Wanting to make amends for my curtness, I said as I sat down, "I'm sorry, Nora. I didn't mean to speak so crossly to you."
She placed the tray on the kitchen table in front of me and put her hand on my shoulder. She began to speak, but there was a catch in her throat, and she hurried away before I could say another word.
Even though it was the middle of January, it was not very cold, and so far this year there had been little snow. A light dusting of it covered the flat ground near the house, but it was not particularly deep on the lawns, only on the hill which sloped down to the barns, the pastures, and the pond.
Eric had cleared a path through the snowdrifts which covered the hill and had put down sand and salt. I followed this path, heading for Anna's cottage. I was almost there when she came out of the stables, turned, saw me, and waved.
I waved back and increased my pace.
After greeting me affectionately, as she always did, she said, "It's about… the ponies, Mal. You told me to do what I wanted about them, and… well, I have a customer."
I frowned. "A customer? What do you mean, Anna?" I asked, staring hard at her.
"I have someone who wants to buy them," she answered quickly, and there was a baffled expression in her soft brown eyes.
"Oh, I couldn't sell them!" I exclaimed. "Never."
My voice must have sounded harsh, for she colored and stammered, "I guess I misunderstood." put my hand out, touched her arm reassuringly. "No, no, you didn't misunderstand, Anna. I didn't make myself clear. And I'm sorry if I spoke harshly just now. When I told you to do what you wanted about the ponies, I meant that you should give them away. I could never sell Pippa and Punchinella."
Her face broke into a smile. "I have this friend who wants them. She'll take good care of them, Mal, and her children will, too. It's a lovely gift, thank you."
I nodded. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"
"No, that was it," Anna replied.
"I think I'll go in and look at the ponies, say good-bye to them," I muttered half to myself as I walked across to the stables.
Anna had the good grace not to follow me.
I went to the stalls and pulled a carrot out of my pocket for Punchinella, then another one for Pippa. After feeding them, patting their heads, and nuzzling them, I whispered, "Go off to a new home. And be sure you give two other children the same pleasure you gave mine."
Slowly I walked back up the hill to the house.
When I reached the top I sat down on the seat under the apple tree. It looked so bare, so bereft at this time of year, but in the spring and summer it was leafy and filled with delicate white blossoms. A beautiful tree, I have always thought.
This was one of my favorite spots at Indian Meadows. Andrew had called it Mommy's Place, for whenever I had a moment or two to spare I would come here-to relax, to think, to read, occasionally to paint, and very often just to sit and daydream. Eventually it had become theirs, too, the children's and Andrew's. If ever I was missing for a while, it was here they usually found me, and they always wanted to stay, to share this place.
Underneath this tree I had told the twins fairy tales and read to them, and sometimes we had had picnics on the grass. It was never anything but cool and shady even on the hottest of summer days, and it was one of the prettiest spots I had ever known.
And it was here that Andrew and I had come just to be alone, especially on warm nights when the sky was inky and bright with stars. Enfolded in each other's arms, we had sat together quietly talking about the future, or not talking, if we didn't want to, always at peace here.
How we had all loved it beneath the old apple tree.
I closed my eyes, shutting out the powder-blue sky and the January sunlight, squeezing back my tears.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
"Mal, there's a truck here, a delivery truck," Nora said, bending over me and touching I my shoulder.
I sat up with a start, blinking.
"I'm sorry I had to wake you up. I know you hardly ever sleep these days. But the delivery guy needs these papers signed, and he wants to know where you want the safe."
Pushing myself to my feet, I said, "Up here. I want it up here, Nora, in my clothes closet."
"Oh," she answered, throwing me a puzzled glance. "Why do we need a safe, Mal?"
"I have things I want to put in it," I replied. "Private papers, jewelry, documents." This was a lie, but I had to give her some sort of answer.
"You'd better come down and speak to him," she muttered, handing me the papers she was holding.
I followed her out into the corridor and down the stairs, relieved that the safe company had delivered my order on time. I had placed it several weeks ago, sent a check immediately, and had been waiting for it patiently.
The truck had driven up to the back door, and the driver was standing in the kitchen when Nora and I walked in.
She disappeared into the pantry. I said, "Hi, I'm Mrs. Keswick. I want you to bring the safe upstairs, but it might be a problem. The staircase is narrow."
"I got my helper in the truck," he said gruffly. "Can you show me where it's going?"
"Come with me."
I took him upstairs to my little sitting room, led him into the deep, walk-in closet where I kept my clothes, and said, "I want it against the back wall. There." I indicated the spot.
"Okay," he said and went back downstairs.
I was hard on his heels. In the kitchen I sat down at the table, gave the papers a cursory glance, found a ballpoint pen near the phone, and signed them.
Nora poked her head around the pantry door and asked, "Is Sarah coming tomorrow or Friday?"
"She's not coming this weekend."
"Oh." Nora looked taken aback. After a second she said, "So your mother's coming."
I shook my head. "No, I'll be by myself."
"But it's the first time you'll have been alone." She stood there uncertainly, staring at me, looking worried.
"I'll be fine," I reassured her. "There are things I have to do."
She did not move for a second, and then she turned and went back into the kitchen, a helpless expression settling on her face.
A moment later the delivery man from Acme and his helper were rolling in a dolly with the safe on top. "I'm gonna take the door off," the delivery man announced, and he proceeded to do just that. Once the door had been lifted off its hinges, he placed it on the floor. Then he laid the safe flat on the dolly, and he and his helper pushed the dolly through into the long gallery, heading toward the stairs. They returned for the door, and within fifteen minutes the safe had been reassembled and stood in my walk-in closet exactly where I wanted it.
Once I was alone, I practiced opening and closing it, following the instruction chart the delivery man had given me. When I had the knack of it, I erased the factory code and entered my own into the digital panel, using the date of my marriage.
It seemed to me that it was taking Nora longer than ever to finish up today.
Several times I looked at the clock on the mantelpiece in the office, baffled as to why she was still here. It was now four o'clock.
I had the answer in a flash. Eric was probably coming to see me, as he so often did during the week these days, and she wanted to be here when he arrived from work.
Now that the safe was here, I could clear up all my affairs, and I was writing checks, fulfilling my obligations. When I had finished paying the bills, I added up everything on my yellow pad, entered the balance, closed the checkbook, and put it in my desk drawer.
Without Andrew's monthly salary check, I had nothing coming in, and my funds were getting extremely low. And I had not yet received the money from his insurance policy. There was some money in our savings account, but it wasn't much, certainly not a fortune. Andrew and I had always lived life to the hilt, and frequently beyond our means.