Willing my heart to slow down, I pushed the memory back away and ignored the last part of her statement. “Okay well, I’m super excited to see you! And as much as I’m not willing to go to this thing, it will be nice to see some of our old friends. I swear after marrying Weston I lost touch with just about everyone except you, Mom, and Dad.” I continued to talk to her as I walked out of the massive master suite, through the long hallway, and into the open living room. “Anyway, I need to get off the phone so I can say goodbye to West and head out.”
With a tone of distain Harper said, “Well tell the arrogant prick ‘hello’ for me.”
“Yeah sure, I’ll get right on that!”
I hung up the phone, set my suitcase by the front door and walked back into the living room. I hollered out for West but he didn’t answer. As much as I’d love to just leave without telling him goodbye, I wasn’t that kind of wife. I felt like I owed it to Weston to put in some effort. He did save me in a way.
After Finley left me on graduation night, I went through a pretty dark time in my life. Without him there I felt lost… like I was missing a deep-rooted piece of myself. I had a hard time functioning with day-to-day tasks, and even the simple things—like the desire to get up and get dressed or shower—were a huge effort. After about three months of me moping around doing nothing but the bare minimum, my Dad sat me down and told me enough was enough and I needed to snap out of it. He offered me a spot at his small law firm, answering phones and doing most of the filing. Any of the partners or paralegals needed errands to be run or lunch orders filled, that was my job. At least having job meant I had to get out of bed every day to take care of myself. Besides, looking back, I don’t think my Dad was ‘asking’. He was pretty worried when even Harper couldn’t even snap me out of my funk.
My first day at the firm, I’d really wanted to tell my Dad where to stick his job and go bury my head in my pillow. But after about two weeks I got the hang of the duties that had been assigned to me and honestly, as much as I had been dreading it, I ended up enjoying myself. I could zone out while at the office and consequently didn’t spend my whole day focused on Finn; running through all the questions that invaded my mind whenever I thought of him. More than anything, I wanted to avoid thinking about the possibility that he may have moved on. I just couldn’t bear it.
Taking it day-by-day was the only way I was able to get up and do what was expected of me. I wouldn’t say that I moved on, or that every day it got better, because it didn’t. I was essentially the same inside; broken and bruised, and my heart was still bleeding. I missed Finn terribly, and would have done anything to have him back. But I’d heard that he and Kyler had rented a place in LA, and were about to sell their first song to an up-and-coming artist. It hurt to know he had clearly moved on and was fulfilling his dream. I doubt he had given me a second thought while I’d stayed in that godforsaken town and worked for my Dad instead of going off to college, or following him to LA to pursue his music like he always wanted us to.
Before I knew it a full year had passed. My Dad hired a new paralegal who was quickly working his way up to becoming a Partner. Weston waltzed into my life, and for the first time I felt like I could breathe again. Not a full breath, but enough to make me feel like I was living again. While I didn’t initially show any interest in him, West was a persistent man. He laid eyes on me and he wanted me. After weeks of him constantly asking me out on dates, I finally agreed.
I’ll admit to feeling uncomfortable during that first date because I just didn’t think I was good enough for him. Weston was a handsome man. Standing at six feet with brown hair that he wore short—but a little spiked in the front—and dark blue eyes, he could easily have had any woman he wanted. He worked out daily before coming in to the office, so his body looked like it belonged in a magazine.
Our relationship took off after that night. We immersed ourselves in a fast paced romance that ended with him proposing to me one night on top of a mountain. Before I said yes, Finn’s face went through my mind. I had always dreamed of how he might have proposed to me, and how I would have cried and thrown myself into his arms. But that was never going to happen, and almost two years had passed since I had last seen or heard from him. Plus I’d heard he was seeing someone. Whether it was serious or not didn’t quite matter.
Weston and I had a small private wedding outside, by a lake that I had loved since I moved to Idaho. He had wanted something a bit more grand and lavish, but it wasn’t my style and he wanted to give me whatever I wanted. Not long after the wedding, West was offered a job in Chicago, by a firm who had been following his recent successes in the courtroom. This meant a huge move, but I did it for West. The salary package the firm were offering was tempting to say the least and the position would catapult him into the legal spotlight. But eight years had passed since then, and I was no longer the woman that he showered with gifts and showed everyday how much he loved her. We used to spend every waking minute together; taking vacations to the far ends of the earth away from everybody, and relishing each other in seclusion. I always felt he worshiped me, but over the past two years he’d pulled away. He started spending more time at the office, stopped calling me to see how my day was going, and—even when he was at home—he spent more time in his home office than he did cooking with me, or lounging by the pool like he used to do. I wish I knew what had driven this wedge between us but I didn’t have a clue. I’d become so used to being ignored, that I felt like we hardly knew each other anymore. I’d become a ‘stepford wife’; someone for Weston to hold on his arm at company functions.
Walking through the spacious living room and hallway to West’s office, I approached the door. I could hear him talking to someone on the phone, so I quietly opened the door to let him know I was leaving. When he looked up at me, something in his eyes shifted and he told the person on the other end of the phone that he needed to go but would talk to them later. The way he was watching me while he spoke made me feel uneasy, but quite frankly I’d never involved myself in his work affairs, and I wasn’t about to start now.
Walking over to him I sat down on his grand mahogany desk. Looking around his office at the rows and rows of law books stacked on the book-shelves, you’d think we lived in a library. The abundance of deep rich wood in this room always made me feel out of place. I’d never really liked grand and expensive things, but Weston insisted on having it all; not just in his office downtown, but at home too. I’d tried to argue that we didn’t need it all, but our interior decorator managed to convince him that this was all stuff that we needed, and it was money well spent. If you ask me, I’d say Julia Stephens—a well-known Chicago designer—really wanted in Weston’s pocket book, and his pants. Anytime I was around her she’d look at me as though I was beneath her; as if I had no business being married to my wealthy husband. Like she just didn’t see what he saw in me. But frankly, neither did I.
I heard him sigh and look up at him, “I’m leaving and I’ll be back on Monday.” I wished with my whole heart that he would acknowledge me the way a husband in love should, but I knew it wasn’t going to happen.
“Well, I’ll be busy here and at the office throughout the weekend so don’t expect to hear from me. I’ll just say goodbye now. Enjoy your trip,” he said coolly. Ever the business man I thought. I wanted to reach out and touch his cheek to get some sort of emotion from him. I was his wife, and I wanted to feel close to him again. I needed to know that I was enough for him.
I leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, pulling back and smiling, hoping for something in return. But again I received nothing. Disappointed, I walked away from him and out of the office. I made my way to the foyer where my bags were and grabbed my purse, cell phone, rolling suitcase and keys, and walked out the front door. My heart felt heavy but I hoped I would feel better—and a bit lighter—when I landed in Boise and saw my parents.