Shad’s gut stirred.
There was something he was missing. Shad’s experience had made him sensitive to abuse upon others, but apparently his formal training was unable to identify and name what was prickling at his conscience right now.
“I’ve told you why I believe the divorce is in your best interests.” Shad studied Charissa’s face in the hope he might be able to ascertain something in her expression. “Now you need to tell me why you believe it isn’t.”
Charissa stared at the book on her lap. “People aren’t supposed to get divorced.”
“I agree.” Shad noticed that her statement seemed to settle into his subconscious as though it were another ingredient added to the simmering pot of his limited intuition.
“Then why are you a divorce lawyer?”
Shad’s smirk was entirely involuntary. “I’m not a divorce lawyer. Most of what I do has nothing to do with divorce. And when I do take on a case like that, it’s only when I need to make sure that the kids don’t pay the full price.”
Charissa frowned. “Whaduya mean, full price?”
“Sometimes ... one parent is so mad at the other one, they ... forget that as a parent they’re supposed to put their kids’ needs ahead of their own wants. My goal is to make it less hard on the kids.”
“But if you believe people shouldn’t get divorced, why don’t you just, you know, stop it?”
“I don’t have that power.” Shad wanted to spend less time explaining himself and more listening to Charissa, but he had to use his words to finish building this bridge between them. “Even God allows for divorce when someone breaks the covenant of marriage, and He Himself established that covenant.”
Charissa frowned as she looked at him. “God doesn’t like divorce.”
“I agree.” Again her statement lingered in his subconscious. “But God gave us free will, and due to the hardness of our hearts he gave us a way to escape a broken covenant.”
Charissa’s frown melted slightly into a more quizzical expression. “I don’t get it.”
“I don’t blame you.” Shad drew a deep breath as he tried to distill what his family had taught him. “You see, if we all followed God’s law, there would be no need for things like jail or even divorce. But God gave us the freedom to make choices, and some people choose to do what feels good at the moment instead of what God would want them to do. Some people choose to break their marriage vows and refuse to stop breaking the vows, which makes it actually better for their spouses to be away from them than to stay married to them. You see, the covenant is already broken. The divorce just makes it final, or at least that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
Charissa’s gaze seemed to be directed at the door behind him. Several seconds passed before she responded.
“Who broke it?”
“What?”
Her gaze redirected to Shad. “Was it Mom or Dad who broke the coven-tent?”
Shad stared at her. He didn’t want to answer the question. Although he unequivocally placed the responsibility upon Demetri, Shad also didn’t want to alienate Charissa from her father. As cruel as the man could be, Demetri also exhibited warmth that Charissa could benefit from. If she had supervised visits with her father, Charissa would at least experience the best Demetri had to offer. Children needed fathers.
“It doesn’t matter,” Shad finally replied. “All that matters is that we’re gonna take care of you.”
Charissa’s gaze drifted back to the book but she didn’t really look at it. When she spoke, even Shad could recognize the sorrow in her voice.
“I know why you don’t wanna tell me. It’s why Mom’s dying, isn’t it?”
That feeling in his gut started to scramble like a frantic animal trying to escape. “What?”
“Mom broke the coven-tent. So God’s making her die.”
A different sensation of horror began seeping through him. “No. That’s not why she’s dying.” Shad also sensed that the unknown identity of the abuse that eluded him was drawing a little nearer, but it was still like a chink in the wall the animal couldn’t quite reach. “Is that what your dad told you?”
“Dad said ... he said she’s a slutty bitch that only thinks about herself. He said she wants me back just to be mean to us. He said she wants to get a divorce because that way you’ll make more money. And she’s mad at God for making her die.”
Shad stared speechless at the girl for many seconds as a chill crept through him. Language, one of those characteristics of humanity that separated us from the animals and was part of our likeness to God, escaped him as Shad considered the power of words.
God spoke, and the world became. Many Native American tribes concealed their children’s true names so that witches couldn’t use that knowledge to conjure curses against them. Celtic peoples believed that talented “poet-seers” could wreak havoc against kings by chanting satires about them. Among the Jews gossip was considered to be the verbal equivalent of murder. And Demetri Simms, using words filled with malice, made his daughter believe that her mother was a rebellious infidel who deserved to be struck down by a vengeful god.
Many people didn’t believe that verbal abuse was true abuse. Everyone knew the rhyme about sticks and stones. But verbal abuse wasn’t the kind of banter that Karl and Jill sometimes traded. Insidious on its own, it was also the foundation for other expressions of abuse. Shad would have dared anybody to sit in the same room with him right now and deny that words had the power to maim and even kill.
“That’s not true.” Those were the only words he could finally think of.
“It has to be.” Charissa gazed at her book. “And if I don’t make you stop the divorce, something bad will happen to me, too.”
So that was it. Demetri had threatened her. He had placed adult responsibility on the small girl’s shoulders and then warned of dire consequences if she didn’t succeed. In that one statement Shad found himself beginning to understand Charissa’s behavior and other things she’d said.
He found words came more readily now. “Your dad can’t hurt you. I’ll see to it you’re never left alone with him again.”
“Not Dad.” Charissa shook her head. “God will do it. He’ll make something bad happen to me. Like how He’s making Mom die.” Her expression was somber again as she looked at Shad. “You can’t keep God away from me.”
Shad’s breath seemed to become thin as though somebody had knocked the wind out of him. He remembered something else about Demetri Simms. Monica admitted that in high school and shortly afterwards she had been a “wild child” who partied with friends because it was usually how she could get her father’s attention. When her own mother suddenly died of a bacterial infection, Monica decided to turn her life around, which included a new routine of attending church. That was where she met Demetri, and Monica believed she’d found her dream man. He was handsome, athletic, intelligent, fun-loving ... and devout. How could she go wrong with someone who was so obviously pious and still willing to overlook her former transgressions?
“I don’t want to keep God away from you,” he replied. “God is your protection, not your adversary. He isn’t gonna punish you, and He isn’t punishing your mom.”
Charissa frowned again, but sadness still lingered on her. “Dad said He is. But you can’t say why she’s dying.”
“God does things we don’t understand. But my parents taught me that when bad things happen, that gives people the chance to do something good. And every time people do something good, they’re fulfilling God’s will. And every time God’s will is fulfilled, that’s a miracle. So every time something bad happens, it gives us the chance to perform miracles.”