“I know what you told me, but that doesn’t answer why you avoided me after the reunion.”
Okay, now we were walking into uncomfortable ground. “I wasn’t avoiding you I just didn’t think there was anything to talk about.”
“You’re lying.” He was right. “I can always tell when you’re lying to me Emilyn. You never look me in the eyes and you start wringing your hands. So what’s the real reason?”
I made an effort to stop my fidgeting. “It honestly doesn’t matter. Is this what you came here to talk to me about?”
“I’m here to tell you several things and to be your friend. But friends are honest with each other, they don’t beat around the bush.” I didn’t think he could look more intense, but he did when he leaned forward putting his elbows on the table. “Why wouldn’t you take my calls?”
I got up from the table with my plate, unable to stand his gaze. “I told you, there was nothing to talk about.”
As I passed him, he grabbed my arm. “There was plenty to talk about. That kiss for starters.” He set his napkin down and stood up right in front of me. Taking my plate out of my hands and placed it back on the table. “No more walking away from me Emilyn. Sit down and eat. You have that baby you need to feed and you need to stay healthy.”
“Since when did you get so bossy?”
“Since I got tired of you running away from me.”
“I’m not run…”
“Sit down Emilyn, I’m not asking again.” He was more forceful in the way he spoke.
I moved back to my side of the table. “Your way of asking sounds more like a command.”
He shrugged his shoulders and it pissed me off. “Now are you going to make me repeat myself or are you going to answer the question? Truthfully this time? I have all night.”
“I’m married Finley… or was… or am…” I shook my head, “Fuck, I don’t know okay? I liked the kiss. Is that what you wanted to hear? I couldn’t talk to you about it because I liked it and it made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time!” I glared at him.
“Good. Now was that so hard?” He was smiling and I wanted to hit him.
“Are you here to torture me?” His smile turned angry.
“Not here to torture you Em, I’m here to help you.”
“And I’ve told you I don’t need help. I’ve got everything under control.”
“Is that why you look like you’re about to cry?”
“Fuck you Finley! Get out!” I shouted. I got up from the table and left the kitchen. I hurried down the hall to my room, knowing he was going to follow me. I shut the door and locked it. A second later he was at my door twisting the knob.
“Open the door Em. We aren’t done talking.”
“If you think that was talking then you’re delusional. Now get out!”
“I’m not delusional I think we were finally getting to the honest part of our conversation. Now you either open this door, or I will take the damn thing off the hinges.”
“You wouldn’t!” Was he crazy?
“Don’t tempt me Tiny Girl. You are done walking away from me. Make this easy on yourself.”
I unlocked the door and yanked it open to find him standing in the doorway, his arms braced against the frame. I shouted, “You are the biggest asshole I’ve ever known!”
He was breathing heavily. Dropping his arms, he moved towards me, causing me to back into my room. “You done locking me out?”
“I don’t know. Are you done being a jerk?”
He let out a frustrated growl and put his hands on his hips.
Looking up at him I said, “Did you just growl at me?”
“No. I didn’t growl.”
“Yes you did.”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Yes. You. Did.”
“No I… Jesus! Why are we arguing about this? Stop changing the subject.”
“I’m not changing the subject.” Okay, I might have been changing the subject.
“Enough Emilyn! We are going to have an adult conversation, and you’re going to give me some honest answers.”
“You have an awful lot of faith in that statement.” I was goading him and he knew it.
“Cut the shit. Tell me what your plans are.”
“Not that it’s any of your business…” He raised a brow at me, daring me to push him. “But I’m going to keep working at Beans until the baby is born. I’m saving as much as I can and Harper and I are turning the spare bedroom into a nursery. I plan on going back to school when the baby is a couple months old and my Mom has offered to help out so I don’t have to put her in daycare. There, does that answer your question?”
“For now. What about West, where is he during all of this?” He moved to sit on the bed. He was so tall that when he was sitting, we were eye level.
“West is out of the picture. I don’t actually know what he’s going to do about us having a baby. I am concerned he’ll try to take her away from me just to hurt me, but then again Julia won’t want anything that’s mine in her house. So who knows?” That was an honest answer and it left me feeling drained.
“If he so much as tries to take the baby from you, I’ll break his neck. You don’t need to worry about that.” He had so much conviction in his voice. But his face looked perplexed about something else.
“What?”
“Why do you keep referring to the baby as a her? Do you know you’re having a girl already?” His eyes softened as he glanced at my midsection.
“No, it’s just a feeling. Funny, West asked me the same question.”
“Don’t compare me to him.” Hurt resonated in his words.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I swear I wasn’t, it’s just that he asked me the same question. I wasn’t comparing Finn. Trust me, you’re nothing like him!”
He sighed, reaching out and grabbing a hold of my hand. There was such warmth in his touch, and as nervous as he made me feel, I also felt at ease. “Please, sit down.”
I did, and he dropped a bomb on me. “I want you to move in to my house, Em.”
“What? I can’t move to California.”
“No, I know, and I’d never ask you to. Kyler is signing papers as we speak for a four bedroom house that I’m buying.”
“Wait… you’re buying a house here? But you live in California.”
“Yes, and I still do. I’m buying a place here so I’m not always staying at Ky’s parent’s house. I’d like to have my own space, and I want you in it. I won’t be able to leave the house unattended for however long I’d be gone. So during those periods it would be nice if someone was there to keep it up.”
“You’re crazy! I can’t just move in with you. Finn, we just started speaking again.”
“It might be crazy but, it’ll be a good thing. Don’t you want somewhere for just you and the baby? ” He placed his palm on my cheek. “Think about it Em. I won’t always be around, but I’ll make sure you have everything you’ll possibly need. I’ll help you take care of you and the baby. Move in with me Tiny Girl.”
“This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen Finn. I didn’t want you to come rescue me and play white knight. I appreciate the gesture, I really do. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“I’m not white knighting you. I know Kyler told you I’ve been miserable. I miss you Em. I haven’t found another girl that makes me feel the way you do. I’m not saying this to make you feel uncomfortable or to scare you. I’m just putting it out there that I need to be around you. And now that I know what’s been going on here, I feel like you need me too. Just please, come live with me and we’ll figure everything out.” He looked so hopeful.
“I can’t just leave Harper though. And what about your job?”
“She already knows. I told her what I was doing when I looked at a few places with Ky.” I turned to face the bedroom door. “She wanted to argue and tell me it was a bad idea, but she also thinks it could help you gain some independence.” He paused. “Look, I know I’ve hurt you before but that’s not going to happen again. I’m not leaving. She took some convincing but Harper agrees with me. As far as the job goes, I can work from anywhere. That’s the beauty about writing music.”