With the dreams in her head and her brain feeling a little less wrapped in cotton, she tried skipping her morning dose on Friday. It wasn’t that she cared, so much as that she kind of wondered what would happen, where that would take her. A teacher walked by to make sure she took her medication with her grape juice. But then Tess spat the pill into a napkin when no one but the black camera-domes was watching, just as the pill was starting to turn to grey grit in her mouth. Some other kids did that too, she knew, because you could mix the pills with booze to get high or make a girl pass out. Not that the school knew that.
Tess wandered the halls between classes, reminiscing through years of school and getting mostly that grey, gritty feeling. The splotches of color on the walls looked like grade school projects, not high school work, but Tess had lost track of what got you a gold sticker here. On Castor the “grades” were about whether stuff broke and people died, not whether you felt good. Tess stared at a hand-painted poster of dinosaurs and cavemen in the Hollow Earth. She saw paint splotches with no meaning to them.
“Junk,” she said, and tore a chunk out of it with one hand. The paper ripped like a bad walkway platform. She felt weird, lost in the school’s twisty little passages. A boy had seen her shred the poster, but he walked on by; enforcing the rules was someone else’s job. Tess felt a moment of fear, but the school’s machines wouldn’t react to her defacing stuff, only to her being too loud or moving suspiciously. She could probably walk right out the door or something without being caught. Again without caring whether it worked, Tess went to a dusty iron door and pushed. It didn’t budge; it was locked against unauthorized exit. Tess shrugged and went to her next class.
But an hour later, at recess, she was back at the door. She was thinking, It’s pointless to be here; I could learn more at home. And: What right has anyone got to keep me here?
The door was shut against her, protecting her on behalf of unseen masters.
Irrationally Tess kicked the door, hating the thing for being in her way. She had no reason to be here; she should go home. She looked into an empty classroom, where a window opened for her. Oh, you admins are so smart. Tess climbed out and walked away from the school. Outside, the sun blazed, giving a hint of spring that made her shade her eyes. She went to her little car and hopped in before anyone tried to stop her, with a grin on her face.
A red Sovereign veered into the lot, motors humming, and pulled into the space to her left. Tess paused, key in the ignition, so that she wouldn’t hit anyone. There was just the driver, and she was distracted on the phone. “Well, I for one welcome such a policy—”
Tess’ dulled eyes widened and she flung herself down to hide from Henweigh.
The counselor was saying, “But if the legislature doesn’t understand that, I’ll have to go to Annapolis myself and get things under control.” Good, she was walking away… but then she went around to her right rear door and flung it open heedlessly, denting Tess’ car. Tess winced and lay there while Henweigh leaned against the Sovereign and talked. “I’m flattered. Certainly I’ll volunteer.” She wouldn’t shut up! Tess just had to stay down and keep quiet.
Not this time.
Henweigh was carried away with her grand plans on the phone. Enough! Tess turned the key, and her little car started with an electric hum. Tess sat up with no indication she was doing anything wrong and pulled smoothly away from there. A frantic glance in the rear-view mirror showed Henweigh looking at Tess’ car with puzzlement. Then Henweigh got distracted by her scheming again. Tess circled away through the parking lot, getting out of there, and her car hummed all the way home.
Mom and Dad were at work, so she let herself in. It was then that the fear hit her; she was a truant! You had to go to school. What was I thinking, sneaking out? Yeah, I can study here, but if I get caught, I’ll get drugged again.
All the pent-up frustration burst out of her as she leaned against the kitchen counter and sobbed. She hadn’t felt anything, hadn’t thought anything except through a haze. Now that dullness had faded, and she was pissed.
That felt better. Fire flowed in her veins.
She rummaged in her room for her computer to call Zephyr, but the local version was gone and the real one was way off on Castor. I’ve neglected him for so long! Would he even talk to me?
In her mind she heard, Of course I will, silly. I’ll always be with you in some form, even if it’s just software in your brain.
Tess leaned over her desk, eyes shut, thinking, Thank you.
Before she could call, she heard an engine outside, a big old gas-gulper. She peeked out a window and found a white van pulling into the driveway. School officials? Tess’ own car was outside for anyone to see. They’d find her; they’d drag her back!
Somebody got out, wearing a long coat and shades. Tess had seen her picture before, and recognized the voice that was muttering at her front door.
Tess threw the door open. “Miss Hayflick? What’re you doing here?”
Valerie the roboticist looked off-balance; she’d been about to tape a note to the door. “I should ask you that. Why aren’t you at school? I’m in town and wanted to meet in person, but didn’t expect it to be right now.”
Tess didn’t feel guilty and Valerie wasn’t likely to turn her in, so she shrugged. “I quit.”
Valerie laughed. “Good.”
Tess invited her in and got her a soda. They sat facing each other across the kitchen table. Valerie pushed her sunglasses up and said, “Glad to finally meet you. So, you’re the hacker.”
Tess stared at the table. “Not lately. I’m not anything.”
“Don’t say that! I know about your work. You’re brilliant.” She eyed Tess and said, “What’s going on?”
“You’re nosy, you know that?” She didn’t want to tell everything to Valerie, the one who’d enslaved her best friend. Tess had been weak and stupid. “I wasn’t in any shape to do anything useful, after the pirates came. I was a wreck.”
“And now?”
Tess slapped her hands on the table and leaned forward, full of words before she knew what she was saying. “I want to work again! I want to feel like I’m achieving something and doing things that no one’s done before, not chained up and being a good little girl!” She blushed, angry at herself for leaving Castor. “And I want to be with Zephyr again.”
Valerie rolled the soda can between her hands. “I guess he misses you more than me.”
“You hurt him,” said Tess.
“I didn’t have a choice.”
Tess thought back to the vision Zephyr had once shown her, of running with Valerie through tunnels. She’d been afraid of something chasing her. “What, do you want us to forgive you? We don’t hate you.”
“I want to see him again. I’m not living up to my full potential. The three of us — think what we could do if we could create anything we could imagine, if we weren’t so hemmed in.”
Tess’ eyes widened. “Are you offering me a job?”
“I came south to give a presentation on robotics to a couple of schools. In the process I wanted to check on you. I was planning to come back later.” She finished her drink and hesitated before adding quietly, “I’m thinking of taking a trip to Castor, very soon. Want to come?”
Tess said, “But I’ve got school! I mean, I can’t leave.”
“You’re an adult.”
“I’m a kid.”