Shit.
“No,” I said, moving toward her.
She backed away before I could touch her, her hand held up as if she intended to slap mine away. I would’ve deserved it if she had.
“You’ve got suitcases out, boxes packed. That’s usually a sign of somebody leaving.”
“I’m not.” Dragging a hand through my hair, I fumbled for something to say. Bullshit and sarcasm just weren’t going to cut it this time. If I didn’t want to lose her, I had to be real. “Look, I thought for a while it was the best thing to do. Me being here...there’s some crazy fuck after you because of me and–”
She laughed. The sound was brittle, cold. It reminded me of chunks of ice breaking after a freezing winter.
“Has it dawned on you, you bastard, that maybe some crazy fuck is after you because of me?”
I came up short. No. Actually, no. That hadn’t dawned on.
She smirked, reading my answer in my silence.
But as that silence stretched out, I knew she was wrong. Knew that whole idea was wrong. I’d been getting by on my wits and instinct for as long as I could remember. I’d had to. Living with a mean drunk, I’d learned to gauge things fast. After my mom died and I ended up out on my ass, alone in the streets, I’d had nothing else but my wits and instinct to survive on. I trusted them, even when I trusted nothing and nobody else.
She was wrong. She didn’t want to hear it and maybe she didn’t need to, but this was about me.
“I’m not leaving,” I said softly. “Like I said, I was going to, but I changed my mind.”
Carly sneered at me as she strode by, clutching a towel to her breasts. I watched as she shoved my closet open and grabbed the closest shirt. I got a little weak in the knees watching as she pulled the black dress shirt on and let the towel fall. Fuck. My shirt, over her naked body.
“Yeah, I wonder what changed your mind,” she said scathingly as she turned toward me.
I jerked my gaze away from the sight of her fingers slipping buttons through the narrow little holes. Never let it be said that there’s nothing sexy about watching a woman get dressed. It makes a man think about taking the clothes right back off. Especially when it’s his clothes she’s putting on.
“Tell me.” She pulled her wet curls out from under the collar. “Since it seems like this was a recent development, just when, exactly, did you change your mind?”
She crossed her arms over her breasts and glared at me, waiting for an answer.
“I...” Licking my lips, I floundered for an answer. Finally, I just shoved my hands into my pockets and risked the truth. “Last night.”
The disdain on her face deepened and she took a step to move past me. I caught her arm, needing to explain, needing her to understand.
She whirled around, her hand flying out.
I let it come. The slap sent my head snapping to the side. I didn’t let go of her arm, though. I deserved her anger, but I was still going to make sure she knew the whole truth. No matter how much it scared the shit out of me.
“Feel better?” I asked.
Tears gleamed in her eyes. “No!”
I pulled her closer. She didn’t want to come, but I wasn’t about to let her walk out like this. My heart twisted with the knowledge that I was responsible for her tears. I’d thought leaving would keep me from hurting her, but, as usual, I fucked it up.
“My decision had nothing to do with making love to you,” I whispered. It wasn’t until the words were out that I realized what I’d said. Making love. Not having sex. Not sleeping with her.
I was in too deep and I knew it.
“You’re such a fucking liar.” She practically spat the words at me.
I cradled the side of her face with my hand, and when she pulled away to avoid my touch, I contented myself with toying with the ends of her hair. If she truly wanted me to let her go, I would, but I had to tell her this first. She had to know what she’d done for me, to me.
“I’d been arguing with myself about it for a while, but the minute you showed up on the front porch, Carly, I knew I couldn’t do it. That’s when I...” My voice cracked.
Carly’s eyes darted toward me, then bounced away.
Slowly, I went to my knees, my hands moving to her hips. I pressed my face to her belly, breathing in the scent of her. My soap, the fabric softener I used...and her. Just her.
“That’s when I figured it out, Carly,” I whispered, my voice low and soft. I closed my eyes as I said the words I hadn’t said to a woman in a very long time. “I love you.”
Any answer she might have made was interrupted by the blaring ring from my phone. I wanted to ignore it, would have ignored it, but this was a special ring, one programmed into the phone by Ryan, and it was the one ring I wasn’t allowed to ignore.
Shit. Perfect timing.
With a sigh, I got to my feet and picked up the phone. “What?”
“Is she there?”
Double shit.
“Yes.” I didn’t bother with an explanation. He wasn’t stupid.
“Cameo’s coming to get you both. Neither one of you leave.”
The call ended and I turned toward Carly. I set the phone down on the table. “Cameo’s on her way to pick us up. Ryan wants to see us.”
She nodded, her jaw clenched tight. We both knew we had to talk, but we didn’t have time now. This wasn’t the sort of thing we could get part-way into and then pause it to have a discussion with Ryan.
“I need to get dressed.” Carly didn’t look at me as she walked out to the living room where we’d left her clothes from last night.
I took a few minutes to gather myself and then went out into the living room to wait for Cameo. Carly was wearing her own jeans, but had kept on my shirt. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I hoped it was a good sign.
Except she didn’t speak to me as we waited. Or when we came out of my house to meet Cameo on one of the carts people used to get around the estate. She didn’t say anything during the ride, despite the looks Cameo was throwing at us both. Even when we walked into the security office and Ryan gestured to the seats across from his desk, she was silent.
“Next time,” Ryan said, his voice calm despite the hard glint in his eyes. “Let somebody know where you are.”
The words were directed at Carly, but the anger was directed primarily at me.
Shit. We already had a meeting scheduled this morning, and I was sure he planned on handing me my ass as soon as Carly was out of the room.
“Carly.” His voice softened.
She looked up from her pensive study of her nails to meet his gaze.
“You know we were just worried.”
She shrugged. “I was on the grounds, Ry. I’m a big girl. If I want to take a midnight walk, I can.”
“But you didn’t come back,” he pointed out.
She gave him a saccharine smile and I braced myself for what I knew was coming. That smile was dangerous.
“That’s because I was getting fucked six different ways to Sunday,” she said, batting her lashes at him innocently.
Oh shit.
Behind us, Cameo choked. Dave, the only one of us with a family, was standing a few feet behind Ryan, and he hid a smile behind a quick cough. Ryan rubbed his face and lifted his eyes to the ceiling. I had a feeling he was praying for patience. Or maybe a blunt object to beat me with.
My neck prickled, and I shifted casually, taking advantage of the movement to put Ridley into my peripheral vision. He stood by the window, pure, undiluted loathing in his gaze. No, it was even more than that. Whatever it was that had made him instantly dislike me had ratcheted up to full-out hatred.
I’d already known never to give that man my back, but that look made me start to wonder if it was safe for me to be alone with him at all. He would try to take me down at some point, I knew it for certain now. But he wouldn’t try a fair fight. He’d go for weaknesses, exposed points. He’d fight ugly, dirty.
Abruptly aware that others were staring at me, I jerked a shoulder in a shrug, but didn’t look at any of them. “What?” I demanded. “If you want a step-by-step replay of the night, you’ll have to see if Carly will help you. I don’t kiss and tell.”