Jay stared at Michael and his eyes went down to his lap. “Who was Lappy?” Jay looked up and his eyes were moist. “You don’t remember. You’ve forced everything good you knew out and left nothing but anger and pain in its place.”
Jay blew out a breath and looked at Michael, “Who was Lappy?”
“His younger sister who loved sitting on his lap and listen to him sing to her.” Jay lowered his head again and Michael said, “But I bet you do know who Fred was!”
Jay’s eyes narrowed again and he sneered, “The Father who disowned him.”
“You remember everything bad that ever happened to Eric and nothing good. You’ve erased the true essence of his being and left nothing but a dark hole in its place. Let me show you who Eric really was and how I remember him.”
Michael pushed a button on his console and the wall monitor came on. Jay turned around to see it. He saw Eric standing in a small park at Fleet Academy and smiling, “Will you hurry up and get that camera going.”
“Hey, give me a minute. You know how I am with machinery.” Jay recognized Michael’s voice. “Ok, are you ready?”
Eric looked at the camera and started laughing, “Give me a minute. You look ridiculous.” Eric bent over and laughed and after a minute he took a breath and said, “Let’s get this done.”
“Hey, you have to record me next. Don’t wear yourself out.” There was a pause and Michael said, “Recording….now. Mr. Yomogura, why have you chosen to be a warrior fighting for our survival?”
Eric smiled and said, “Because I will defend those I love and humanity against those that threaten it.”
“But why?”
“Love is reason enough. Love is what drives all of us to be bigger and better than we can be alone. It is those that have given so much to us as we grow up that deserve all we have for their efforts. What I’ve chosen to do is worth doing and I’m excited at the prospect of making a difference.”
“Aren’t you afraid of dying?”
Eric shook his head and paused as he looked directly at the camera, “Everyone is afraid of dying and death deserves our respect. No one wants to die and I feel that way as well. But we will all die one day, there’s no avoiding it. I just hope and pray that I can make my life, and death, mean something.”
“What message do you want your classmates to hear?”
Eric looked at the camera and smiled. “Make your life count! Never accept giving less than your best effort at whatever you do. If you live this way, then at the end, you’ll die in peace.”
Jay sat in his chair and wept. “I miss him so much!”
Michael stared at Jay, “He was the only family you ever had.” Jay nodded. Michael sighed, “We were assigned to make that recording by our sociology teacher. Eric chose me to work with him because he liked my enthusiasm.”
Jay looked at him, “May I see what he recorded?”
“You want to hear his voice again?” Jay nodded. “I didn’t record a video. When the professor asked me to present mine, I told him that what Eric said was what I believed and I wouldn’t diminish the message by saying it differently. Ten other cadets threw their recordings away and agreed with me that Eric had really said it all. His video was chosen as the best in our class.”
Jay sat in his chair and managed to stop his tears. Michael said, “Eric told me about you.” Jay’s head snapped up. “He said that he had found someone that was incredibly brilliant and whose spirit brightened his day. He insisted that you were the example of how he wanted to live.” Jay continued to stare at Michael and then heard, “Now look at what you’ve made yourself? You’ve destroyed the very things Eric loved in you and you diminish his memory. What do you think he feels about what you’ve become?”
“I’M THE ONE THAT SHOULD HAVE DIED NOT HIM!!! HOW CAN YOU SIT THERE IN JUDGEMENT OF ME FOR MY LOSS WHEN YOU’VE NEVER EXPERIENCED IT!!?”
“But he died, not you. What would you have wanted him to do if you had died? Would you want him to become the creature you’ve made yourself?” Michael stood up, “You should have done your homework before you came here and I suspect that if Eric were in your place he would have.”
“What do you mean!?”
“When I was seven years old, the Goran launched a nuclear missile at the city where I lived on Earth. My mother was out sailing that day and she was outside the force field when the missile exploded. She was vaporized and I never saw her again. You wallow in your self-pity thinking you’re the only one that ever lost someone they loved. The difference between you and me is that I chose to make myself someone my mother would be proud of. You’ve chosen to become something that Eric would have abhorred.” Michael stood up and walked toward the door.
“Where are you going?”
Michael stopped and looked at Jay, “I brought you here because I really did have a message from Eric that you should hear. You are free to go and kill yourself. I know that’s what you’ve been trying to do since Eric died in the car wreck. I just ask that you don’t take anyone with you when you do it. You can stay here and watch the message alone. I can’t abide seeing what you’ve done to yourself.” Michael left the room.
After ten minutes, Jay stood up and walked behind the huge desk. He glanced at it and immediately understood every button on it. He pressed three buttons and then started the recording of Eric playing on a loop. He moved the chair to just in front of the monitor and stared at it without moving.
Michael kept checking in with Averel and she kept telling him that Jay was still fixated on the video. Finally, Michael had enough. He went to his office and said, “You can take a copy of the recording with you; however, I need my office.”
Jay stood up, went to Michael’s desk, pressed four buttons, and removed a data-stick. He took it out of the reader and said, “I’ve already recorded it.”
“Then why are you still here?”
“Your monitor is a lot better than mine.”
Michael nodded and said, “Be well, Lieutenant.”
Jay looked at Michael, “Why did you call me in here?”
“To see Eric’s recording.”
“Why did you want me to see it?”
“That’s really none of your business.”
“But it is. You had an ulterior motive. What was it?”
“I wanted to see if you were everything Jan and Josey say you are.”
“And if I am?”
“I thought you might remember Eric and turn around. However, I gave up on that notion pretty quickly.”
“You think I’m a hopeless case?”
“Aren’t you?”
Jay blew out a breath, “Honestly, I came here prepared to kill you if you lied to me.”
“That was never going to happen.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“You were scanned, you didn’t bring a weapon.”
“What makes you think I’d need a weapon?” Quicker than Jay could see, Michael was behind him with his head in a choke hold. Jay started to black out but faster than Jay could think, he was back behind his desk. Jay shook his head and tilted his head, “Perhaps I was somewhat hasty in my statement.”
“Perhaps you were.”
“How did you do that?”
“I’m the product of a Welken-Human father.”
“I’ve heard about that but didn’t really believe it. So you really had no fear at my coming here.”
No, I didn’t.”
“So you did this for me?”
Michael stared at him and shook his head, “No, I did it for Eric.”
Jay started nodding slowly and then said, “That’s why I’m your man.”
“What?”
“That’s what I needed to hear. I’ll help you any way I can but you should understand that I will not shy away from situations that are inherently dangerous. I long to join Eric.” Michael stared at Jay and he started nodding again, “But before that happens, I need to be someone he would be proud of.”