say something,” he begs. “Tell me I’m not crazy. Tell me that what I’m feeling isn’t one-sided. Tell me…”
“I love you,” I blurt out.
“Tell me you won’t leave,” he says, pleading with me.
I sigh and close my eyes.
“I have to, Garrett. Kai doesn’t need me anymore, not like he did six months ago. I need to go back to work. It’s time.”
His eyes are heavy and he exhales. “This isn’t goodbye. You’re not leaving me, Sam.”
I smile. “I don’t intend to. I’ll just be staying someplace else at night.”
Relief floods his face, and he pulls me against him like he never plans to let me go.
“Good,” he whispers in my ear.
“And I think that someplace else should be my bed, permanently.” I feel him smile against my cheek.
“I don’t think Aunt Peggy would approve,” I joke, and he rolls on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
“I see I have a lot of convincing to do, don’t I?” His eyes are filled with determination, and he prepares to make sure my body doesn’t forget a single inch of his.
Within seconds, he’s claimed me again. Our bodies move in perfect rhythm as if we were built only for each other. “Say it again,” he pants as his thrusts fill me.
“I love you,” I repeat over and over again.
Garrett
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 27
I WIPE THE FOOD FROM KAI’S FACE, and he’s belly laughing.
“Did you ever think you’d see this day?” Peggy asks as she rinses Kai’s bottles in the sink.
“No,” I respond. “A day like today seemed almost impossible to reach.”
I can still hear Kai’s sharp, painful cries if I let myself remember the early days with him months ago. Days when I tried to avoid hearing his screams. I disappeared for days and weeks on end. Escaping the reality that was my life.
Looking at him now, I realize the mistake I made. I should have been here to absorb every cry of pain. Every whimper. Thank God for Sam and Peggy. They did what I couldn’t do and helped Kai without hesitation.
“Thank you, Peggy,” I say.
“For what?” Your niece.
I look at her and raise my eyebrows. “You forced me to face what I didn’t want to face. And you helped me heal my son.”
“You didn’t need my help, Garrett. You just needed to find it in yourself to open your heart and love someone.”
I love your niece, too.
“Are you ready, little man?” Peggy asks. He coos and claps his hands.
“I think he is,” I say, and she lifts him out of his high chair.
“It’s such a beautiful day. I’m going to take him to the park after his appointment, if that’s okay with you?” Kai has a check-up today, and Peggy always insists on handling the doctor appointments. It’s kind of her thing with him, and I don’t complain. It’s hard to see him get shots, and I know he’s in good hands with her.
“We’ll be back in a few hours. Enjoy the quiet while you can,” Peggy says. She knows Sam is going to go back to work soon, and I’ll be adjusting to a new schedule and routine on my own.
“Okay. Take your time,” I say and rush up the stairs as soon as I hear the car pull away. Sam slept in today, and I plan to wake her up the best way that I know how.
I open the door to my room and am surprised to see Sam pacing, holding a pad and pencil. She’s in her panties and tank top and looks so fucking hot. She’s startled when I burst in and close the door behind me.
“Hey,” I say and wrap my arms around her, burying my face in her neck. She smells like vanilla and sex. Two of my favorite smells.
She’s tense in my arms, and I back away a little. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’m making a list for you to refer to when I’m gone, and I feel like I’m missing too many things.”
My heart sinks when I realize she’s really going to leave.
“Let’s not worry about the list right now,” I say and plant tiny kisses all around her lips.
She smiles and drops the pencil and pad onto the dresser. She throws herself into my arms, and we repeat last night’s performance several times.
“GARRETT?” SAM ASKS AS I NUZZLE into her breasts.
“Hmm?” I respond sleepily.
“What are you going to tell Kai about me?” she asks, and I’m suddenly wide awake.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, how are you going to explain me to him when he gets older? He’ll see me in pictures and will assume I was a major part of his life. I just want to know what you’re going to tell him.”
She’s serious, and I can’t think of what to say.
“Are you assuming you won’t be able to tell him yourself?” I ask.
“Well, maybe?”
“You’re going to tell him because I’m not letting you go. Ever.” I can’t picture Kai’s life without Sam in it. And I can’t picture my own without her next to me.
“We’re family,” I say to her, and she sucks in her breath.
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I just said. We’re family. You’re not just Kai’s nurse. You helped him heal, and you love him as if he were your own. So, yeah. Family.”
She smiles through happy tears and snuggles next to me.
“I want to know more about your family,” she says. “Your parents are great. I want to know more. Do you have aunts, uncles, cousins?”
“My parents are amazing. Mom and Bill have given me a great life. They supported my dreams of becoming a musician and never once questioned my choices. They helped create a stable and loving home that was torn from me when my father left so many years ago. I didn’t realize until recently how lucky I am to have them in my life.” I pause and reflect once again how lucky I am to have them. “My mom’s family is huge. I have four uncles and about a dozen cousins, all living in North Carolina. I’m glad they’re all so close to each other down there.”
“That’s amazing. You’re lucky to have all of them.” Sam met my parents about two months ago. I could tell that my mother adored her, and she kept throwing looks my way. I think she could sense something I wasn’t yet aware of. She looks a little sad, and I hope the talk of my big family doesn’t upset her. I don’t even know anything about hers. Maybe she has cousins out there somewhere too?