And there are big bottles of water right here in my room, for later, and I turned on the TV, and everything was In Italian!
I mean, I knew it would be. It’s just SO WEIRD!
I thought I would be way too tired to want to go out and sightsee, but now that I’m finally here, I’m really stoked! I want to get out there and see EVERYTHING. After all, we only have about 24 hours in Rome before we leave for Le Marche.
On second thought, I didn’t sleep very well on the plane, thanks to The Armrest Nazi. I suppose I shouldn’t call him that anymore on account of him having been so tragically jilted all those years ago by that model.
But seriously, what did he expect, marrying a model? Modelizers get exactly what they deserve.
Maybe I’ll just rest my eyes for a minute or two….
Funny. I miss The Dude. I’m so used to his big gray body curled up to mine in bed, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get to slee—
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e-mails
To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Arthur Pendergast <a.pendergast@rawlingspress.com>
Re: The Book
Where are you this week? Nigeria? Well, wherever it is, just thought I’d give you the good news: Sweeping Sands made the Times extended list. Number 18. If you’d agreed to tour, we’d have probably debuted even higher. But I know, I know. You’ve got this wedding to go to. Oh, it’s also number 48 on the USA Today list. Which isn’t bad for a hardback.
Check out this cover sketch for the UK edition and let me know what you think.
Have you given any thought lately to what #2 is going to be about? The second book on your contract, I mean. No hurry, just that it’s due in a couple months, and you still haven’t submitted a proposal. Have you given any thought to dirty diamonds? That’s a pretty hot topic these days. And I hear Angola is nice this time of year.
Arthur Pendergast
Senior Editor
Rawlings Press
1418 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10019
212-555-8764
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Aaron Spender <a.spender@cnn.com>
Re: Things
What’s this I hear about you throwing in the foreign-correspondence towel and taking a post stateside? What are you, going soft on me in your old age? It can’t be because of this multimillion-dollar book deal I hear you landed a while back, because the Cal Langdon I knew never cared about money. I distinctly recall you saying, that night we were trapped in that bomb shelter in Baghdad, that you never wanted to own any material goods because they might “weigh” you down.
All I can say is, you can buy a heck of a lot of pot holders with the kind of green you’re raking in, buddy.
Anyway, if you’re serious about staying home for a while, why work for that rag? Believe me, I’ve been there, and it is not where you want to be. Come on over to where the REAL news is being made. Print media is dead. It’s all about television these days. I can set you up with a really sweet deal, if you’re interested. Let me know.
Barbara says hello.
Aaron Spender
Senior Correspondent
CNN—New York
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Mary Langdon <m.langdon@freemail.com>
Re: Mom
So I heard from Dad you’re back in the States for a while—well, except for some jaunt to Italy to be a witness to some guy named Mark’s wedding (it’s not Mark from next door, is it? Didn’t he end up becoming a doctor or something else really boring? Typical).
I also heard you got a cool mil for some book you wrote, and that they want a second one. What are you going to do with all that scratch? Try to lure the ex back from Mr. Investment Guy?
Why don’t you send some of it my way? I’ll keep it safe for you. This whole weaving thing isn’t really working out, anyway, and I was thinking of heading up north with this guy who’s got a tiedye biz going out of his van.
Anyway, keep in touch. And welcome back to the good old US of A. It sucks just as much now as it did when you left.
Mare
PS Have you heard the latest about Mom? She actually has a SHOW. An ART show. Of her stupid lint/clothespin people. I don’t know how SHE can get a show and I can’t. My weavings are way more artistic than her lint people.
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Graziella Fratiani <graziella@galleriefratiani.co.it>
Re: You
What is this I hear about you coming to Roma and not calling to me? I would not have known a thing about it if Dolly Vargas hadn’t happened to mention it during our interview. You are a naughty, naughty boy. Where are you staying? Call me. You know the number. I will come by your hotel and give you a true Italian welcome.
Ciao, amore XXXX
Grazi
PDA of Cal Langdon
PDA of Cal Langdon
Art sent the UK cover design for Sands today. It’s got a very romantic feel to it that I’m not sure is entirely appropriate, considering the book’s subject matter. Well, I suppose if it tricks unsuspecting readers into buying it, expecting it to be a work of fiction about a mummy’s curse instead of a nonfiction treatise on Saudi Arabia’s tiring oil fields, all the better.
I can’t believe Aaron Spender is still among the living. I’d have assumed Barbara Bellerieve bit his head off and ate it on their wedding night. I still marvel at my own lucky escape from her clutches. If it hadn’t been for that Daisy Cutter…
And Mary. I guess that grand I sent her last month didn’t last very long. What the hell does she do with it all? It’s not like she ever has anything to show for it. She can’t smoke it ALL away, can she? I wish Mom and Dad had taken some control over her earlier in her adolescence. She probably wouldn’t still be living out of some guy’s van at the age of twenty-five.
But I guess they weren’t necessarily the best role models, as parents go, considering Dad’s obsession with the track and Mom’s conviction that she’s the next Grandma Moses. It’s surprising, actually, that Mary isn’t a bigger flake than she is….
Much like some people I could mention. It was amusing, coming from the airport, to hear Holly’s friend squeal at the sight of every monument—and every passing billboard. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone get so excited about a sign for mouthwash. I thought she was going to have a coronary when we drove by the Colosseum. I’m not entirely sure which impressed her more… the fact that it’s stood for over two thousand years, or the fact that Britney Spears was recently there, filming a television commercial (at least, that’s what Holly’s friend announced to all of us).
There is something refreshing about American enthusiasm for antiquity. I guess I forget, having been away so long, that there is still a place on this earth where there are no structures older than half a millennium. It must be impressive to see something that existed fifteen hundred years before the Mayflower….
Of course, if we hadn’t slaughtered all the Indians and destroyed their native lands, it would be different.