But the economic logic of war was brutal. At least as a pilot, the extensive training invested in you made you worth something. Here, among these Army grunts, the training was a good deal cheaper, and the grunts were a lot more disposable as a consequence. It was a chilling, desolating thought, which no amount of Doctrinal justification made easier to bear.
And so these children turned to each other for comfort.
Anyhow, the situation got better, bit by bit. But not for Enduring Hope.
Hope withdrew into himself; he became gray, oddly sickly, and was always exhausted. His broad, soft face, between those protruding ears, rarely showed a smile.
Pirius knew Captain Marta wasn’t trying to destroy Hope; she was attempting to break him down to build him up. But, he feared, she was getting it wrong. Pirius couldn’t see a thing he could do about it.
It came to a head at a roll call.
It was the thirty-fourth day after Pirius’s arrival here. Once again Enduring Hope had been the last to finish his run. The silence of the waiting cadets hid a wave of resentment that would break over Hope once he got back to the barracks.
But today, as he stood in his place in the line, wheezing, his body heaving with the strain of breathing, Pirius saw a spark of defiance.
Holding her data desk, Captain Marta called him. “Tuta.”
“My name,” he said, “is Enduring Hope.”
“Two more laps,” Marta said levelly. “Increased load.”
Still gasping, Hope stumbled out of his place in the line, and prepared to resume his run. Over the open loop Pirius could hear a barely muffled grumble as the cadets prepared to wait in their skinsuits even longer.
Enough, he thought. This is my fault, after all. He stepped forward. “Captain Marta.” Every eye save the Captain’s were on him.
Marta inspected her data desk. “I told you, Cadet. No questions.”
“His name is Enduring Hope.”
Hope heard him and stopped; he turned, astonished, hands on his knees. “Pirius,” he said between gasps. “Shut it.”
Marta said, “If you’re so keen to share his punishment, you can take it for him.” She touched her chest. The weight on Pirius’s shoulders increased suddenly, like a heavy load being dropped onto his back. “Three laps,” she said.
He walked stiffly out of line, and began to plod toward the crater path.
Hope said, “No, sir. I won’t have him take my punishment for me.”
“Four laps, Pirius.”
“Captain—”
“Five laps, increased load.”
Again the burden on Pirius’s back increased. He heard nothing more from Hope, who returned to his place in line.
Pirius traced the now familiar route, around and around this ancient splash in the Rock. His footprints shone pale in regolith that weathered quickly in this ferocious radiation environment, so close to the heart of the Galaxy.
He was already tired from his own training, and the increased load was the heaviest he had yet had to bear. Even after one lap, his heart was thumping, his lungs pulling, a blistering headache locked across his temples, and his stressed knees were tender. But he kept on, and counted off the laps, two, three, four.
As he neared the end of his fifth lap, Marta came to stand at the end of the course, her artificial half- torso gleaming by Galaxy light. He didn’t acknowledge her. He ran right past her, ran past the finish line. She let him run on, but she increased the load again. And when he repeated the stunt after the next lap, she increased it again.
By the end of the tenth lap he could barely see where he was going. And yet still he raised one foot after another, still he pounded over the churned-up dirt.
This time, as he passed Marta, she touched a control on her chest.
His suit locked to immobility. Suddenly he was a statue, poised in midstep, unbalanced. He fell, feather-slow. He hit the ground and finished up with half his face buried in carbonaceous dirt. His lungs heaved, but he could barely move inside the suit.
Marta crouched down so he could see her face with his one exposed eye. Over the voice loop he thought he could hear the whir of exoskeletal multipliers. She said, “It’s not my job to kill you, Cadet.”
“Sir.”
She leaned closer. “I know your type. I could see it in your face the minute you landed. That’s why I’ve picked on your fat friend, of course. To flush you out.”
“Sir.
She hissed, “Do you imagine you’re a hero, Pirius? Do you think you’re special?” She waved a hand. “Look at the sky. At any moment there are a billion human beings on the front line of this war. And do you imagine that out of all that great host you will be noticed?”
He struggled to speak. “That’s my ambition, sir.”
She leaned back. “If I release you, will you keep running?”
“Sir.”
“What do I have to do to keep you from killing yourself?”
“Artillery.”
“What?”
“There is an artillery unit, here on Quin.” It was true; Burden had told him. “Send Enduring — uh,
Tuta there. He’s an engineer. With respect, sir.”
She grunted. “I’ll take it on advisement. But next time you pull a stunt like this, cadet, I’ll let you kill yourself for sure.”
“Noted, sir.” She got up and walked away, leaving him lying in the dirt. Cohl, Burden, and a couple of other cadets came to carry him back to the airlock, where they had to cut him out of his locked suit.
It took a couple of days to come through, but Enduring Hope’s transfer to a platoon of monopole- cannon gunners was confirmed.
Chapter 11
Pirius Red’s cockpit was just a jet-black frame, open to space, very cramped. Through the open frame, he could see the pale yellow-gold stripes of Saturn’s cloud tops turning with majestic slowness. There were no physical controls, only Virtual displays and guide icons that hovered before his chest. The only other light was the soft green glow of the suit’s biopack. It was a lash-up.
But at least the cockpit was human-built, unlike the rest of his craft.
When he glanced over his shoulder, he could see the sleek, slim form of the ship’s main body, and the flaring, stunningly graceful shape of its wings. The hull was utterly black, black beyond any human analysis, so black it seemed that not a single infalling photon of Saturn light was reflected. This was the nightfighter disabled and captured by his own future self, Pirius Blue.
It was hard to believe this was happening. Today, six weeks after arriving on Earth, in the heart of Sol system itself, Pirius Red was to fly a Xeelee ship.
For a boy brought up at the center of the Galaxy, the sky of Sol system was dismal, empty, its barrenness barely broken by the few stars of this ragged spiral-arm edge and the bright pinpoint of the sun. Even Saturn was surprisingly dim, casting little light; the immense planet might harbor the mightiest concentration of firepower in Sol system, but it seemed oddly fragile. He wondered briefly how it might have looked in the old days when its tremendous rings of ice and dust had not yet been burned up as fuel and weaponry. You couldn’t even see the Core. Nilis had told him that from here the Galaxy center should be a mass of light the size of the Moon, brighter than anything in Earth’s sky save Sol itself. But Galaxy-plane gas clouds hid it. The earthworms didn’t even know they lived in a Galaxy until a few centuries before star flight began.
But today he didn’t care about earthworms. To Pirius, sitting here, this bare Galaxy-rim sky was a wild, exotic space, and to be at the controls of a genuine nightfighter was an unimaginable adventure.