“Are you okay?” I call out to him.
He lifts his head and smiles, the sun shining behind him.
“I’m perfect,” he says and jogs to meet us. He sweeps Kai off the ground and holds him in one arm while he throws the other around me.
“I love you,” he says and kisses me tenderly on the lips.
My cell phone rings and I see Cassie’s name pop up. I answer it, and she immediately starts babbling.
“We’re all here. Where are you?” she asks.
“We’re on our way,” I say and hang up.
“Let’s do this.”
Garrett
Present
Villanova, Pennsylvania
Age 28
“CONGRATULATIONS!” THE JUDGE EXCLAIMS and taps his gavel on the bench. The crowd in the small room starts to applaud, and I kiss my son on the cheek.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the Armstrongs.” Whistles and cheers fill the room and Kai claps and giggles.
Judge Henson folds the documents and slides them into a folder. “Keep these someplace safe. We’ll have duplicates on file with the registrar if you ever need them.”
He hands the legal documents to Sam that have her name forever tied to Kai. She officially adopted him today, and the courts finalized it with a seal.
And just twenty minutes before this ceremony, the same judge married us.
I pull my wife and the mother of my child against my side and turn to greet our friends and family who have filled the judge’s chambers completely.
Nicole, Kai’s social worker, is in the back of the room wiping tears that are streaming down her face. She’s been involved with us as we got this ball in motion to make the adoption official. Her ties to Sadie and her desire to see Kai live a wonderful life helped fuel our quest to make this legal.
“Are you ready, Mrs. Armstrong?” I say into Sam’s ear. She smiles and nods her head.
“Let’s celebrate,” she says.
CARS LINE THE DRIVEWAY as we pull into our wedding reception, birthday party and adoption celebration. Everyone is here, and we enter the foyer to loud cheers and hugs. My mother takes Kai from my arms and kisses him all over his face. Bill pats me on the back and pulls me into him for a huge hug. He does the same with Sam, and we make our way through the crowd that’s gathered.
The day is a whirlwind of fun and music. In true form, by the end of the night, we all have an instrument in our hands, and Epic Fail performs an acoustic set in our backyard. Alex and Heath take turns singing some of our biggest hits, and the crowd loves it.
Sam is glowing today and floats throughout the crowd. She and Tabby spend a good amount of time chatting over the kids. Noah shows Kai how to do a somersault, and they’re both tumbling as their mother’s watch.
Sam’s friends, Cassie, Becky and Marcie, are huddled outside watching the guys do shots. I can tell that at least one of them has it bad for Heath. And he knows it too.
My parents are huddled with Peggy as they toast their white wine glasses. Peggy and my mom have really hit it off working together to plan today’s festivities.
Presents are piled by the fireplace in the den, and Kai begins to bang on the boxes. In lieu of wedding or birthday gifts, we asked that people shower Kai with love. We’ll celebrate this day every year as not only our wedding anniversary but as Kai’s Adoption Day. He’s officially spoiled beyond belief. He starts pounding on the youth drum set that Dax gave him and everyone covers their ears.
Sam catches my gaze from across the room and smiles. A smile that grabs my chest every single time. She’s perfect in every way, and I vow to never let her go again.
THE CROWD IS GONE, and Kai is sound asleep in his room. He fell asleep in a pile of wrapping paper in the den, and Sam just came down the stairs after putting him to bed.
She walks over to me and kisses my neck. “Happy birthday, Mr. Armstrong.”
“Happy birthday, Mrs. Armstrong.” I turn her to face me and kiss her tenderly. We breathe each other’s breaths and melt into each other’s arms.
We release each other and look into the backyard. It’s filled with tables and chairs, and a large tent is still standing in the corner of the yard. “What a whirlwind of a day, huh?” I ask her, and she nods.
“It was a wonderful day. One that I’ll never forget.” She smiles and fixes her gaze on the pool house.
The soft glow of lights from the bottom of the pool fills the entire pool house with dim lights. Steam rises from the water, and it looks magical. Four distinct flower arrangements float in the pool and cast large shadows in the water.
“What are those for?” I ask Sam, and she wipes a tear from her cheek.
“A bit of a memorial,” she says softly, and I understand fully.
The arrangements that float represent the members of our family that couldn’t be here today.
Two for her parents.
One for Sadie.
And one for my father.
The flowers all float together, crossing paths and riding the small ripples they each create. Together.
“I’ve forgiven him, Garrett,” she whispers as tears fall down her cheeks. “I’ve forgiven them,” she corrects herself. “Sadie didn’t intend to cause harm to her son. She just didn’t know any better. And I know that if your father could have made a different choice, he would have. I forgive them,” she says again and wipes her tears away. “It’s time that you did too.”
I reach out and wipe her tears. She leans into my hand as I sweep the curls from her face. I kiss the tip of her nose and rest my forehead against hers.
“I already have—I forgave them the day I realized we’d be together forever.”
The End
Standalone
Winter/Spring - 2016
If you or someone you know is pregnant and has a drug or alcohol problem, please seek help.
For more information about how to help yourself or a loved one, please visit one of these important websites or call the toll-free hotlines.
The Watershed Addiction Treatment Programs
www.thewatershed.com
1-855-771-3970
New Directions for Women
www.newdirectionsforwomen.org
800-939-6636
National Drug Help Hotline
800-662-4357
National Alcohol and Drug Dependence Hopeline
800-622-2255
Information on Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome:
www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/007313.htm
*may contain spoilers
Okay, so I know way too much about Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome (NAS). Way too much. This book came from a place that I was afraid to write about for so long. A time, after we adopted our son, that I wanted to forget. But also a time that I needed to remember for the rest of my life. A time that was painful while experiencing it but is now a distant memory.