“I’ve done a lot of bad things, not all on purpose.” I played with the hem of my shirt. “There’s more to tell you about us. You and me.”
He straightened up in the seat and stared at me. “Go on.”
“Your dream, it wasn’t a dream. It was a memory. That really did happen.” He shook his head, but I continued. “Matt, when you kissed me in my backyard and you died, I brought you back to life. Only, I did it wrong and Alex had to…” I couldn’t say it. He’d hate Alex even more.
“What did he do to me?” His fists were clenched at his sides.
“He had to release your soul, only he wasn’t powerful enough to do it yet so he poisoned you with his blood. You died again.”
“He killed me?” His voice was way too loud, and a few people turned around to look at us.
We both slumped down in the seats, hiding from view.
“He had to. You weren’t you anymore. It was your body, but your soul didn’t fully return. You were a zombie. I watched you rip apart a bunny.”
His hands flew to his face, covering his eyes. “Please, tell me you’re making this up. I’ve handled a lot since we came back. I’ve believed a bunch of crazy stuff, but this is too much.”
“I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop?”
He lowered his hands. “No. Keep going. How did I end up in the cemetery with you?”
“It was months later. Hades had this plan to get me to wipe out the Ophi line, but I refused. He raised you—only this time, you weren’t a zombie. You were you. Human. Alive. When you touched my tear you died again.” I looked away, unable to face him after such a huge confession.
He didn’t say anything for a long time. We rode along, watching the scenery go by. Part of me felt like an idiot for unloading all that on him. Maybe ignorance really was bliss. But didn’t he have a right to know what had happened to him, no matter how bad it was?
The bus pulled up to a stop, and a bunch of people got out. Matt and I had at least another two stops before we’d be close enough to walk to the school. I wondered how long he’d keep up the silent treatment. Once the bus was back on the road, I turned to look at Matt.
“Do you hate me?”
He sighed and shifted in the seat so he was facing me. “I could never hate you.”
“Then why the silent treatment? I figured you’d yell or ask more questions, but you didn’t do or say anything.”
He brushed a strand of blonde hair out of my face. “Have I mentioned how much I miss your hair?”
Me too. In the right lighting, my crazy waves almost looked Medusa-like. In a non-creepy-snake kind of way. Without my powers or my hair, I wasn’t feeling connected to Medusa at all, and she was the one I had to talk to if I was going to save the Ophi.
“Did I lose you?”
“Sorry, just thinking.”
“I figured that.” He fidgeted with his hands, like he didn’t know what to do with them. “Look, there’s something I need to ask. I’m not trying to be the guy who steals someone else’s girlfriend—”
“I know you’re not like that.” Was I saying this to convince him not to go there? Or did I really know this was true?
“I just need to know. If I hadn’t touched your tears, if I hadn’t died again that night in the cemetery, what would you have chosen?”
He meant who would I have chosen. Instinctively, I reached for his hand, but I stopped before our fingers grazed each other. I tucked my hands under my legs to keep from touching Matt. “You have to understand that there is no way for us to be together. My powers have killed you more than once. I won’t put you in danger again.”
“You aren’t a danger to me now. Can’t we stay like this?”
Stay like this? Forever? “I don’t know if that’s even possible. My soul is split. I didn’t want to mention this, but my dream last night wasn’t a dream, either. While I was sleeping, my focus slipped back to the underworld where my body and Ophi soul were delivering someone to Tartarus. I saw Alex. He said I’ve been kind of out of it, not responding to him when he calls to me.”
I couldn’t help noticing the way Matt’s eyes lit up at that.
“Maybe you’re becoming fully human again. Maybe your Ophi soul is fading away. Can it do that?”
“Honestly, I don’t know, but I don’t think so. I’m stronger as an Ophi. I have a lot of power. Here,” I released my hands from under my legs and motioned to the bus, “I’m defenseless.”
“And you don’t want to give up the power you had.”
I thought about how some Ophi had turned evil as a result of having too much power or even just craving too much power. It had happened to Victoria, Troy, Abby, and Chase, just to name a few. I didn’t want it to happen to me, too.
“I don’t, but to be honest, the power scares me a little, too.”
“Is this life really so bad? Being human? Being with me?”
This time he took my hands in his. My heart ached, knowing what he was really asking. He wanted me to take Hades up on his offer that night in the cemetery. He wanted me to choose him.
“Hades could make it so we could be together. You’d be human. I bet he’d love that idea.”
Maybe he would, but I’d have to give up Alex. I’d have to let Hades keep the souls of my friends forever. “Matt, you don’t understand what that would mean. I’d be sacrificing every Ophi for my own happiness.”
“So, you admit you’d be happy with me?” Hope filled his eyes.
“I was happy with you before all this happened, but a lot has changed. I love Alex.”
“You said you thought you were falling in love with me. I already love you, Jodi. We’d be perfect together. I think you know that.”
Maybe I did. Suddenly, this all felt like a huge test. A one-question multiple-choice test worth all the points in the world.
Who would I rather be?
A. Ophi and be with Alex
or
B. Human and be with Matt.
Chapter 14
Matt stared at me while I struggled to make sense of what was happening. I was literally two different people right now, and they both wanted different things. I couldn’t please both. Ultimately, I’d have to make a choice, one that would hurt more than just one half of my soul.
“Am I wrong?” Matt said, breaking me from my internal debate.
I slowly pulled my hands from his. “It’s just not that simple. Believe me, I wish I could separate both halves of me and choose you and Alex. But this is about more than which guy I want to be with.”
Matt nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I said I wouldn’t push you, and here I am putting pressure on you. I shouldn’t have said any of that.”
“Do you ever wish you’d chosen Melodie instead?” The question came out of nowhere, but Melodie had been in love with Matt. I’d found that out right before I’d killed him.
“Melodie? She’s one of my best friends. I don’t think of her like that.”
“I was one of your best friends, too.”
He smiled and waved off my comment. “Nah, I was only pretending to be your friend because I wanted to date you.”
“That’s not you. You’re too good a guy to do something so deceitful.”
“Ouch, the nice guy speech. That hurts.”
“I love that you’re the nice guy. It’s actually what attracted me to you in the first place.”
“Really?” He wagged his eyebrows at me. “It wasn’t my tall, dark, and handsome physique?”
I laughed.
“What? It’s not that funny.” He looked mildly hurt.
“No, it’s not that. It’s…well, do I need to show you a mirror? You’re not tall or dark anymore, and as for handsome, Brian had nothing on you.” Crap! I’d just flirted again.