And with an eloquence which rather surprised me, for perhaps ten minutes I explained him his duty to his family. I appealed to his sense of decency.
After this, Claude and Eustace refused to talk to each other. I’d got accustomed to thinking that they would stay with me forever, when Claude came to me one Friday morning and told me the news, I could hardly believe.
“Bertie,” he said, “I’ve been thinking it over.”
“What over?” I said.
“The whole thing. This staying in London when I ought to be in South Africa. It isn’t fair,” said Claude warmly. “It isn’t right. Bertie, old man, I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“You are?” I asked.
“Yes. If,” said Claude, “you won’t mind sending old Jeeves out to buy a ticket for me. I’m afraid I’ll have to borrow some money from you, old man. You don’t mind?”
“That’s great!” I said, clutching his hand fervently.
“That’s all right, then. Oh, I say, you won’t say a word to Eustace about this, will you?”
“But isn’t he going, too?”
Claude shuddered.
“No, thank heaven! No, not a word to Eustace.”
“Jeeves,” I said, coming into the kitchen. “Go out to the ticket office and book a berth on tomorrow’s boat for Mr Claude. He is leaving us, Jeeves.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Mr Claude does not wish any mention of this to be made to Mr Eustace.”
“No, sir. Mr Eustace made the same proviso when he desired me to obtain a berth on tomorrow’s boat for himself.”
I looked at the man.
“Is he going, too?”
“Yes, sir.”
“This is strange.”
“Yes, sir.”
I wanted to ask Jeeves more questions but those spats still formed a barrier.
“So that’s that, Jeeves,” I said. “The episode is concluded.”
“Yes, sir.”
I left him.
They had left stealthily and separately immediately after breakfast. I was lying back on the old sofa, gazing peacefully up at the flies on the ceiling and feeling what a wonderful world this was, when Jeeves came in with a letter.
“A messenger-boy has brought this, sir.”
I opened the envelope, and the first thing that fell out was a five-pound note.
“Great Lord!” I said. “What’s this?”
The letter was written in pencil, and was quite brief;
Dear Bertie,
Will you give enclosed to your man. He has saved my life. This is the first happy day I’ve had for a week.
Yours,
M.W.
Jeeves was standing holding out the fiver, which had fluttered to the floor.
“Take it,” I said. “It seems to be for you.”
“Sir?”
“I say that fiver is for you, apparently. Miss Wardour sent it.”
“That was extremely kind of her, sir.”
“What is she sending you fivers for? She says you saved her life.”
Jeeves smiled gently.
“She over-estimates my services, sir.”
“But what were your services, dash it?”
“It was in the matter of Mr Claude and Mr Eustace, sir. I was hoping that she would not tell about it, as I did not wish you to think that I had been taking a liberty.”
“What do you mean?”
“I chanced to be in the room while Miss Wardour was complaining about Mr Claude and Mr Eustace. I felt that it might be excusable if I gave her some advice.”
“Good Lord!”
“It occurred to me that, were Miss Wardour to inform Mr Claude and Mr Eustace independently that she proposed sailing for South Africa to take up a theatrical engagement, the desired effect might be produced. It appears that my anticipations were correct, sir. The young gentlemen ate it, if I may use the expression.”
“Jeeves,” I said, “we Woosters may make mistakes, but we are never too proud to admit it—you are the best!”
“Thank you very much, sir.”
“Oh, but I say!” A ghastly thought had struck me. “When they get on the boat and find she isn’t there, won’t they come back?”
“I anticipated that possibility, sir. At my suggestion, Miss Wardour informed the young gentlemen that she proposed to travel overland to Madeira and join the vessel there.”
“And where do they stop after Madeira?”
“Nowhere, sir.”
For a moment I just lay back, letting the idea of the thing soak in. There seemed to me to be only one flaw.
“The only pity is,” I said, “that on a large boat like that they will be able to avoid each other. I mean, I should have liked to feel that Claude was having Eustace’s society and vice versa.”
“I think that that will be so, sir. I booked a two-berth room. Mr Claude will occupy one berth, Mr Eustace the other.”
I sighed.
“Have you started packing yet, Jeeves?” I asked.
“Packing, sir?”
“For Harrogate. I’ve got to go there today with Sir George.”
“Of course, yes, sir. I forgot to mention it. Sir George rang up on the telephone this morning while you were still asleep, and said that he had changed his plans. He does not intend to go to Harrogate.”
“Oh, I say, how wonderful!”
“I thought you might be pleased, sir.”
“What made him change his plans? Did he say?”
“No, sir. But his man, Stevens[219], says, that he is feeling much better and does not now require a rest. I took the liberty of giving Stevens the recipe for that cocktail of mine, of which you have always approved so much. Stevens tells me that Sir George informed him this morning that he is feeling a new man.”
Well, there was only one thing to do, and I did it. I’m not saying it didn’t hurt, but there was no alternative.
“Jeeves,” I said, “those spats.”
“Yes, sir?”
“You really dislike them?”
“Intensely, sir.”
“You don’t think time might induce you to change your views?”
“No, sir.”
“All right, then. Very well. Say no more. You may burn them.”
“Thank you very much, sir. I have already done so. Before breakfast this morning. A quiet grey is far more suitable, sir. Thank you, sir.”
Vocabulary
A
abruptly – adv отрывисто, резко, внезапно
absence – n отсутствие
acceded – adj согласившийся
acquaintance – n знакомство
adequate – adj достаточный; соответствующий, адекватный;
affably – adv приветливо; любезно; мило
affinity – n сходство; родство; связь; близость
aggrieved – adj огорчённый, удручённый, обиженный
allowance – n содержание
anticipate – v ускорять, опережать; предвидеть; предчувствовать; ожидать; предвкушать
aspen – 1) n осина; 2) adj осиновый
augment – v увеличивать; прибавлять
authority – n власть; полномочие
avert – v отводить; отвлекать
aware – adj знающий
awfully – adv ужасно, страшно
awkward – adj неуклюжий, неловкий