Love,
Mom
PS Cal Langdon, the reporter with the New York Journal ? Why, I just saw him on Charlie Rose the other night! He was being interviewed about some big book he’s just written. Apparently, it’s selling very well. He’s very handsome, Janie.
Still, imagine not thinking Mark should marry Holly. Those two were made for each other! And who’s never heard of Wondercat? What has he been doing, living under a rock???? Well, I guess so, actually, since his book is about Saudi Arabia….
Mom
___________________________________________
To: Claire Harris <charris2004@freemail.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: How are you?
Hi, Mom! Things here are fine. Well, except that Holly and I are waiting for the guys to go check out of the hotel so that we can rearrange the way they’ve packed the rental car. It’s too small for all of us, plus our luggage, so Holly and I have to sit in the back with Holly’s giant suitcase. Which we don’t mind, especially, except that they packed our bag of Toblerone in the trunk. What good will it do anyone there?
We leave for Holly’s uncle’s villa today. It’s about a four-hour drive from Rome to where the house is, on the Adriatic coast. I can’t wait to see it! Everything here is just so different and fun. Even the yogurt is better.
But then I found out that’s because I was eating full fat yogurt for the first time in my life. Oh well.
I wouldn’t worry about Holly’s mom. People in their family borrow their uncle’s place all the time, since he’s away so much.
Tell Dad there are people he can hire to clean the gutters.
Love,
Janie
PS You saw Cal Langdon on Charlie Rose ? It figures. He is so full of himself. And as for his not thinking Holly and Mark are perfect for each other… Please! I don’t even like to remember what Holly was like before she started dating Mark. I mean, remember the whole green hair phase?
And you’d have to have lived under a rock not to have seen Wondercat’s recycling campaign at D’Agostino. There are circulars for it everywhere.
J
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Why did you let Mark drive?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Hello? You were there. How was I supposed to stop him?
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Yeah, but he sucks at it. I mean, really, really sucks at it.
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Hello. It’s Italy. Everyone sucks at driving. He blends.
Besides, I had to let him drive, after that whole thing with Cal rearranging all the suitcases.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Yeah. What was UP with that, anyway? Why is Cal so… bossy?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Mark says it’s because Cal has an enormous you know what.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Head?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
No, you idiot. You KNOW what I mean.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Wait. WHAT??? SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Mark swears it’s true. He says Cal has always been supremely self-confident because of the enormity of his you know what. Well, at least up until that model broke his heart and all.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
You are making that up. About his you know what, I mean.
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Um. Have YOU seen him sit with his legs crossed?
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
That doesn’t mean—Oh, my God, you ARE serious.
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
Apparently, despite his ex-wife’s desertion on what was to be their first wedding anniversary, he has every reason in the world to feel quite pleased with himself.
Does THAT make you think a little more fondly of him?
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: What is up with this?
NO!!! Size doesn’t matter, and you know it.
Well, not that much.
She really left him on their first anniversary?
J
___________________________________________
To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Re: What is up with this?
He came home from work, preparing to change clothes and take her out for an evening of celebration, and found a note. She’d had movers in while he was at the office. They took everything. Except the cat.
Holly
___________________________________________
To: Holly Caputo <holly.caputo@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>