He was confused. “What does that mean?”
“It means he took it as well as any man who has been having an affair with his interior decorator for the past two years would. The same man who claimed he never loved me, and never wanted kids with me.”
Finn’s brow furrowed and his mouth had set in a straight line. “Is that what he said to you?”
“In not so many words, yes. He made it abundantly clear that this baby wasn’t wanted and he thought I’d got pregnant on purpose to get more money out of him.” I felt the need to explain further. “I was on the pill and I took it religiously. Apparently it’s not always effective.”
The weight of Finn’s eyes on me was too much. I shook myself from his stare and moved to go back inside the store. “Wait. When do you get off work? In fact, why are you even working? You’re still married to West and I’m certain there isn’t a judge alive that wouldn’t ensure that you have what you need to take care of yourself and the baby.”
My hand was on the handle of the door. “I have to work so I can support myself. Obviously I won’t be working here forever, but I need to stand on my own two feet. I can’t stomach the idea of using the money from the divorce settlement.”
“Why?” He asked.
I sighed. “Because that money was all a lie Finn. West never loved me, he was just using me. I was his trophy wife, someone he used to move up the corporate ladder. If he showed the partners at the firm that he was a family man, they had more incentive to hire him and make him junior partner. Do you get it now? My whole marriage was a sham! And now I’m having a kid that was created by that lie. To me, that money is bullshit and I don’t want it, at least not for me. I’ll put it away for the baby, for when he or she gets older. So you see… I’m trying to stand on my own. I need this job.”
“You can prove that you can stand on your own without working here Em. Listen, I know you have to get back to work, but let me come and see you tonight. I’d like to talk to you about some things.” His eyes were begging for me to say yes. I wanted to tell him no, and tell him to go back to California, but I caved.
“Stop by Harpers house at six. We can talk over dinner.” Relief flooded his face.
“I’ll be there.” He walked backwards smiling at me. He watched me as I went back inside the shop, before turning to walk across the street. Finn coming over was not a good idea! I’d be a good friend and listen to what he had to say, but nothing more. Although admittedly I was silently praying I would have the strength to push him away, instead of dragging him to my room.
I had rosemary and lemon roasted chicken in the oven and vegetables all ready to go. I already knew Harper would be late tonight because she said she was showing Ky some houses in a new subdivision across town. I had a feeling Kyler was keeping her away tonight so Finn could talk to me alone. I didn’t think I’d ever felt so nervous. I checked my hair in the mirror over a dozen times, and changed my outfit three times before finally deciding I was being ridiculous. I settled on a pair of capri stretch pants and a dark blue baby doll top. It didn’t over emphasize my stomach and the fabric bunched around my breasts, putting them on display. Okay, so I may have put some thought into my top. Finn had always liked my boobs and I’ll admit I wanted him to notice the fact that the ‘girls’ had become fuller during the pregnancy. I had my hair braided over the side of one shoulder and some lose strands had fallen out, framing my face. I had washed off all of my make-up earlier and so I just dabbed on some clear lip gloss. I wanted to appear refreshed and in control.
I’d set up plates at the eat-in breakfast table in the kitchen. Eating in the dining room implied formality, and nothing about this get together was formal. I wanted to remain as relaxed as I could. I was already a ball of nerves just thinking about being alone with Finn again. I took the chicken out of the oven and had set it on top of the stove to rest when the doorbell rang. My heart jumped into my throat and I reminded myself to take deep breaths. I had everything under control. I smoothed my top down before opening the door. Finn stood in front of me in a long-sleeved, gray, v-neck thermal shirt. Against the gray, his eyes were a piercing blue. Bastard. He had to know how good he looked right now. His long lean legs were covered by a pair of worn, dark-wash jeans. I gulped hard. I had no idea how I was going to manage to keep my hands to myself. Shaking myself free of my idiotic staring, I noticed he was eyeing me up in the same way. Ha. Take that Finley Morgan!
“Hey, come on in. I’m about to carve the chicken I made for dinner.” I turned away from him to walk to towards the kitchen.
“Thanks for letting me come over Em.” I heard him breathe in deeply behind me. “That smells amazing. Did you cook?”
He’d followed me into the kitchen. “Yes, I did. I cook every night for Harper and me.” I grabbed a carving knife out of the draw and was about to cut into the chicken, when I felt Finn step up behind me. He placed his large hand over mine, taking control of the knife.
“Here, let me help with this.” I desperately tried not to shiver, but it couldn’t be helped. There was no way he hadn’t noticed because he was less than an inch away from my body.
Clearing my throat, I stepped to the side and let him carve. “Umm… what would you like to drink? We have water, soda, wine, and I think we have beer too.” I needed to move away from him because his smell was intoxicating. He wasn’t wearing cologne but I could smell his aftershave. It was a smell that was strictly masculine. Jesus, I think my hormones were making my sense of smell stronger.
He paused what he was doing to turn and look at me. “I’ll take a beer.” He gave a small smile and turned back to keep cutting.
I stood by the fridge with the door open, letting the cool air help relax my thrumming pulse. I watched his forearms flex with each move. Fuck me, I was not going to make it through this dinner! I needed to distract myself. Talk to him Emilyn! Yes, talking is good.
“So how’ve you been the past couple of months?”
“Hmmm…?” I thought I’d spoken loud enough for him to hear me, but when I turned around and stood back up, I noticed Finn had been staring at me while I’d been bent over getting his beer. Yeah, this was going to be a long night. “Oh, umm… it’s been good.” He turned back to cutting. “Been keeping busy. Ky and I just scored another contract. The music label wants us to try to write for this new up-and-coming artist but he’s just a kid, and personally I think our stuff sounds too old for him.”
I laughed. “Hey now, your stuff doesn’t sound old.”
“You’ve heard our music?” He walked to the table to join me, bringing the food with him.
“Of course I have. You guys have a lot of stuff out there. It’s hard not to hear it.”
“What do you think of it?”
I stopped to take a bite of the chicken before answering. “You and Kyler are very talented Finn. I’ll confess, I’ve looked up and listened to everything you two have written. Sometimes I don’t care for how the artists sing some of the lyrics, but it’s still good stuff.” I smiled across the table at him.
“So you’ve looked me up.” He raised his eye brow and smirked at me.
My smile widened and I looked down. “Yeah, I suppose I have.”
It got quiet. When I looked back up at him, he was watching me from across the table. His face was so serious; a direct contrast to the playful smile he’d just given me. I was confused. “What? Do I have food in my teeth?” I covered my mouth with my napkin.
“No Em, you don’t have food in your teeth.” He put his fork down and sat back, and I sensed the conversation was about to turn serious. “Why did you avoid me for so long?”
I was confused because I’d already told him why. Hell, he could see why. “You know why Finn. I didn’t want to bother you about this and I was trying to deal with things on my own.”