In the air is the crisp, clean smell of chlorine from the pool, the scent of freshly cut hay from the field beyond the hedge, and… OK, well, the smell of horse manure drifting over from the Centro Ippico, but it’s very faint.
And off in the distance, atop a deep green rise that seems to come from the middle of the hay field, sits another fortified city, topped by a castle… Castelfidardo, where we’re going to go today to apply for Mark and Holly’s marriage license. If they can pry me from this spot. Which I sincerely doubt. Because the only way I’m moving is if—
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
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e-mails
To: Listserv <Wundercat@wundercatlives.com>
Fr: Peter Schumacher <webmaster@wundercatlives.com>
Re: JANE HARRIS
Greetings! I have served breakfast to JANE HARRIS! I surprise her very much with the brotchen and hot coffee! She had just had her morning swimming when I come into yard with tray prepared by my grandmother! She scream very big!
But then she sees it is only me, and I put down tray beside her pool couch, and we have the coffee and brotchen. I bring also the Nutella, and JANE HARRIS likes this very much! We have nice chat, and I find out IMPORTANT NEWS FLASH:
JANE HARRIS HAS DEVELOPMENT DEAL WITH CARTOON NETWORK FOR WUNDERCAT ANIMATED SERIES!!!!!!!!!!
Yes!!! Perhaps we will be seeing Wundercat on television soon!
I am very interested as JANE HARRIS is telling this to me, but then one of the mans she is traveling with (don’t worry, boys, he is NOT her boyfriend. In the words of JANE HARRIS: “HIM? MY BOYFRIEND? NO WAY!”) Cal Longdon comes out of the house and says he wants to speak alone with JANE HARRIS.
So I start to go, but JANE HARRIS says “No, Peter, you stay.” And so I give Cal Longdon some brotchen and coffee too and we three sit and talk about politics for very long time before daughter of the sister of the man who owns the villa where JANE HARRIS is staying comes out and says they must go to Castelfidardo.
I am thinking I will ride on my motorino to Castelfidardo also today to see if JANE HARRIS needs anything more.
That is the report from WUNDERCAT CENTRAL! More news as it is received!
Over and out,
Peter, #1 Wundercat Fan Of All Time
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To: Peter Schumacher <webmaster@wundercatlives.com>
Fr: Martin Schneck < m.schneck@comixunderground.com>
Re: JANE HARRIS
How is JANE HARRIS looking in a bathing suit? You did not tell!
Martin Schneck
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To: Claire Harris <charris2004@freemail.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Hi!
Right now we’re in the car on the way to Castelfidardo to apply for Mark and Holly’s marriage license!
It’s so exciting!
It’s also sooooooooooo beautiful here. Even the BILLBOARDS seem more attractive than they do back home. They’re definitely more interesting… even though I can’t read them.
And the food! I just had the best breakfast of my LIFE… something called Nutella on this freshly baked— still warm from the oven— bread. Oh my God, I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
Anyway, hope you and Dad are well!
Ciao for now!
J
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To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Time to talk
Since you seem so reticent to discuss this face-to-face, I see no alternative other than to continue our eversation. I believe you were saying something to the effect that I ought to mind my own business where matters of Mark’s heart were concerned, and I was busy maintaining that I felt it my duty as a loyal friend to warn him of the emotional and financial jeopardy in which he is placing himself. Have you given the matter more thought, or are you still blinded by the romance of the thing?
Cal
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Time to talk
Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re e-ing me from the front seat AGAIN. CUT IT OUT!
J
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To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Time to talk
What other choice do you leave me when you won’t speak to me in person? I haven’t budged from my position that these two are making an enormous mistake. Have you, perhaps, come around to my way of thinking? I notice you seemed reluctant to leave the pool today when your friend Holly was urging us to get ready for the trip to Castelfidardo….
Cal
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Time to talk
Because I was having a nice time at the pool! At least until YOU showed up there.
And no, I haven’t changed my mind. Holly and Mark belong together, and I don’t understand why
anyone would think otherwise.
And I’m not “blinded by the romance of the thing,” as you put it. It’s sweet, that’s all. And if you do anything to try to ruin it, you’re a creep!
J
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To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Time to talk
A creep?
Cal
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Time to talk
You heard me. Or read me. A CREEP. Only a creep would try to talk his best friend out of marrying the girl of his dreams. Don’t even tell me that isn’t what you were up all night doing down there on the terrazza.
J
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To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Fr: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Time to talk
How do you know what I was up all night doing? You went to bed at ten.
Cal
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To: Cal Langdon <cal.langdon@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>
Re: Time to talk
I just happened to get up to get a drink of water, and I saw you out there. You and Mark.
But it didn’t work, obviously. Or we wouldn’t be making this trip to Castelfidardo, now, would we?
J
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To: Jane Harris <jane@wondercat.com>