“What do you expect? She’s your daughter.”
“And your granddaughter.”
Sandra’s eyes widened in mock horror. “Eve, I’m much too young to be a grandmother. Grandmothers have gray hair and wrinkles.”
“Then you’ll set a new trend.”
Sandra’s smile faded. “You’re going to keep her.”
She shook her head. “I know I shouldn’t do it. She deserves more.”
Sandra nodded. “It wouldn’t be smart.”
“Here she is.” Nurse Toran was coming through the door carrying a pink-wrapped bundle. “She’s magic. She doesn’t look like a newborn at all. And I know newborns aren’t supposed to see well or smile, but I swear she smiled at me. She seems to be glad to be here.” She put the baby in the curve of Eve’s arm. “Though that may change. She’s going to be hungry soon.” She folded the soft pink blanket away from the baby. “Say hello to your mama, cutie.”
So tiny, Eve thought. So delicate.
And then she looked down at the baby’s face.
And her little girl smiled at her.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered.
And it was not a curse.
A cap of wispy red-brown hair framed that tiny face. Dark eyes stared up at Eve, curious, alert, full of joy. Reaching out for everything that life held.
“What did I tell you?” the nurse said softly. “Magic.”
“Yes.” Eve’s arm tightened on the baby. “I never dreamed … May I keep her with me?”
“For a little while. Then you’ll have to sleep.” Nurse Toran headed for the door. “But both of you seem pretty happy right now.”
Happy? That wasn’t the word. Eve felt as if her entire being was opening, beginning to shine, with a kind of luminous radiance. A radiance that was coming from the child she was holding.
“She’s beautiful, Eve,” Sandra said.
“Yes.” Eve couldn’t look away from her little girl. “I know every mother thinks her child is special, but she is special, isn’t she? Even the nurse could see it.”
“So pretty.” Sandra took a step nearer. “And look at the way she’s looking at me.” She put a gentle finger on the baby’s hand. “She likes me, Eve.”
“I think she loves the whole world.” Eve touched the satin of the baby’s cheek. “It makes you want to make sure that she keeps on loving it, that nothing ever hurts her.” Her lips brushed the baby’s head. “Don’t you worry. I’m here. I’ll keep you safe.”
“Eve.”
“I know. But she’s magic, Sandra. And she knows no one could ever love her like I do.” She said softly, “Don’t you, baby? It’s sort of like a golden river flowing back and forth between us that will never end.”
“You’re going to keep her.”
“I want to keep her. I feel as if my heart will break if I lose her. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to give her up.” She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she pressed her cheek against that silky head. “But I’ll think about it. I’ll give myself a little time.”
Sandra shook her head. “Well, while you’re thinking, you’d better give her a name. You can’t keep calling her baby.”
A name.
“I never thought of names.” For the same reason she hadn’t wanted to know the sex of the baby. She looked down at the little girl. “What about it?” she asked her. “I don’t want to just pull a name out of a hat. We should decide it between us. I want to share everything with you.”
“She’s a newborn.” Sandra chuckled. “She can’t decide anything yet.”
“But she’s magic.” Her little girl was looking up at her, and Eve was getting lost in that gaze that seemed to be reaching out, asking, holding. “Give her a chance. Look at her. Isn’t she beautiful? And she has a beautiful soul. I know it.”
“A name,” Sandra prompted.
Beautiful child. Beautiful soul. Eve thought for a moment, then said softly, “Her name is Bonnie.”
* * *
“YOU’RE BREAST-FEEDING HER,” Sandra noticed when she walked into Eve’s hospital room the next morning. “I suppose that means the decision is made?”
Eve nodded and tucked the blanket around Bonnie, who had drifted off to sleep. “I thought a long time about it. I didn’t sleep last night. I was afraid that I was just being selfish. She deserves better than that from me.”
“But you’re still keeping her.”
“Yes.” Eve gazed down at the baby, who had made a tiny sound. Are you dreaming, sweetheart? I hope they’re wonderful dreams. “Because I realized something.” Her glance shifted to Sandra. “All my life, I thought the only thing I wanted was to pull myself out of the gutter and have a clean, decent life. That was going to be my destiny.” She added simply, “But I was wrong. I was born for only one thing. To love and take care of my little girl. None of the rest matters. I’ll break the chain, but it will be for her. Everything that was going to be for me, will be for her. For my Bonnie.”
Sandra was silent a moment. “It’s going to be so hard, Eve.”
Eve nodded. “I’ll need help. I have to work and go to school. I was going to ask Rosa to move in with me, but I’d rather have you.” She paused. “But I can’t have anyone on drugs around Bonnie. You were great while I was pregnant. You only took off three times during those months. But you have to be completely clean now. One time, and I’ll have to keep her away from you.”
“For heaven’s sake, Eve, a few little sniffs don’t do anyone—” She broke off as she met Eve’s gaze. “I know I’m lying to myself. I always knew. I wouldn’t hurt her, Eve.”
“I can’t take the chance.”
Sandra hesitated. “You’d really trust me to take care of her?”
Eve nodded. “I’ll be scared to death until you prove yourself to me. I’ll be calling every fifteen minutes.”
“Mr. Kimble wouldn’t like that.” Sandra smiled. “So I guess I’d better put your mind at rest. She’ll be safe with me. After all, I took care of you, didn’t I?”
“Yes,” Eve said. “And you were younger than I am. You were a very brave girl, Sandra.”
Sandra blinked. “You think so? I never thought about it. I just did what I had to do. You can’t be brave if you’re scared all the time.”
“Sure you can.” She paused. “But I don’t want to saddle you with my child, Sandra. That’s not fair. Unless it’s what you want, too. Do you?”
Sandra didn’t answer for a moment. “I’m lonely sometimes, you know. You’re so strong, Eve. For a long time you haven’t needed me. I kind of liked helping you out lately. It made me feel important.”
“You are important.” She looked down at Bonnie. “And you could be very important to her. She’s going to need all the help we can give her. We’ll keep all the ugliness away from her. She’s got to have a good life, Sandra. If we work together, we can give it to her.”
“You truly need my help?”
“Of course, I do.”
Sandra came closer and looked down at the sleeping Bonnie. “Look at her.” She touched Bonnie’s red-brown curls. “She’s got hair like mine. She’s going to be real pretty. You’re right, you do need my help. You never did take any pains to look nice. I’ll have to show her all the little tricks. I think her hair is going to be curly.” She added absently, “I don’t remember John Gallo having curly hair.”
The comment came as a little shock to Eve. Bonnie had seemed to be so completely Eve’s own that she had not thought of John Gallo having any part of her. Or perhaps she had blocked out any connection. That was more likely. “He didn’t. It was thick and a little wavy, but not curly.” Her gaze ran over Bonnie’s features. Her skin was a little more olive than Eve’s, dark eyes, but they might fade to Eve’s hazel. She didn’t have that faint indentation in the chin that John had. No, she was definitely more Eve’s child than John Gallo’s. Except for the beauty that everyone had instantly noticed. No one could deny that John had stunning good looks and, in spite of his telling Eve that she was beautiful, she knew it wasn’t true.
But Eve would not think of her daughter as an extension of either one of them. She was an entity in her own right. She was Bonnie.
“Then are you going to help me with my little girl?”