“Please, El ie. Just listen to me for a second.”
I couldn’t pretend any longer. Turning around, I stared into Michael’s pale green eyes. Keeping hold of my arm, he whispered to me in a rush, as if he was scared I’d run off.
“El ie, I’ve never been more certain about anything than my feelings for you. In fact, they’re so strong that they shock me sometimes. I pushed you away the other night because I wanted you too much. And I was afraid I’d scare you if I gave in to my feelings.”
Michael stared into my eyes as he spoke, never wavering in his gaze or his words. His confidence made me feel doubly mortified. How could I have refused to give him a chance to explain over the past few days? I broke our connection and looked down at my feet. I wasn’t sure I deserved his persistence.
He put his finger under my chin and lifted my face so he could look into my eyes. But I kept them averted. “El ie, you did nothing to be ashamed of on Saturday night. I wanted you, too. I slowed us down only because I wanted things to be perfect between us.”
My cheeks turned bright pink, and I continued staring down at the ground. “Me too, Michael. I was just so embarrassed. I’ve never behaved like that—felt like that—in my life, and then to have you—”
He placed his finger over my lips and whispered. “Shh. El ie, I’ve never behaved or felt like that either. And I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“Real y?” I asked without shifting my gaze, too scared that if I looked at him he might just disappear like a character from one of my dreams or suddenly rebuff me again. Once again, Michael seemed just too good to be true.
“Real y. Can we start again?”
Final y, I looked into his eyes. I smiled sheepishly and said, “I’d like that.”
Michael led me down the steep library steps to his waiting car and opened the door for me. As I waited for him to get into the driver’s side, I noticed a couple walking up the stairs to the library. Their attractiveness caught my attention at first, and then I realized that I recognized the girl. It was Missy. She was walking very close to a tal , blond guy who definitely wasn’t Charlie, the senior I thought she’d been seeing since last year.
The driver’s door opened, and Michael slid in. Before he said a single word, he leaned in to kiss me. The chaste action was a far cry from the night before, but the gesture helped assuage my fears and drove out al thoughts of Missy and whomever she might be dating these days.
“Do you mind if we drive down to the ocean? There’s a great spot where we can watch the sunset,” Michael asked.
“Sure, that sounds great.”
To my relief, Michael launched into safe topics like homework and classes during the drive to the shore. I hardly noticed the change in scenery because I was so engrossed in Michael. And happy to be back with him.
We pul ed to the side of the road and got out of the car. Michael had parked at the flat top of a steep cliff that overlooked a beach. I crept over to the edge and looked down onto a picturesque cove that I’d never seen before, not in al my years living in Til inghast.
“What is this place?”
“It’s cal ed Ransom Beach.”
The sun was just beginning to descend. Its fal cast purple shadows over the white sand beach below. Michael grabbed my hand and started to lead me down a jagged trail cut almost invisibly into the cliff face. He directed us so expertly down the precipitous path that I realized he must have come this way many times before. In minutes, we scuttled down the rocks onto the sand where the cove’s huge, craggy boulders wrapped around us like a cold embrace.
Michael put his arm around my shoulder to shelter me from the moaning wind, as we watched the sun. We made smal talk about how pretty it was, and then he asked quietly, “I’d like to talk about last night, if that’s okay.”
I stiffened and then tried to lighten the mood a little. “We haven’t talked about it enough already?”
He laughed. “Almost. I want to talk to you about the reason I think we respond so strongly to each other, El ie.”
“You do?”
“Have you ever sensed that you were different from other people?”
I had to laugh again, and not just because he was acting so melodramatic. Looking up at him, I answered honestly. “If by ‘different’ you mean more awkward than most people, then yes.”
“Awkward? You’re kidding, right?”
I shook my head. Even though I found my gawkiness funny sometimes, I definitely wasn’t kidding.
“If you’re real y serious, then you’ve got to understand that you are the only one who sees you that way. Everyone else sees you as smart and intimidating and worldly and pretty.”
I almost snorted with laughter, but then stopped myself. “Yeah, right.”
“Piper and Missy have been real y friendly to you lately, haven’t they?”
“Yes . . .” I wondered how he knew and where he was going with his question.
“But they stil ignore you sometimes, don’t they?”
“Yes.”
“Idiots like Piper and Missy seek you out at the same time they ostracize you because you scare them. They don’t know what to do with someone like you. Someone attractive and bright and completely uninterested in their games. Someone that they sense is different and special, but they don’t know in what way.”
I was genuinely shocked. “Come on, Michael. I already like you; you don’t have to flatter me. I am not different and special.” My parents had worked long and hard to make me feel smart and important and loved, but at the same time, were always careful to remind me that I was just a regular girl, just like everyone else. With responsibilities to other people and the planet.
“If only you could see how beautiful and unique you real y are,” Michael said, and leaned in to kiss me.
The howl of the wind and the increasing chil receded as I lost myself to him. He wrapped himself around me and kissed me with rapidly growing intensity. Just like when we were in the gym and his car, I could only see and think and feel Michael.
Gently, so gently, he pressed me back into the sand. His kisses grew more insistent, and I enjoyed his mounting excitement. In a familiar motion, he parted my lips and ran his tongue along my tongue. He swept his tongue back into his own mouth and ran it along his own teeth, and I then felt his tongue lightly touch my own.
A metal ic taste flooded my mouth. Michael had caused the slightest drop of his blood to drip onto my tongue. The sand and the wind and the cove disappeared, and I experienced a powerful flash—much stronger than I’d ever experienced before. I saw myself on that first day of school, walking down the hal way with Ruth after the episode with her and Missy. I watched as I whipped my head in Michael’s direction, and I couldn’t believe how I appeared. My pale skin and eyes looked striking against the sleek blackness of my hair, and my long, lithe body was outlined in a glowing light. As seen through Michael’s eyes, I was indeed beautiful, almost ethereal y so.
Just then, the upper school hal way faded, and I saw another, more disconcerting image of myself. I watched as I elevated to Michael’s second-floor bedroom window and stretched out my hand in an invitation to flight. It was a scene from my dream.
I drew back from Michael’s kiss, and the image disappeared. Pushing myself up from the sand, I asked, “What was that? How did you know—”
“How did I know that you saw images like that? That you get insights into other people’s thoughts and feelings and baggage?”
“Yes.” I could barely breathe.
“How did I know that you dream of flying? And that, last night, you flew by my bedroom window in your dream?”
“Yes.”
“El ie, I told you that you are different. We are different. And that difference means we are meant for each other.”
Chapter Eleven
Different—what did Michael mean by different? I was too freaked out to ask. I was also too terrified—of him, the images, even myself—to stand there next to him on that remote beach as darkness fel around us. I felt betrayed, too. Had he orchestrated the whole reconciliation just so he could bring me here and frighten me? And how did he know about my flashes? About my dreams? Something was off. I backed away from him and headed toward the rocky pathway leading to the road.