“Emilyn, what are you doing home?” I was still standing in the doorway with the back of my hand over my mouth. I looked at him when he asked the question but couldn’t answer. Without waiting for me to respond, he continued. “Listen, this was just a one time thing. I called Julia to ask her about possibly redesigning the wine cellar and she told me that she could stop by this evening. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Wasn’t that what all cheating men said? ‘I didn’t mean for it to happen’ what a load of shit! Julia scoffed. I glanced over to see she was still lying in my bed. “West you might as well tell her everything. There’s no need for us to keep it quiet anymore. She’s seen us and we can finally be together.” She looked right at me while she spoke the words that I knew deep down were the truth. Somehow I knew that there was no way this was the first time they’d been together. West had been pulling away from me for quite a while. He’d spent a lot of late nights at his office and every time I would stop by to surprise him with lunch or just to see him, she was always there. I’d asked him about it and he always said she was redesigning another room in the office. I shouldn’t have been so naive. There were only so many rooms this woman could redecorate.
Her cold stare shook me from my silence. “You’ve been sleeping with her for at least two years now, haven’t you?” Shaking my head I turned away from her and looked at him, but he just stared at me. “You son of a bitch, we’ve been married for eight years West. How could you do this to me? To us?”
“Okay you know what? Fine!” he said throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m not happy Emilyn. I haven’t been happy for most of our marriage. I knew I needed a wife so the law firm here in Chicago would take me seriously. I needed them to see me as a family man that was dedicated and you fit the bill.” I stood there listening to him continue on, his words like ice numbing my soul. “You always seemed to just do whatever I wanted and it worked out perfectly for me. But give me a break Emilyn, you live in this multi-million dollar house, you can spend whatever you want, so don’t act like you’re unhappy.”
I watched his face closely. He couldn’t possibly be serious. “You think I’ve been happy? Do you even know me at all Weston? Your money means nothing to me?” My voice rose slightly with every word spoken. My body started to shake. I really felt like I was in some sort of alternate universe. This couldn’t be happening to me. “You’re standing there telling me that the entire eight years I’ve devoted to you, it has all been for show?” I didn’t give him time to answer before I asked the question that I knew would break me. “Did you ever love me West?”
Looking me right in the eye, he stated simply, “I suppose, for a short time. Or at least I thought I did.”
“Bastard.” The word was a whisper; barely audible. My life was crumbling around me and his stupid whore was still lying in my fucking bed! That was it for me. I turned and started to leave the bedroom. He followed after me as I walked into the living room and grabbed my rolling suitcase.
“Where are you going Emilyn? We need to talk about this.”
I gave a short mocking laugh, “No West, we don’t need to talk about anything. You seem to have made all the decisions in this marriage, and it’s apparent that that was all a big lie.” That’s when it occurred to me. I stopped in my tracks but kept my back to him. I had to ask him this final question, all the while knowing it was the blow that I would never recover from. “What about kids West? You said you wanted kids in the beginning and yet you kept pushing the idea away since we moved here to Chicago. Did you lie about that too?”
I heard him take a deep breath before he answered. “I want kids.” He thought about what he was about to say next. “I just don’t want them with you.” I leaned over and grasped the wall for support. “Emilyn, I think I’ve fallen in love with Julia. You had to have known at some point that this marriage wasn’t going to last. You were just a means to an end. I need a woman that can stand up for herself; someone with a backbone.”
Since I walked into this house and found the two of them, I hadn’t shed a tear. I didn’t know why, I just hadn’t. When the hateful words that came from both West and Julia were flung at me, I still couldn’t cry. But hearing that he had never wanted children with me caused them to prick my eyes. Having a family was something that I had wanted since I was a little girl. We all dream of our future husband, house, and kids. Now the bottom had fallen out of my dreams, and I felt like I had nothing left. I squared my shoulders and stood tall. I wouldn’t show that to West, not now and not ever again! He would never have the satisfaction of seeing another emotion from me. I’d never hated anybody before. I’d strongly disliked some people, but in that moment I truly hated West. Any feelings of love I had for him were gone. It really felt that easy for me.
Taking slow and deliberate steps forward I said, “How’s this for a backbone… you and that bitch can have each other. You are a lying piece of shit that used me only to serve whatever purpose you needed. I won’t allow you to walk all over me West. I’m better than all of this and I’m better than you. I suggest you hire a good divorce attorney, because I have no doubt the judge will see right through you.” I’d never spoken to anyone that way before. I thought it would feel good to stick it to him, but I felt nothing.
Julia came walking through the hall in a skimpy little silk baby doll telling West, “Let her go. She’ll never get anything from us. Come back to bed baby.” She had reached for West’s hand.
Oh I was going to kill her! I started to move forward ready to throw the skinny little bitch to the ground, but she squealed and West pulled her behind him. I stopped my forward motion. I couldn’t do this. It wasn’t who I was, and definitely not who I wanted to be. I needed to leave before it got even uglier.
Turning on my heels I grabbed my suitcase, phone, and purse and made my way out the front door. I could vaguely hear West yelling out the door that I’d never get anything from him—along with other hurtful words about me being worthless—but I couldn’t absorb anything.
Getting in my car I only had one choice of where to go. I called the airport and booked a flight back home to Idaho and called Harper. I was sure an army would have struggled to prevent Harper from flying to Chicago and taking West out, but I think she was able to tell from my tone that I couldn’t handle any more drama and so she let me have that. I gave her my flight information and told her that I would be staying at a hotel until I was ready to fly out so I could get some sleep. She said she’d meet me at the airport and then rung off, but only after I’d promised call her before I left Chicago.
I booked myself in to a hotel right next to the airport and settled in to my room. There was no way I was going to sleep. I threw up as soon as I made it in to my room but managed to drag myself out of the bathroom before collapsing on the bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I tried to make sense of what had just happened. I knew I felt sad about the crumbling of my marriage, but deep down I knew I wasn’t as upset as I should have been. Rather than focusing on West and Julia, my mind kept wandering back to Finn and how I’d left him. I also thought about that baby that I was now thankful I’d never conceived with West. No child should ever come from a broken home. I started to second guess my ability as a potential mother. I questioned how I would ever make someone happy. I couldn’t hold on to Weston, and Finn had left me. Maybe I was destined to be alone. The two men that had held my heart had walked away from me and I wasn’t sure that I could recover from that. I rolled over unsure of how to move forward. I needed my best friend and my family. My heart needed to be around people that loved me unconditionally.