It was almost nine when Alex closed the front door behind her. The house was in total darkness.
She headed through the hallway into the kitchen. After leaving the cemetery she had nipped to Marks & Spencer and picked up a ’96 Chateau Lascombes. She’d earned it.
Alex placed the bottle onto the marble worktop and paused. Something was not quite right. Immediately, she was hit by the smell. She looked around. An unpleasant odour filled the room. She took another sniff but couldn’t identify any particular element. It was foul and it was all around her.
‘Goodness, what died in here?’ she muttered to herself, as she opened the six foot door to the combined fridge freezer.
The bottom tray held a half bag of mixed salad that she’d opened earlier in the day. There was no milk as she rarely used it and everything else was in sealed containers.
She swung the heavy door closed. Her heart jumped into her mouth as her eyes met with those of the figure stood right in front of her.
Stunned, she stepped backwards.
‘Shane … wh— what the …’
Shane grabbed her upper arm to prevent her moving away from him. ‘Hello, Doctor. Have you missed me?’
Alex tried to slow her erratic breathing and get her bearings. Shane was here, in her house. How the fuck had that happened? Shane no longer even entered her thoughts.
His grip on her arm was firm, his eyes calm and controlled.
He towered above her by a good ten inches. He moved closer and the stench filled her nostrils. Nausea rolled around her stomach. It was a mixture of body odour, damp and stale food.
She gagged but kept her lunch the right side of her throat.
She tried to pull free of his hand but it was strong and determined. ‘Shane, what the hell are you doing here?’
Alex wondered if the tremor in her voice was as clear to Shane as it was to her. She didn’t know him well enough to gauge the full extent of his capabilities. But she had manipulated him once, could she do it again?
‘I’ve come to punish you, Alex.’
Alex swallowed. His expression was cold. He didn’t look like the vulnerable little boy anymore. He looked like a man. A real one.
She said nothing. She had no clue what was running through his head. She needed to think of a strategy. If she could just reach her mobile phone …
As the thought occurred to her, Shane reached behind for her handbag with his free hand. He upturned it so the contents spilled onto the dining table, then took her phone and placed it in his pocket.
Shane used his grip to push her back against the kitchen counter. He loosed her arm and placed each hand to the side of her, trapping her in that position.
She considered her options. She could try and raise her knee and thrust it between his legs in the hope he would fall to the ground. That would give her enough time to get to the door, unlock the bolts and chain and get out. Fantastic if it worked but not if she couldn’t get enough force behind the action. She’d seen what he’d done to Malcolm and he’d killed his abusive uncle with his own bare hands.
She decided on a different approach.
She swallowed her fear and smiled at him flirtatiously. ‘I have missed you, Shane.’
His head moved slowly back, his mouth forming a look of mild distaste.
Bad idea. She backtracked quickly and tried to look earnest. ‘I really have.’
Shane shook his head. ‘You’re a liar and a bitch. Before I met you I had a chance at a life. David gave me a roof over my head and those guys understood me. They were friends. And now I’ve lost them. I’ve lost everything because of you.’
She tried to keep her breathing even. She opened her mouth.
‘Don’t speak,’ he instructed. ‘Everything that comes out of your mouth is fucking bullshit. You made me believe I could be normal. You convinced me that I could feel clean and whole and you knew all along that I couldn’t.’
Lines too deep for a twenty-three-year-old furrowed his brow. ‘And you used me to hurt Malcolm. I don’t know why you did that but I hurt him real bad because of you. I think you damage people, Alex, and then walk away untouched, but not this time.’
Alex’s heart missed a beat. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was going to do to her. In a physical fight he held all the cards, but the psychological playing field was a different battle altogether.
‘I really trusted you, you know. I thought you were my friend and now I’ve lost everything because of you.’
She tried not to flinch as his right hand reached up and touched her cheek. ‘So, clean, so beautiful, so perfect.’
Shane’s coarse skin against her own almost choked her but she kept her expression benign. There was a wistfulness in his face that she recognised from many of her patients. There was still something he wanted, craved.
She needed to reach out to the little boy. Her safety depended on it.
She took a gamble and lightly touched his left hand. His jaw tensed but he didn’t remove his hand.
And, finally she had her strategy. She lowered her voice to a whisper. ‘I’m so glad you found me, Shane.’
His eyes bored into hers.
She ploughed on, forcing the fear from her voice. ‘I’ve been looking so hard for you. I went back to the house early the next morning to see if you were okay and David told me you’d gone. I wanted to say sorry for being mean to you. I was just angry at what you’d done to Malcolm.’ She shook her head. ‘I thought we had a connection. I thought I could help you.’
The brief shadow of indecision slowed her rapidly beating heart and she pushed on. ‘All those hours we spent together I thought we’d been making progress. I thought you believed in me, but when I saw the state of Malcolm it was as though our time together had meant nothing.’
He shook his head slowly but his right hand fell to the side, away from her face.
‘Come on, Shane. You felt it too. We had a friendship. I shouldn’t have said what I said.’ She looked down and shook her head. ‘It was cruel and it wasn’t even true.’
‘What wasn’t true?’
‘That I couldn’t help you.’
Total confusion now contorted his face. ‘But you said …’
‘I know what I said, Shane. But I was wrong to say that. It was only because I was angry at you. Of course I can help you. That’s why I walked the streets the following night looking for you.’
‘But …’
The balance had tipped. She moved out of his space and then turned, holding out her hand. She was back in control and this would end her way.
‘Come with me and I’ll start helping you now.’
He stayed where he was.
The danger had passed. Enough confusion had been caused to distract his rage. The little boy had resurfaced.
Alex coaxed him forward and led him to the consultation room.
‘I’ll put on the desk lamp, it’s more comforting.’
She reached to the side of her desk and switched it on. Another button sat to the right of it. She pushed it twice.
The room was bathed in a low, intimate glow. She led Shane to the patient’s chair. He sat.
A few minutes; that’s all it would take. Help was less than a mile away. She needed closure to this particular subject and the plan was now crystal in her mind.
She removed her jacket and placed it on the table between them. ‘Do you want me to start helping you, Shane?’ she asked, gently.
He said nothing but simply stared at her.
‘If you let me, I can make it all go away. We can start now and then in a little while I’ll call David and you can go back to Hardwick House. Is that what you want?’
He looked doubtful. ‘Can I?’
She nodded emphatically. ‘Of course you can. You chose to leave. Your room is still there for you.’
He looked at her disbelievingly. ‘You’d do that?’
She smiled reassuringly. ‘Shane, I would do anything to help you. You are my friend.’
His face collapsed and his head dropped into his hands. ‘Oh, God, Alex. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I thought I hated you. I thought you hated me. I thought I was so dirty that you couldn’t even stand to be near me.’