Heroc gave a whooping sound and urged his horse down the narrow path. The idiot was showing off, pushing himself and his horse to practically race. But man and horse had done it many times before, so he wasn’t worried his brother would break his fool neck.
He went down at a more sedate pace, not wanting to frighten Audrey or jeopardize her safety. When the horse reached the sandy beach, he dismounted and let the reins drop. The horse would not wander far and would come when Abrah whistled.
Audrey slid into his waiting arms. He held her to him, savoring her closeness before letting her feet touch the ground. She wobbled a bit at first and grabbed at his arm for support. “My thighs feel like jelly.” But she laughed as she said it, so he knew she was not in any true pain.
“I’ll rub them later.” Even as he said the words he knew it would not happen. She was leaving them. There was no later, only now.
Heroc walked toward them and took her hand. “Come and walk with me.”
Carn came to sit beside him as Abrah watched his brother and Audrey ramble down the beach. Every few steps she’d stop and pluck something from the rocky sand and study it before carrying on. Heroc kept pace beside her, watching over her, wanting her.
He could sense his brother’s growing sense of impending doom. The day was waning with each roll of the waves and time was running out for all of them.
Audrey watched the water roll in over the sand, rock and kelp before rolling out again, the swooshing sound music that made her heart swell and all her worries disappear. She inhaled the cool, salty air, wondering if she’d ever really breathed fresh air before. There was nothing to taint it, no car exhaust or factory waste. Only clean, life-giving air filled her lungs.
Beside her, Heroc kept pace, allowing her to wander as she chose. What would it be like to race up and down the beach on a warm day, to maybe strip off her clothing and slip into the water for a swim? The bottom looked safe enough. There were some rocks out a ways but close to shore there seemed to be a lot of sand.
She had no idea if the tide was coming in or if had reached its peak and was on the way out again. The sound of the surf soothed her soul. As a child she’d loved the beach, but it had been years since she’d been to one.
Why had she stayed away for so long?
Work. That was the easy answer. Like most people, she’d gotten caught up in responsibilities and a job that left little time for play. Her life had become so small. She went to work and she went home. Other than the few shops she patronized, her life was pretty empty.
What would happen if she stayed? She couldn’t believe she was even considering such a thing. What would she do here? There is no way she’d want to be dependent on a man for everything. She was used to being independent, having her own money. She wasn’t cut out to be a fifties housewife.
Even as she had the thought, she knew she wasn’t being fair to either man. They hadn’t asked that of her. All they’d asked was that she consider staying. She was honestly tempted. But if she made a mistake, if somewhere down the road she regretted her choice, there was no going back.
This was all or nothing. An act of faith when she no longer had any.
She didn’t trust her own judgment. After all, look where it had gotten her. She was thirty-three years old and had never even come close to getting married before. She honestly hadn’t even thought much about having a family of her own. Every waking hour was consumed by her job.
What would she do when she went home?
Obviously, she’d have to start searching for a new job. The fact that she’d had an anxiety attack and had ended up in hospital would make her bosses look at her differently. As much as they paid lip service to her taking care of her health, they’d see it as a weakness. The writing was on the wall.
That left her with the question: What did she want out of life?
Before she could answer, Carn ran up to her, dragging a long, thin stick in his mouth. He danced in front of her and dropped it at her feet. It seemed the huge, ferocious dog had a playful side.
She bent down and grabbed the stick. “You want this?” She waved it in front of him. Carn bent forward on his front paws, leaving his butt sticking up in the air. His ears were alert and he gave a playful growl. She could hardly believe she’d been afraid of him at first. He was so familiar to her now. Just like his masters.
Audrey tossed the stick as hard as she could and Carn pounded after it. He picked it up and raced beyond her, this time to Abrah, who stood staring out over the horizon. He looked so alone and she wanted to go to him but didn’t dare. It wouldn’t be fair of her, not when she was leaving.
“Are you cold?” Heroc touched her cheek and stared down at her with concern. Had anyone other than her mother ever asked her that question? Both Dannon brothers seemed genuinely concerned about her health and happiness. She didn’t understand them at all.
She shook her head. “I’m fine. The walking is keeping me warm.” That and the rising sun. Her stomach growled and there was no doubt Heroc had heard it by the grin on his face.
“Come. It is time to eat. I had Tara pack us some lunch.”
They trudged back up the beach toward the horses. On impulse, when they passed by Abrah, she grabbed his hand and pulled him along with them. He resisted at first and she half expected him to pull away, but he heaved a deep sigh and allowed her to lead him toward their waiting lunch.
Chapter Thirteen
As the afternoon waned, they all grew quiet.
The picnic lunch had been consumed hours ago. Heroc was a font of information about the ocean and tides. She was surprised to learn they had several boats, which they used for fishing near the shore. He pointed out the various birds that glided overhead and recounted several legends of sea monsters that plied the deep waters.
Abrah was quiet. Watching them, with them, yet separate.
She’d played on the beach like a child, building a sandcastle as best as she could with Carn’s dubious help while the men practiced with their swords. They were always armed, the huge swords such a part of the men she barely took note of the weapons anymore. The brothers had stripped off their tunics and fought naked from the waist up, except for the wrist and armbands, which were for more than just decoration. They were for protection, used to deflect the opponent’s blade.
Their motions were fluid as they dipped and swirled, their chests glistening with sweat. The deadly weapons flashed in the sunlight as they circled one another.
She’d shucked her coat as the day warmed and sat back on the beach with her arms wrapped around her knees, watching them. A sense of contentment enveloped her and she never wanted the moment to end.
But, like all good things, it had come to an end. The men eventually put away their weapons and pulled their tunics on for the ride back. A wild wave rolled in, hit her sandcastle and dissolved it in a flood, washing it back out to the ocean. Her eyes had welled with tears, which was stupid. A sandcastle wasn’t meant to be permanent, much like her stay here. Soon Javara would be nothing but a cherished memory.
Now she was sitting in front of Heroc and they were riding back toward the keep. She’d wanted to ride with Abrah again since she’d spent much of her time on the beach with Heroc, but he’d turned away from her, mounting his horse and starting out ahead of them, leaving her no choice but to ride with his brother.
His obvious rejection had hurt more than she’d thought it would, constricting her chest and making it difficult to get a breath. But she couldn’t fault him for it. He was protecting himself and she understood that.
He was the oldest brother, the one who carried the bulk of the responsibility, even though Heroc took on as much of the load as Abrah would give him. She and Abrah were alike in that way. She’d shouldered responsibility for herself and her mother when she was still a young woman, burying her own dreams in order to do what needed to be done in order to survive.