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Their limousine cruised down Fifth Avenue and eased to a stop in front of Rockefeller Plaza. The party planner was waiting in a tuxedo with narrow shoulders. Frank referred to him as “the fairy,” but insisted they use him because he had planned the same kind of confirmation party for the governor’s nephew. There were others waiting too. The caterer. The florist. The business manager for the band.

Lexis hustled Allen inside, still bent over his Game Boy, while Frank opened the trunk of their Mercedes limo and began dispersing banded stacks of money. Cash was king. That’s what Frank always said, and when Lexis stepped inside the Rainbow Room on the top floor she couldn’t help feeling that in a way it was. Gold and silver balloons, bundled into columns, rose to the ceiling. The center of every table bloomed with a four-foot-high flower arrangement of white flowers, lilies, roses, orchids, and gardenias. Over the head table loomed a gold football goalpost. At each place was an NFL football personalized for the guests and signed by Joe Namath, who would be joining them at the head table. Cash was king.

Allen looked up from his Game Boy.

“Wow.”

He ran to his own place at the head table and rolled the football between his hands.

“It says, ‘Congratulations to my good friend Allen Francis,’” he said, looking up at her with his hazel brown eyes and blinking.

“That’s exciting,” Lexis said.

“Why did Dad have to tell him Allen Francis?”

“Your father is very proud of you, Allen. This party cost him a lot of money, so please don’t act spoiled.”

“I’m not spoiled,” he said with a frown. “Here. Catch a pass, Mom.”

Allen threw a spiral across the room. Lexis made a breadbasket. The ball hit her in the chest and bounced out to the floor.

“Ha. Never throw a pass to a woman. How about this place?” Frank said in his loud low voice as he stepped into the room, arms spread wide, gut spilling out of his tuxedo jacket. “I had mine in the VFW hall. Throw me that other ball.”

Frank had grown steadily bigger over the past fourteen years so that he now weighed close to three hundred pounds. Lexis was pretty certain that the more of himself there was, the more he liked it. He still started every morning with a ten-minute gaze into the bathroom mirror, stretching back his lips to examine his teeth and toying with the thick curly locks that had recently gone gray at the temples. Allen took another ball from the table and threw a whistling spiral across the room to Frank. The ball smacked loudly into Frank’s hands but he held on.

“See that?”

Lexis dusted off the front of her dress and adjusted her two-karat diamond earrings. Frank tossed the ball back and took a long velvet box out of his coat pocket.

“I got this for you,” he said, handing it to her.

“Thank you,” she said. She had stopped telling him that she didn’t want any more jewelry years ago. It was a diamond necklace highlighted by a five-karat teardrop pendant.

“Thank you, Frank.”

“Hey,” he said, hugging her to him, then letting her go as she pushed away. “I’m not just a great father, you know.”

Lexis forced a smile.

The band began to play and the room soon filled up. Other big men in tuxedos with red ties and cummerbunds. Women with screechy voices, Brooklyn accents, high hair, and high heels. Frank’s business associates. Low-level politicians. Bookies. Judges. Some of Lexis’s friends from the board of the Guggenheim.

Lexis turned from her friend Marge to hear Frank greeting his old friend Bob Rangle. Rangle wore a perfectly tailored black suit with a gray silk tie. His long hands were clutched together and carefully manicured. He’d grown a neat thin mustache, maybe to make up for the gleaming baldness that shone through the long strands of hair swept over the top of his head. His frame was still straight, tall, and angular, and he seemed to have become infected with the same disease that caused his wife to walk with an arch in her back and her chin in the air.

“Sorry Dani couldn’t be here,” Rangle said, referring to his twelve-year-old daughter. “She had a sleepover. It’s hard enough to get Katie to a function on Sunday afternoon, but when I told her the governor was coming…”

Beside him stood Katie Vanderhorn, his tall wife. Old-money New York. Still pretty with her long auburn hair despite the heavy makeup, crow’s feet, and a nose that was so straight surgery wasn’t even a question.

“I just read his book,” she said, “otherwise, I promise you I wouldn’t be that interested.”

“Is that friend of yours from Merrill Lynch, Michael Blum, coming, do you know?” Frank asked.

“He said he’d try, Frank,” Rangle said, looking at his gold Piaget Emperador.

“You’d think having the governor here says something,” Frank said.

“In the world of finance, relationships are important,” Rangle said, squinting his close-set dark eyes at two loud men hugging and slapping each other’s back.

“There’s Joe Namath over there,” Frank said, pointing.

The Rangles’ faces went blank.

“You should try the cold lobster,” Lexis said, motioning toward the ice sculpture of a football player rising up in the middle of the hors d’oeuvre table.

“Thank you, dear,” Katie said, and off they went.

“God, he’s a flaming asshole,” Frank said. “But if I can get that financing…

“Where is he?” he continued, looking at his watch and then the door.

“Isn’t he always late?” Lexis asked.

“The troopers should be here by now, though,” Frank said, looking around. “Some of his people.”

Just then, a tall, professorial-looking man with gray hair and gold-rimmed glasses walked in wearing a blue suit and yellow tie. His name was Cornell Ricks, the deputy director of the Thruway Authority and Frank’s liaison to the governor’s office. Ricks saw Frank and approached him with open arms, giving Frank an awkward hug and a stiff pat on the back.

“Frank, congratulations,” he said. “Lexis, you too. I know you’re both very proud. I’m sorry the governor can’t make it. He sends his deepest regrets, but his wife isn’t feeling well at all.”

Ricks took Frank by the arm, lowered his voice, and said, “He’s very concerned, and he was glad that a family man like you would understand.”

Frank’s mouth was clamped tight and his face began to turn color. Finally, he took a deep breath and let it out through a small space between his lips.

Lexis stepped back and said, “I’ll go tell them we can sit down.”

She turned quickly away so she didn’t have to hear. The waiters had already filled the glasses at each table with red wine. Lexis stopped at a place by the wall and looked around before she picked up a glass and emptied it.

It warmed her empty stomach and she felt it quickly run up her center and calm her brain. She felt better already, and then she saw her boy across the room. The day she had him it looked like neither of them would make it, but now the photographer was lining him up next to Joe Namath, the two of them with their hands on the same football. Allen’s face was radiant. She sighed and emptied another wineglass. Her life wasn’t so bad.

Really, it wasn’t.

19

WHEN I WAKE, a thin light is seeping in from the dirty window across from my cell. A new start. As soon as I don’t cooperate, they’ll cover the front of my cell with a steel partition and I’ll live again in the darkness. I listen to the sound of my own breathing. In a way, the darkness is better. Then I can’t see how small my world really is. I will wait until tonight, though, before I do anything bad. Bluebeard is on the three to eleven shift and I will save my spit, a thick wad of flaxen goo, for his face especially.