“Oh, you’re crazy,” she said impatiently. “You must know hundreds of women. Why bother with me?”
Yes . . . why bother with her? Why bother with her when I had Carol? Why waste my time beating against a stone wall when every time I met her it became clearer that she would never accept me? I did not know. But I had to go on, although I knew that unless something unexpected happened we would always be on the same hopeless footing.
“Never mind the other women,” I said, pulling up outside Nikabob’s. “They don’t count. It’s you that matters.”
She made an impatient gesture with her hands. “You must be crazy,” she said. “I’ve told you you mean nothing to me. I can’t keep telling you, can I? You mean absolutely nothing to me and you never will mean anything to me.”
I got out of the car and walked stiffly round to open the door for her. “All right,” I said. “What have you got to worry about? And besides, if you’re so sure about that, why do you come out with me?”
She gave me a quick, hard look. For a moment I thought I had gone too far and that she was going to leave me flat. Then she suddenly giggled.
“Well, I’ve got to live, haven’t I?”
I felt the blood leave my face, but I did not pause nor look at her. We entered Nikabob’s and sat down at a table away from the entrance.
Everything that I suspected and did not wish to admit was in that one damnable sentence. “Well, I’ve got to live, haven’t I?”
After I had given the order I told the waiter to bring me a bottle of Scotch. I wanted a drink badly. We did not speak until the whisky came.
“You’re a cold blooded little thing, aren’t you?” I said, pouring out two large drinks.
“Do you think so?” She looked bored.
It was all going wrong. I would have to make an effort if the lunch was going to be at all successful. It was no use leaving it to her.
“Heard from Jack?” I asked, abruptly changing the subject.
“I hear every week.”
“Is he all right?”
“Mmmm . . . he’s fine.”
“Coming home?”
“Mmmm.”
“How long will he stay?”
“Oh . . . a week . . . ten days, I don’t know.”
“So I shan’t see you?”
She shook her head. There was a blank faraway look in her eyes and I felt she was scarcely listening to what I was saying.
“I would like to meet your husband,” I said deliberately.
She looked at me sharply. “Would you?”
“Why not?”
“You would like him.” Her eyes became animated. “Everyone likes him . . . but, I’m the only one who really knows him. They think he’s such a nice person.” She pretended to sneer, but it did not come off. “It infuriates me sometimes to see the way people flock around him . . . if they only knew how he treated me.” I could see she did not mind how he treated her. Whatever he did would be all right with her. I could see that in every line in her face and in the expression in her eyes.
“Well, do we meet?”
“All right. I’ll speak to him.”
The waiter brought lobster soup. It was very good, but Eve scarcely touched it.
“You’re not eating.”
She lifted her shoulders. “I’m not hungry. After all I’ve only just got up.”
I pushed my plate impatiently away. “Are you sorry you came?”
“No . . . I wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t wanted to.”
“You’ve never learned to say anything complimentary, have you?”
“I don’t need to. You can take me as I am, or leave me.”
“Do you always treat your men like this?”
“Why not?”
“Not very wise, is it?”
“Well, they always come back. Why should I worry?”
She had no need to worry. I knew she was speaking the truth. If her other men were like me, then they always would come back.
I looked at her. The arrogant expression in her eyes made me want to hurt her. “You know best, of course,” I said evenly, “but, after all it’s not as if you’re getting any younger. A time’ll come when they won’t come back.”
Her mouth twisted and she shrugged. “It’s too late to learn new tricks now,” she said. “I’ve never run after any one yet and I don’t intend to start now.”
“You know, Eve,” I went on. “I don’t think you’re happy. This is a pretty ghastly kind of life you lead, isn’t it? Why don’t you give it up?”
“You’re all the same,” she said. “They all say that, but they don’t do anything about it. Besides, what do you think I’d do? Become a drudge around the house? Not me!”
“Is Jack going to keep travelling? Isn’t there a chance that he’d make a home for you?”
She looked past me across the room. Her eyes softened as she brooded. “We had planned to open a road-house.” She lifted her shoulders rather hopelessly. “Oh, I don’t know.”
The waiter brought the second course and then when he had gone away, she said suddenly, “You wouldn’t believe it, but I cried last night.” She looked quickly at me to see if I were going to laugh at her. “You wouldn’t think I’d do that, would you?”
“Why did you?”
“I was lonely . . . I’d had a rotten day.” Her face tightened. “You don’t know how rotten some men can be. You don’t know how lonely this life is. You can’t trust anyone. They’re all after what they can get.”
“Of course, it’s a rotten life,” I said. “No good can possibly come from it. Can’t you earn money in some other way?”
Her face became cold and wooden. “No,” she snapped. “How can I? I’m a fool to grumble, only I just feel low today.” She drew a deep breath and said, “How I hate men!”
“Something’s upset you. What is it?”
“Oh, nothing. Never mind, Clive, I’m not going to talk about it.”
“Someone treated you badly last night.”
“Yes. He tried to gyp me . . .” She snapped her fingers irritably, “I’m not going to talk about it.”
“I hope he didn’t get away with it,” I said curious to know what happened.
Her eyes showed deep anger and spite. “He didn’t and he’ll never be allowed in my house again.” She suddenly pushed her plate away. “We’d better go back.” She had only picked at her food.
I beckoned to the waiter. “Look, Eve,” I said, “Let’s have lunch or dinner together from time to time. It’ll be good for you. I want you to treat me as a friend. Maybe you don’t think you want a friend, but it does give you a chance to unbottle. I’m trying to treat you like a human being. None of your other men treat you like that, do they?”
For a moment she looked a little startled, then she said, “No, I suppose they don’t.”
“Well, will you? Can’t you see that a little time off from all this muck will be good for you?”
She pursed her mouth. “All right,” she said, then she brightened a little. “Thank you, Clive. Yes, I’d like to.”
I felt as if I had won a major battle. “That’s fine,” I said. “I’ll call you next week and we’ll get together.”
I paid the bill and we went back to the car.
As we turned into Laurel Canyon Drive, she said, “I’ve enjoyed this. You’re odd, aren’t you, Clive?”
I laughed. “Am I? Only in comparison with the other men you know. You still think I want something from you. I don’t. You intrigue me. I like having you around.”
We stopped outside her house. I got out and we stood by the car. “You’re coming in?” she said, smiling at me.
I shook my head. “No . . . I won’t today. It’s been nice, Eve. I want you to come again.”
She stood looking at me. The smile was still on her lips, but it had gone from her eyes. “Don’t you want to come in?”
“I want to be your friend,” I said. “I’ll take you out next week, but I don’t want to treat you as other men treat you.”