Me: “So… you don’t believe in romantic love?”
Caclass="underline" “I believe I just said that.”
Me: “Because of the vast amount of time you’ve spent studying the subject?”
Caclass="underline" “From my own personal experience, yes. And from the relationships I’ve observed around me.”
Me: “So Holly and Mark are going to break up because there’s no such thing as love?”
Caclass="underline" “Oh, no. Well, yes, eventually. But well before that happens, they’re going to break up because their backgrounds are too different.”
I really don’t think I can be blamed for saying, “At least they’re both human, unlike the skank I saw leaving your hotel room earlier.”
I had the satisfaction of seeing him, for the first time since we’ve met, completely speechless.
Sadly the effect was ruined when one of my stiletto heels got caught between the cobblestones outside the restaurant. It gouged away all the silver lame. I don’t think it can be fixed, either.
I’ll admit the cobblestones are charming, but have these people never heard of asphalt? It was totally humiliating too, the Modelizer had to help me pry it loose. My heel, I mean.
His hand fit all the way around my ankle. You know, his fingers met his thumb on the other side.
Thank God I remembered to shave my legs in the shower before dinner.
God, I’m so jazzed from all that good food, I don’t think I’ll ever fall asleep. Plus, I keep thinking about The Dude. He has to be all right, doesn’t he? I mean, Julio would have called if there was anything wrong. I left my cell number by the phone, so Julio could call from my phone, and not wrack up a bill on his parents’ line.
And I just checked it, and he hasn’t called. So The Dude is good. No news is good news, right? The Dude HAS to be good.
It’s just that we’ve spent maybe only five nights, total, away from each other since he was a kitten. Who is going to get up during The Dude’s 4-AM windowsill yowl at the moon and comfort him if I’m not there? That yowl used to drive me insane. But now I sort of miss it. I’d give anything to hear that yowl right now. In fact, I don’t think I’ll be able to go to sleep without it—
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___________________________________________
e-mails
To: Customer Service New York Journal Travel Privileges <TravelPrivcustser@thenyjournal.com >
Fr: Mark Levine <mark.levine@thenyjournal.com >
Re: Car Rental
I realize it’s Sunday, and that your offices are closed. However, when I made the reservation for a rental car in Rome, I specified that I needed a four-door sedan with trunk room for four VERY LARGE bags. I asked for a Jaguar or Mercedes, NOT a Toyota. Now I have to cram one of the bags in the backseat with two passengers, and we’re going to be driving through MOUNTAINS. Do you really think it’s safe to drive through a mountain range with a large, overstuffed suitcase between passengers in the backseat?
I didn’t think so. I’ll expect to hear from you on Monday.
Mark Levine, MD
___________________________________________
To: Julio Chasez <julio@streetsmart.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: The Dude
Hi, Julio! I have to admit, I’m getting kind of worried. Is everything OK? I mean, you haven’t written back to me, and I just want to know if everything is going all right. I know you’re busy with school and hockey and all, but if you could just send me a tiny message, letting me know The Dude’s all right, I’d really appreciate it.
I think I’ll try your pager.
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Where are you?
????????????????????
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Where are you?
I’m still in the dining room, finishing breakfast. Where are YOU?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Where are you?
Outside. Hurry up and finish and get out here. You’ve got to see this. Mark and Cal are trying to cram all of our bags into the trunk, only they won’t fit. So they’re doing physics. All serious, like it’s a puzzle or something. Something actually IMPORTANT. Get out here, or you’ll miss it.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Where are you?
I’m not done with my yogurt yet.
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Where are you?
Oh my God, it’s just YOGURT. Get out here. You can have yogurt anytime.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Where are you?
Not like this. This is the best yogurt I’ve ever had.
What does Fett-Grassi 3.7g mean anyway?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Where are you?
Fat grams.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Where are you?
SERIOUSLY??? SATURATED OR UNSATURATED??? OH MY GOD, I’VE EATEN FOUR CONTAINERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Claire Harris <charris2004@freemail.com>
Re: How are you?
Hi, honey! Thank you for emailing me back so promptly. I hope you made it to your hotel all right. Things here are good. Well, except for Dad nearly broke his tailbone from a fall off the roof as he was cleaning the gutters. But he bounced off the hydrangea bush, so all is well.
I don’t want you to worry, but after I wrote you yesterday I ran into Holly’s mother again, this time at the Kroger Sav-On, and I mentioned how lovely I thought it was that you all were going to Italy to stay in her uncle’s villa, and Marie didn’t seem to know a thing about it. I know I wasn’t supposed to mention the elope ment, but Holly did tell her mother she was going to her uncle’s, didn’t she? I hope I haven’t spoiled anything.