He didn’t speak again until they were parked across the street from the housing development. His hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and he was looking straight ahead. “You may not need me, but you want me.” He turned and slid across the seat until he was touching her thigh-to-thigh. “Do you think I can’t feel it? I know damn well you can feel me. We’re both sending out signals that are basic as hell.”
She couldn’t breathe. Her hand reached out for the door handle.
“No, stay.” His hand was suddenly covering hers. “Let me show you just a little of what we’d have. I’ll stop whenever you say.” His hand moved slowly up her wrist to her upper arm. “You feel so good… Silky, and yet every muscle tense and ready.” His hand moved up to cup her throat. “And your heartbeat…”
Her heart was jumping out of her chest. The instant he’d touched her, she’d felt as if every nerve in her body had been electrified. She could feel the crispness of his shirt against her body and breathed in the scent of him. Spice or something else that was making her dizzy.
No, it was Gallo who was making her dizzy. His mouth was on hers, his tongue probing, playing.
She made a sound deep in her throat and moved closer.
“Yes.” His hands had slid down to undo the buttons of her shirt. “That’s right. Give me your tongue. I want the taste of you…”
She arched with a cry as his hands cupped her breasts. They were swelling, the nipples hardening, peaking.
Then they were free; he’d unfastened her bra, and his fingers were pressing, pinching, squeezing.
His mouth was on her breast, his tongue… his teeth…
Heat. Tingling between her thighs as his hand reached down to cup, rub. She shuddered as the tingling became a burning hunger.
“Not here. Let me take you someplace,” he said hoarsely. “I’ll make it good…”
She didn’t want to go anywhere. She didn’t care. She wanted to stay there and let him do whatever he wanted to her. Fill her, stop the burning, the hunger…
Hunger. The world was full of hunger that could have only one satiation. His face, sensual, lips full, his breath hot, his hands…
“Eve, I don’t want to make it with you in the back of this car.” His breath was hot on her breasts as he spoke. “If you don’t want to go up to your place, I know a motel near the airport. But we have to hurry.”
She looked up at him dazedly. What was he talking about?
“Eve?”
A motel. The backseat of the car.
What was she doing? A quick hump in the back of the car? She was behaving like an animal in heat. Oh, she was in heat. She was mindless and wanting only one thing, one act.
But she didn’t have to act like that animal.
She sat up straight and pushed him away. She was panting, her voice uneven. “No.”
His arms tightened for a moment. “What?”
“No.” She had to get out of this car. Or she wouldn’t go at all. “I said no. You proved your point. But it’s not much of a triumph for you, is it? I don’t know enough about this to fight it.”
“Triumph? What the hell are you talking about? I’m not trying to-” He drew a deep, ragged breath. “I just wanted to show you what we’d be missing. But then I couldn’t stop. I don’t think I’d ever be the one who can stop.”
“You showed me.” She was trying to button her shirt. Damn, her hands were shaking. “Are you satisfied?”
“Hell, no, and neither are you.”
“I’ll get over it.” She was opening the car door. “I’d never set eyes on you until a few days ago. Now I’m supposed to jump in bed with you?”
“If that’s what we both want.” He leaned forward, his face lean, hard, intense in the dashboard lights. “Why not, Eve? What difference does it make? We need it, we want it. Let’s take it. We can have a hell of a good time for the next few weeks. Then you’ll be rid of me. No strings.”
She got out of the car. “Good-bye.”
“No way. I’m not giving up. Why should I? You’re on my side.” He said softly, “Think about it. Think about how it felt. How it could feel. It’s going to happen sometime. Why not with me? I’ll protect you. No responsibilities. All you’ll know is the pleasure. I’ll show you a real good time. Okay?”
She didn’t answer. She was hurrying across the street to the development. Almost running.
Because she wanted to turn around and get back into that car.
She glanced back over her shoulder as she reached the front entrance. He was still sitting there, watching her.
She slammed the door and ran up the stairs to the apartment.
She leaned back against the door staring into the darkness. Her heart was beating hard, her breath coming in harsh gasps. She felt hot and weak and aching. All because he had touched her with his hands, with his mouth.
It’s going to happen sometime. Why not with me?
And she wanted it with him. She had never felt like this with anyone else before.
But she had never felt so weak and powerless before, either. The whole world around her was chaos, and she could only survive if she felt strong and able to handle that chaos. At that moment, she felt she couldn’t handle anything.
A kind of wild chemistry.
Why had it happened? Maybe she could have resisted an ordinary attraction, but not one that was shaking her to her core.
She dropped down on the couch and huddled there. She could feel the soft material of the couch against her body.
Naked and moving.
How would it feel to be naked with him above her, in her?
Her stomach clenched, and she bit her lower lip as her whole body tensed.
Crazy. Intense. Feverish.
But it wasn’t going to go away. She knew that now.
She had to have it. She had to have him.
SHE LAY THERE FOR HOURS UNTIL the intense storm of feeling passed.
No, not really passed. Just faded into the background. She knew it would come back. As soon as the thought of him returned.
But at least she could think. She wasn’t as mindless as she had been when John had been touching her.
She got up and went to the window. It was going to happen. She was going to have sex with John Gallo. Accept it. No big deal. Most of the girls in her class at school had been screwing around for the last couple of years. Chastity had little value on the streets or in the projects.
It was a big deal to her. She would not be like her mother. This was her life, her body. She didn’t want to have to trust anyone with either.
Only herself. She had to be in control.
And she had almost lost that control tonight. Whenever she was near John, that control shattered. So she had to be prepared.
She had to be safe.
She slowly turned away from the window and went to the bathroom. She opened the cabinet under the sink and took out her mother’s pretty pink patent box. There were four discs still in the box. Her mother usually got a six-month prescription for birth-control pills.
Eve stared down at the discs with the circle of tiny pills. She had never thought of birth control because she had been sure that she would not need it for a long time. When her life was on track, when it was convenient. But she knew that Sandra’s pills worked for her mother and let her be in control of the situation. Control. Nothing was more important than being able to be in control of this insanely volatile emotional roller-coaster ride. Yet it felt strange and a little frightening to realize what she was going to do.
But she had to be safe.
She took one of the discs and put the rest back into Sandra’s box.
Now she was in control. She didn’t have to rely on anyone but herself. She could take what she wanted.