My fantasy was interrupted when Em turned around, saw me standing there watching her and screamed. “Jesus Finn! You scared the shit out of me!”
I had to stand on the other side of the island so she wouldn’t see my blatant erection. “Sorry Tiny Girl. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
She turned the music down. Her cheeks were blazing and it was the most adorable sight to see. “You weren’t kidding. You do know some of my songs.”
“Yeah, but this one is my favorite.” I smiled. What she didn’t know was that I’d written this song with her in mind. It was about making the biggest mistake of your life, and then doing everything you could to try and make things right.
Changing the subject I asked, “It smells amazing in here. Do I have time to shower before it’s ready?”
“Yeah you’ve got a few minutes.” She turned to stir some rice.
“You know you don’t have to cook for me Em. I can cook you know?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t mind. I love to cook and it makes me feel productive.”
I nodded, before realizing she couldn’t see me. “Well I really appreciate it. You’re going to need to slow down though. I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”
She turned to the side and said, “I’m fine, promise.”
I bobbed my head a bit and turned to get a change of clothes… and take advantage of another cold shower.
Talk about a girl moment. I didn’t mean to scream when I saw Finn standing behind me, but he’d been so quiet I hadn’t heard him come in. How embarrassing! He’d caught me dancing around and singing like a banshee. I just wanted to hide under my bed except, I couldn’t fit under my bed anymore. That thought made me want to cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones!
While I set the table for dinner, I heard the bathroom door open. I tip toed over to peak down the hall. I caught a glimpse of Finn in just a towel, with his back glistening with water droplets before he walked into his room and shut the door. What a really nice back, I giggled to myself. Harper and I always would laugh while we watched TV shows on The CW and the cute guys would have their shirts off. We’d say things like, “That’s a really great back” or “Oh I’d touch that arm.” But the back I just watched walk away, was something more than ‘nice’. Finn was broad and muscled, with tattoos on his shoulder blades and a partial sleeve going down his left arm. I wanted to lick those tattoos… after I licked all the water off his body.
Finn’s voice snapped me out of my highly inappropriate daydream. “Em? You okay there? You’re kind of staring off in space.” The man I’d been fantasizing about was now standing in front of me with his hands on my upper arms, neck slightly bent to look me in the eyes. Why did he have to smell so damn edible?
I cleared my throat and said, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking, that’s all.” Holy mess, I needed to get rid of this sexual tension. I need to get out my pregnancy book and see if the added hormones are fucking with my libido too.
“Anything you care to share?”
“Ummm…no! Let’s just have dinner. I was about to go grab the salmon.” I practically ran from the room. When I came back, he was already seated and was looking at his phone. He seemed perturbed. He was so focused on whatever he was looking at that he hadn’t even noticed that I’d come back into the room. When I pulled the chair out and it scraped across the floor, he jumped and set his phone—face down—on the table.
“Now who’s the one that seems distracted?” I smiled at him.
“Oh, I’m not distracted. Just some stuff going on back in California that needs my attention.” He winked at me and dug in. “So have you heard from your lawyer this week?”
I was still uncomfortable talking to Finn about my divorce, but he was genuinely interested and he wanted to support me. “Yes actually, I have. It’s funny you asked about it because I just got the final papers. They don’t mention the baby at all. Just that West has added more to my monthly alimony. I have no idea why he feels the need to give me so much though. I never asked him for anything, well besides helping me take care of my medical expenses.”
“You’re kidding right? Didn’t you say he told you he used you throughout your marriage?” Finn sounded aggravated.
“Well… yes, but that doesn’t mean that I need all of that money.”
“It also doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve the money Em. That fucking prick cheated on you and you walked in on it. Nobody deserves that.”
I sighed and my shoulders slumped. Raising my eyes to Finn’s, I addressed the one issue he had yet to acknowledge. "I think you’ve forgotten that I cheated as well Finn." He closed his mouth. "You and I kissed at that reunion, while I was still married. So I'm just as guilty of cheating as he is."
His mouth set in a firm line and his jaw visibly tightened. "That's not the same thing as fucking the interior decorator and you know it." His tone sent a shiver down my spine. "You're right. It isn't the same thing, and I'm sorry." Needing to make my meaning clear I explained.
“I’m not saying that I deserved it Finn. What I’m saying is it’s too much. I’ve already told you I don’t want the money, and all of this feels like he’s trying to pay me off… like I was some sort of rent-a-wife for the past eight years and now I’m being returned.”
“Emilyn, listen to me carefully. You weren’t borrowed. You had a husband that unjustifiably used you. Now he’s paying for it. Okay so it’s with his money, but you deserve it. Use it to give your baby everything he or she needs. Okay?” He’d stopped eating while he spoke, but I had picked up my fork and dutifully ate my salmon for something to do.
“I guess I see what you are saying. I’ll think about it. But knowing that the money is coming from him, and how I got it, makes me feel dirty.” I shivered.
“There are plenty of things that could make you feel dirty Em, but money isn’t one of them.” I paused with my fork in the air, my mouth wide open.
“Finley Morgan!” He chuckled at me.
“Alright! Alright! So did the papers say when everything is going to be finalized?”
“As early as next week. It’s one of the perks of West being a lawyer. He knows the judges and probably managed to get this thing pushed through.” I grumbled my last statement. “I’m sure Julia is pressuring him to be done with me as soon as possible too.”
“I don’t see how anybody could want someone else over you.”
I let out a small bitter laugh. “You don’t have to say that, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
“You think I’m lying?”
“I think you’re trying to make a pregnant woman feel better about herself.” I reached over and patted his forearm. He tracked my movement with his eyes.
“I’m not feeding you lines Tiny Girl. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, baby and all! I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of my life if I have to.”
“I know you would, and that’s very sweet of you.” I sat back in my chair and looked at the table. We’d finished eating but I was feeling exhausted. “Do you mind cleaning up? I’m going to go take a long bath in that huge tub I haven’t tested yet.”