Wally stared at him. Shad was perfectly comfortable with the silence that remained between them while the seconds passed. Every cut-throat lawyer and journalist was well acquainted with this little trick.
And Wally did finally break the silence, although it wasn’t as revealing as Shad hoped it would be. “So why are you here?”
“Have you forgotten that little boy you took care of for her?” Shad was feeling the same kind of anticipation he got while fishing and tentative tugs came from the end of the line. “Or do you even remember me?”
Several more seconds passed. Then Wally leaned forward, his gaze studying Shad’s face. His frown faded into surprised disbelief. When Wally finally spoke, his voice was low and raspy.
“Shadow?”
“I don’t go by that name anymore.” Shad kept his own voice low and calm.
Wally stared for a few more seconds before speaking again. “Your last name also wasn’t Delaney.”
“It’s the name of the family who adopted me.”
“Adopted?” Wally’s reaction probably wouldn’t be more credulous if Shad had told him he’d been abducted by aliens. “When were you adopted?”
“Four years after you left.”
Wally continued to stare at him. Silence passed again between them, and Shad started to realize how hard it was going to be to get him to admit anything.
“Have you figured out now why I’m here?” Shad asked.
Wally’s expression didn’t change. Many seconds passed again before he finally spoke.
“Not really. It could be one of many reasons.”
“Now you’re trying to play games with me,” Shad continued. “Denying what you did when you lived with us won’t change the truth.”
Wally leaned slightly to one side and continued to gape at Shad. “What happened to your mom?”
“Admit it.”
“She didn’t die, did she?”
Shad folded his arms over his chest and managed to lock his gaze on Wally’s. Seconds passed again, but Shad didn’t waver. He didn’t believe he’d ever managed to hold a gaze this long before with anyone besides Dulsie, and his motivation with her was entirely different.
Wally glanced down and shifted to the other side in his chair. “I don’t understand why you seem so ... aggressive. I took care of you. Don’t you remember all the places I took you? The toys I bought you? I was the one who cooked your meals and read you stories.”
Shad didn’t budge. Time continued to pass.
Wally shook his head. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
“Admit it.”
“What do you want me to admit?” Wally leaned back in his chair so far that he pushed it back slightly from the desk. “That I cared for you? I did, you know. I wished I didn’t have to leave you when I did.”
“You wished I hadn’t grown older.” Wally’s reluctance to respond couldn’t be a good sign.
“Your mom didn’t want me around anymore. She threw me out.”
Shad suspected part of his mounting annoyance was caused by Wally’s insistence at calling that woman his mom. “Either you talk about what you did, or I’m gonna walk outta here and you won’t know what I’m gonna come up with next.”
Wally seemed a little stunned. “What happened to you?”
Shad started getting to his feet. “The fact you won’t admit it tells me you’re still doing it. What you’re doing is a criminal offense, by the way. Since that’s all –”
“Wait!” Wally sat up and held out an upright palm. “You’ve got it wrong. You’ve got me wrong.”
Shad stood and leveled his gaze at Wally again. “I know what happened.”
“You don’t know everything. Please.” Wally turned his palm down and lightly patted empty air. “Sit down. You’re right. We do have a lot to talk about. You need to know that things have changed.”
As Shad settled back into the chair he felt his eyes narrow as he locked his gaze on Wally’s again. “Go on.”
“I had just graduated high school when I met your mom. You see, I wasn’t more than a kid myself. I guess you could say I hadn’t really found myself yet, so I was totally unprepared for what effect you would have on me. You were such a ... independent child. Your mom seemed to ignore you most of the time, and when she did pay attention it was usually to scold or criticize you. I felt sorry for you. When I did things to make you happy, it just brought out ... those warm, fuzzy feelings, I suppose. I had a sense of purpose. And my concern for you, well, I just acted on what I felt. It’s not like I forced you. And you didn’t mind it.” Wally seemed to study him. “Until now.”
Shad felt as though a dozen emotions were wrestling around inside him, too tangled up to sort out. “I’ve minded it ever since I finally came to understand that you used me to satisfy yourself.”
“Used?” Wally shook his head. “I’ll admit I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have done it. But I mean it when I say I cared for you. It broke my heart when your mom told me to pack up and move out.”
“If your interest in me had been anything more than physical, you wouldn’t have so easily left me there.”
“It wasn’t easy! I missed you a lot. Thought about you for a long time.”
“Before or after you found another boy to diddle?”
Wally’s expression registered mild shock. “I’m not one of those perps who hang around playgrounds with a bag of candy and a tube of lubricant.”
“Why waste your time at playgrounds when you can find an easier child within your circle of family or friends to, as you put it, take care of?”
Wally studied him for several seconds before continuing. “It was a phase. After I had to leave I realized that what we did wasn’t ... what we should have done. It wasn’t really something I wanted to do for the rest of my life. It was more like ... an experiment. I was still figuring out who I was. Just because we did that a few times doesn’t mean I’ve done it for life.”
“Three years does not equal a few times.”
“A few years then. I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m settled down now. I’m even married.” Wally held up his left hand to display an ornate gold band. “I let my picture be put in the paper, as you pointed out, because I don’t have anything to fear or to hide. Don’t condemn me on a misjudgment I made in my youth.”
“Pedophilia isn’t a misjudgment. It’s a psychosexual disorder than doesn’t just go away.”
“I thought so.” Wally nodded. “You’ve put me in a category, made an armchair diagnosis without consulting me. What happened with you hasn’t been going on for all my life.”
“Who in their right mind would be attracted to a child?” More conflicting emotions tumbled inside Shad.
“A confused young man who probably isn’t in his right mind at the time. Listen, what is it you want from me? A settlement?” Wally’s eyes narrowed. “All you’d accomplish is tearing my life apart by dragging me into court. I know you can’t be so angry at me you’d put yourself through that kind of hell just to make me suffer. Extortion, then? Who here is the lawyer?”
Shad frowned. “I’ll do whatever it takes to end the suffering of others.”
“What others?” Wally leaned forward. “My wife? Your wife? Aren’t they innocent? Do you really want to drag them through the chaos you’d put them through?”
Shad realized Wally must have noticed the plain gold band he wore on his own left ring finger. “I know single mothers with young sons aren’t that hard to come by. Why did you marry an older woman with grown sons?”
“Excuse me?”
“Have you decided the gaming store is a better place to pick up new victims?”
“Victims?” Wally leaned back in his chair again. “First, I keep telling you I haven’t done anything like that since your mom threw me out. Second, I can’t believe you would think of yourself as a victim. I never forced you to do anything. In fact, there were times you were the one who started something.”